About Angel ~ Poems and Stories ~ What is "Goth"? ~ Links ~Change in a Year
::Poetry, Short Stories, and Crap Like That::
Basically, here are
poems, short stories, and well, anything else that I decided to put
on here. If anyone wants their pictures/stories/poems on here, email them to
me and you shall receive full credit for your work.
Everything is by Angel#9
unless otherwise noted.
::Stories::
::Poems::
Broken Heart
I offered it to you.
You threw
it away.
What more do you want?
What more can I say?
Will my love for you just fade away?
You just don't get it.
You don't understand.
This love I feel for you
is in the palm of your hand.
You
turn toward another,
Your back at my face.
Can you not be happy
with my love and my ways?
You ask for help.
You ask for advice.
But what's the advice worth
since there's tears in my eyes?
What can I tell you?
What can I say?
Since this love I felt so strongly
is now fading away.
Last Day
If today were the last day I had with you,
What would we say?
What would we do?
Would it be just another day with you?
I tell you I love you.
You
say okay.
What do you mean?
This is my last day.
I ask to kiss you.
You say
sure.
I lean over
And put my lips to yours.
The end of the night
I give you a hug
I
say goodbye
You simply shrug.
I cry on my bed
And pick up
the gun
I put the barrel to my head
And pull the trigger.
If today was the last day I had
with you,
What would we say?
What would we do?
Would it be just
another day with you?
Impressions
My love for you is here
Even though
you're not near
You left an impression on my
heart
That you never knew you could start
If you could know how much I
love you
You'd realize that you feel that way, too
It may not be towards me
But
finally you would see
How much your soul means to me
If only you
could be with me
Loneliness
You
left me alone
So I sit here and cry
I'm alone with my knife
Soon
I shall die
You told me you loved me
I
thought it was true
I saw you with that girl
She was all over you
I stood staring
Your eyes
met mine
You started running
But I had already died
I ran home
With tears in my
eyes
I knew what I would do
No matter how many tries
I locked the door
And sat on
my bed
No one can stop me
No matter how many tears shed
I
take my knife
And slit my wrists
I feel the blood draining
This
is my last gift
You break
down the door
And enter my room
You sit next to me
You don't know
of my doom
"You don't know what
happened.
Let me explain"
I only nod
I feel a bit faint
"I was going home.
She
needed a ride.
I stopped at the Sonic
My throat was so dry.
"Next thing I knew
She
had me in back.
Then you walked up.
I wanted you back."
"It's too late."
I
simply say
I show you my wrists
You can only gaze
You
grab a few tissues
And press them on the wounds
You hold me tight
I
feel my life slipping...
The last thing I know
The
last thing I say
"Goodbye, my love."
Then all fades away
I'm in a bright place
The
street glitters gold
I begin to walk forward
Until you grab a hold
I
turn around
To see your face
You're smiling at me
"You're in
this place?"
"What
do you think?"
You ask grinning
"Without you
My life's
not worth living."
You
wrap your arms around me
And give me a kiss
We walk hand in hand
Into
eternal bliss
It was a bad life
With the
perfect death
My love is here with me
This is true happiness
Don't
Deserve This
I don't
deserve this
You give me too much
But isn't that what they call
this?
This thing they call love?
You
say love is giving
You say it is kind
But what have I given?
Other
than some time?
You've
given me presents
You've given me hugs
You've given me kisses
And
shown me your love
I wish I could show you
Just
what that means
I hope I can love you
Just as you have loved me
Secret Love
This love
I feel
It can't be true
I must deny it
I can't love you
I've loved before
It never helped
I
then decided
Love wouldn't be felt
It hurt before
It'll hurt
again
I can't love you
I won't let it begin
But how can I forget
This
way I feel?
It's a part of me
It's not something that will heal
I don't think
You even know
the truth
This love, this lust
I'm feeling in my youth
No, I can't let it
Consume my thoughts
Oh
great. Too late
You're all I know
I see you
From day to day
Wondering
your reaction
If I could only say
This love I'm feeling
I
can't tell you
You wouldn't return it
So why can't I let go?
This love, this secret
Mine
it will remain
Only in my poems
Written in your name
Lonely,
Painful Heart
She sits alone
In her room
Listening to music
And
humming the tune
No one really knows
Of her
pain and sorrow
Everyday she says
"I'll tell them tomorrow"
Sure, she's told
A certain
few
But do they really know
What she's going through?
