I am 5'4", I'm currently on a diet, I weigh 132lbs but hope to be down to 120 in a few weeks. I have blue eyes and a healthy, pale complexion. I naturaly have medium-light brown hair but right now it is dyed a nice blue-black and is down to the middle of my back. I have been dyeing my hair black for about two and a half years now. I currently shave my eyebrows off and have been for a few months, I like the look and rarely draw them back in.
For the most part I dress in what many would call goth. But I don't try to look one way because its cool, or I think someone else will like it, or it will make me fit in. I wear what I like, what pleases me. I only wear what clothing and makeupI can look in the mirror at and say to myself, "How beautiful you are." I do have a deeper message, but every time I have tried to explain it to someone it ends up coming out wrong so I won't even get into that here. Most of my clothing is unique, not the mass produced pre-packaged-ready-to-go-goth-kits sold at Hot Topic, and is either custom made from my favorite designers(myself, Jennine Nitro, Cyberdog, Synth-tec) or is ordered from small(relatively unknown) clothing companys that only make limited quantities. By most I mean the clothing I wear when I'm going out. When I am in Maryville I do try to look a bit more normal, meaning jeans and t-shirts mainly.
I love to wear corsets, dresses, and other feminine clothing the most. Corsetry is a big hobbie/interest/fetish of mine, but sadly I cannot wear a corset to school because of gym so my whole waist reduction plan is pretty much out since it requires I wear one at least 20 hours a day. Not to mention the nightmare it would be doing all those steps in platform boots and a corset, I don't really feel like falling down any steps anytime soon so I'll just keep the corsets at home or when I'm going out. Occasionally I do dress in drag, I will admit it is fun playing a guy even if it is just for a day.
Most people delude themselves into thinking that they don't judge someone on their appearance, on sterotypes; which is actually quite laughable because its natural to do that. It is ingrained into our primal core to look at things and assess them by what we see, to help us decide if there's threat, and what to do about it. So for those people to say that they don't judge on appearance is hallarious. I do judge on appearance, because it does tell you about the person, reguardless of what your sunday school teacher or parents say about don't cjudge a book by its cover or how much that person tries to . I admit to not being tolerant of a person I consider below my standards(I'm talking physical mannerisms and behaviors, not just clothing, this might not be the right way to put it), but those people are the ones who you can instantaneously upon meeting them tell aren't healthy or strong, you know what I mean, poor hygene(a big pet peve of mine), slobenlyness, posture indicating that there might be something wrong with this person internally, general body language indicating shyness, cowardace, or just a person with a bad demeanor. I listen to my instincts a lot and I am very good at reading people, I cannot afford not to be. When I meet a person like that I don't even waste my time on them. These people I openly scorn, but never go out of my way to pick on, I am not a bully, I only want to make it clear to that person I don't like them or want them around me.
On the other hand, I can tell immediately within about the first 10 minutes of meeting a person if I'm going to really get along well with them. People with confidence, things in common(like music, books, ect.), individuality, pride, beauty(physical and mental), someone who has ideas and isn't afraid to make them known and stand up for them, and self respect win my respect easily. But don't think that because I respect a person I trust them, I never trust another person with anything of importance because humans are fallible creatures who simply cannot keep a secret if their life depended on it. I have had many expierences with this and I learned that lesson early and well.
There is nothing wrong with having high standards of beauty and taking pride in yourself, but that's not exactly how I am, It's true I love the way I look, but I also Loathe looking in the mirror because I consider myself flawed. I plan on having extensive plastic surgery to my face and body to attempt to make myself perfect, knowing that I will never be happy, its a vicious cycle, but I don't mind, it gives me something to do I suppose. My ideal of beauty definitly is very different from society's, I have a concept project in mind, but I don't think I'll get into that now, I might post something on it later.
Dark Blessings.