| THINGS TO PONDER What is the speed of dark? Can i get arrested for running into a fire house yelling Movie! Movie!? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? Do ducks with one leg swim in circles? If a chronic liar tells you he's a chronic liar do you believe him? If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money? If you keep trying to prove Murphy's law, will something keep going wrong? Isn't it scary that a doctor's work is called practice? What came first The chicken or the egg? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? WISE SAYINGS / FUNNY SAYINGS A day without sunshine is, you know, Night. If you'll regret it in the morning, sleep late. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesturday! Right now, i think i'm having amnesia and dejavu' at the same time. I think i've forgotten this before. STRESS: that confusion created when the mind must override the body's basic desire to choke the living crap out of some idiot who desperately needs it. I do what the voices in my head tell me to do. Today is the start of a new error. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? The following statement is true. The previous statement is false. There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who make things happen,those who watch things happen, and those who ask what the hell just happened. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say wll be misquoted, then used against you in the court of law. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. Our of my mind. Back in five minutes. Don't piss me off. I'm running out of place to hide the bodies. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands... He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back. I don't need your attitude, i have one of my own. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you. Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks! Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies lives. You laught because i'm different. I laugh becasue you're all the same. What's better? A lie that draws a smile, or the truth that draws a tear? Nobody's perfect... until you fall in love with them. Problems are opportunities in disguise. I smoked pot for a month one night. It's a BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. He's not dead-- He's electroencephalographically challenged. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Lets work smart, not hard. There's no such thing as gravity- the earth just sucks. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Nobody knows the meaning of life because there isn't one. Pessimism is the new optimism. If all else fails, read the directions. Peace. Love. Bullshit. NEXT |