No, they can't
They don't
live her life
So how can they help her
Through all of her strife?
She stays at home
Almost everyday
Wondering
where she could go
And what she could say
She seems so quiet
But in
her heart
She's yelling, screaming
Falling apart
No one will know
Because she
won't say
Of the pain in her heart
That grows everyday
Understanding
I may be weak
But so are you
I'm
just wondering
What you're going through
No, I won't understand
How
can I?
All I can promise
Is that I shall try
Why are you sad?
I don't know
either
Maybe I'm lonely...
But this isn't about me
Please tell me
I want to help
But
how can I help you
If you refuse to tell?
Don't say that
That's not a solution
Taking
your life
Causes more confusion
Those who love you
Will
wonder "Why?"
Others will say
"He didn't have to die"
Sure, it's your choice
To
live or not
But what of the friends
Whom you haven't thought
They will grieve
Just for
you
You don't want that
I know you
Attention from sympathy
It's
nothing great
You just make people worry
And wonder your fate
So why do it?
Why take your
life?
I know you don't want
To cause others strife
Tell me what's wrong
Please
just say it!
You don't understand
I'll worry until I know
You still won't tell me
You
leave me to wonder
But I'll be here
No matter what you go under
Austin
I stand looking out the bedroom window
The
view is amazing
But where can I go?
This isn't my house
This
isn't my town
It's only my life I've lost control of
Everyone's
downstairs laughing and talking
I'm up here alone
Staring, crying
Why? I miss
him
Why do I miss him? I love him
But love's only for the person in the mirror
I
want my life to be here where I am
I'll be in control then
But when will it begin?
I love my true home
I love my boy there
Life will never work out like I want it
I
look up to the stars maybe for an answer
We're all under the same sky
With the silent moon
dancer
I stare at it
Wonder if he sees the same one
There's no way for me or anyone else to know
I
want to be home to see the boy
Too bad I'm stuck here
Can only play with a toy
Make it spin
Around and around
Trying too carefully not to drop it on the floor
Tire
of it, put the toy near the bed
Can't think much
He's the only thought in my head
Back to the window
Back to my sorrow
The moon dancer remains to continue its show
The
celestial body, a star in the heavens
Shines so brightly
Maybe for him
Will he see it?
Probably not tonight
But somewhere in his lifetime he will
Never
Give up Hope
I cannot tell
If I am hot or cold
You're making me nervous
My thoughts I cannot hold
Tears are almost
falling
I'm not quite sure why
Your encouragements are charming
But they won't get me by
You
say it could be worse
But I wouldn't really know
When all I've lived is my life
It's all I have to show
To
think I may not be
When you wake up tomorrow
People think it will not happen
To those they love and know
Of
death I do not worry
So why am I depressed
I love your silly comments
But right now I'm too distressed
Never
give up on hope
Today's over in the morning
I hope to be there
To see your eyes glowing
Never
Love
Kiss me once and never forget
I'll never love like I once did
Because of what I've done to myself
I'll
never know this love that you've felt
I merely repeat those three simple words
Because
if I don't, how much will you hurt?
I can't see you sad; no, please don't cry
If
tears fall from your eyes, I'd wish that I'd die
I may hurt myself but it's not your fault
I
hate myself and the lies that I've brought
Don't worry about me, I'll never be alright
I
can't stand to see you worry about my life
Do I really know how much your love's worth?
I'm
not really sure, but I'm willing to learn
I'm not sure if I love, but I know that I care
I
just hope when I need you, you'll be there
Angel
Wings
Angel wings just aren't enough
To keep me world from falling
Falling
down, down past the ground
My own sins seem appalling
How many am I dragging down
Who've
tried to pull me up?
Their lives I've wasted even though
I love them very much
Why can't they see
that without me
Their live would be so much better
That I'm the one that drags them down
As
a rock caught on a feather
I
know my life's not worth the tears
Shed by ones I love
They just can't seem to understand
There's
no feeling in my hug
Do
I really know what love is
Or am I just pretending?
Am I hurting the one I want
Or
is he really smiling?
