| INTERVIEW WITH KANE - AUGUST 26, 2003 |
| Marz : *talks to set up people backstage* (Is the stupid towel wearin fuck here yet?) Kane walks in with that black towel on his head Marz : Hey Kane, what's fryin? Heh heh no pun intended, have a seat. Kane : mmm Marz : So tell me, Kane, what in the fuck is your fuckin problem? Bend over, let me pull the stick out of your ass. Kane : STOP MAKING FUN OF ME. Marz : Oh shut the fuck up you crybaby, and answer the god damn question, what the hell crawled up your ass and died? Kane : hmmph Marz : Can you speak? Kane : Ooga booga Marz : Alright, well it seems to me that you've gone insane, atleast temporarily. Do you atleast agree with that you dirty, stinky, black towel wearing fuck face? Kane : *Kane smiles* Marz : Oh shit, when was the last time you brushed your teeth? Kane : I've been drinking gasoline lately and I-- Marz : Hold on, what the fuck? Gasoline? Kane : mmm Marz : Well that explains alot. Kane : Oh does it? I always knew you were my enemy, I always knew you wanted me to take my mask off. Marz : Heh, uh actually I'd like it better if you kept it on. Kane : hmmph Marz : C'mon, Kane, we go back. We know each other from kindergarden. Cookie Monster was your favorite character on Sesame Street Kane : Yeah he was cool wasn't he? Marz : Not cooler than Big Bird. Kane : STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!! Marz : .... Kane : YOU NEED TO FEEL MY PAIN!!! Marz : Yeah yeah yeah and you need to feel a finger in your ass, shut your mouth nobody's laughing at you. Kane : STOP IT *Kane rolls on floor and hides his face in his hands* Marz : Jesus Christ, you're 7 feet tall, 326 pounds and you got the intelligence of a fuckin 4 year old. Did your mom drop you on your head as a baby? Kane : I don't have a mother. Marz : Did she die in the fire? Kane : I never had a mother. Marz : Then who the fuck gave birth to you? Kane : Rico Marz : *says under breath* Always knew there was something strange about that boy. Kane : Huh? Marz : Oh, nothing nothing. So what was your childhood like growing up? Kane : I didn't have one, I didn't grow up. Marz : So you were always 7 feet tall and 300 pounds? Kane : For as far back as I can remember yes. The kids would always make fun of me. Marz : I can't see why they'd do that... Kane : Are you making fun of me? Marz : Me? Making fun of you? Ha! Kane, you're such a kidder! Kane : hmmph Marz : So tell me about the fire Kane. Kane : No. Marz : Why not? Kane : Because you'll make fun of me. Marz : You used to wear your mask because you said your face was horribly burned, and as everybody can see, there's no burn marks on your face. It looks perfectly......fine. *chuckles under breath* Kane : That's what they all told me. Marz : Well what the fuck, if everybody's telling you the same thing maybe you'd think they're right? Kane : They're all lying. I see the marks. Marz : But you broke every mirror you walk by... Kane : I know they are there. I feel them. Marz : Can I feel them? Kane : No. Ooga booga. Marz : ....Is that supposed to scare me? Kane : OOGA BOOGA Marz : umm... Kane : I brought you a present. Marz : Uh oh, let me guess, is it gasoline? Kane : Who told you? Was it RVD? Why that bastard I oughta-- Marz : Nah Rob didn't tell me, I figured it out on my own. And that's why I brought you a present too. Kane : OOOHH GOODY! Uh I mean, what is it? Marz : Ta da! Kane : You bought me hungry hungry hippos? Marz : Don't you like it!?!? Kane : Well it wasn't quite what I was expecting-- Marz : Okay now give me my present. Kane : Uh, here's your gasoline.. Marz: Thank you. Marz pours gasoline all over the floor and takes out a match Kane : What are you doing? Marz : Aren't you going to set me on fire? Figured I'd help ya, get ya started Kane : Oh, uh yeah Kane takes the match and throws it on the floor Marz : Well I guess it's time for me to get burned and feel your pain Kane : Are you making fun of me? Marz : Yes. I'm laughing at you Kane, HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! *Kane gets mad and tries to grab Marz* Marz jumps up and takes the towel off Kane's head and throws it in the flame *Kane looks at the towel in the flame and jumps in after it* Marz : Oh jesus, look what he made me do. Security, we need some backup in here. Bring a fire extinguisher hurry. Kane : No it feels kinda good. I think I like it. *Kane begins to sing his favorite song MMMBop* Marz : what the *Security comes and puts out the flames* Kane stands up and put the towel back on his head and looks at Marz Kane : YOU NEED TO FEEL MY PAIN!!!!!!! Marz looks around and points at the tv Marz : LOOK! IT'S BLUE'S CLUES!! Kane stops and turns towards the tv, sits down and Marz begins to leave, but as she was walking out of the building, she heard somebody singing Blue's Clues Blue's Clues BLUE'S CLUES! To be continued... |