They think I really
understand
When I listen to their problems
But I don't know; my own life I watch
As
everything just seems to happen
Control is something
I cease to own
No matter what I do
I watch as every day goes by
Every
afternoon
Separated
This
lonely feeling
I'm not sure if I can bear
How badly I am wanting
To run my fingers
through your hair
To touch your gentle lips
To taste your delicate skin
To be held in your arms
And
know you from within
These miles that separate us
Cannot keep our love apart
I
know because of this
And because I feel your heart
I know you think of me
As
I still think of you
Your love goes through my mind
As I live each afternoon
How
bad I want to see you
And to hear your charming voice
I want to be held in your arms
But
more, I want a choice
To call you up and simply say
"Hello my love. How's your day?"
Or
maybe to just drop on by
To give you a kiss and a wish goodnight
Away
I
know that tomorrow
I'll be long gone
So I have to see your face
Before the break
of
dawn
I
need another memory
Of us alone
You and me
I'm feeling more
desperately
The need to be with you
I can't believe I'm going away
So
far from you by afternoon
This night won't last
very long for me
Can't leave your arms
Why does this have to be?
We'll be apart
So far from home
To
you my thoughts
Shall always roam
One more hour with
you I need
Don't let this be
Another silly dream
Alone
The darkness seems unending
I feel the darkness closing in
The ground seems so far away
The late nights that I waited up
Wondering who you were really with
Now I know why you were out
Pack your bags and leave this room
Might listen to Evanescence
Or rather Stabbing Westward
Disturbed may be your choice
Why won't he talk to me?
Hours I used to wait
Why won't he talk to me?
Boy, why won't you talk to me?
I
stand here in
A crowded room
But still
I'm feeling so alone
Your face I've missed
For many a day
And how you kiss me
That certain way
Others have said
It won't last long
Our love still lasts
We're proving them wrong
But how can I love you
From so far away
The distance is maddening
From day after day
I seem to be waiting
For you to return
With glasses of wine
Yet this feeling still burns
Everyone says they're sorry
And it couldn't be helped
But that is not stopping
This way I have felt
I can live without you
But I'd rather not
The gun's hidden away
In a drawer with a lock
They key was thrown out
Soon after I got the news
Of how the truck had hit
And you got much more than a bruise
Three days of agony
As you lay in a room
I must sit outside
Thinking about your doom
Here I'm still thinking
As people enter our house
Saying they're sorry
With whispers like a mouse
A burial follows
Later that day
Everyone says
What a bad way
The headstone reads
'Loving Husband
and Loving Father
With three children'
I don't understand
How could you leave me like this?!
I turn off the light
With a slight hiss
I climb into bed
And pull up the covers
I'll spend each night alone
For the rest of my life
Burned
Why can't I
seem to care anymore
About how others feel?
All I seem to notice
Is
that my arms won't heal
I watch as they sit there crying
Over something that I've done
Maybe
it was what I said
Or what I haven't done
My heart just seems so empty
That I don't know what to do
I'll close the door to be alone
Light a candle in my room
A needle is pulled from
the shelf
It's dull tip covered with black
The black turned red within the flame
A I sit with a straight back
My fingers burning is tolerable
No reason to be afraid
As the needle burned into my skin
All feelings melt away
This is my stress reliever
I face insanity without it
Death is not my with
When one is teaching me to care
Voices
These voices that surround me
Won't seem to go away
I hear them when I try to sleep
And sometimes in the day
One laughs at me
Another calls my name
Still others whisper to me
Remembering my shame
Their silence makes me wonder
Where on earth they've gone
But I know they will return
Before very long
Nothing
As I look into the distance
Nothing can be found
Not a cloud, a tree, as horse, nor mouse
Not even a silent sound
As I turn round and round
I can only see the stars up high
And feel the grass on the ground
As my heart begins to pound
This nothing gets into my head
While I fall down, down
My eyes seem almost blind
Sleep comes swiftly in the grass
Awake, rocks I'll find
Over
The love that I thought was true
Has now turned over
I said "It's through"
Were just too much
I've had enough
Gave me headaches
Made me stiff
I won't fuss
Won't scream or shout
Don't want to see you
After noon
Music
Music is another way out
When all seems way too much
Nothing else helps at all
Not even a lover's touch
Hear "Wake me up inside"
Lose yourself within the notes
The only place to hide
"Everything I touch"
Ignore the speech of others
Who are telling you to hush
"Burn me alive inside"
Moods with music can be changed
As the turning of the tide
Everything Ends
There's that boy
Sitting back there
He's so gorgeous
I can only stare
We used to be best friends
I guess that at some point in time
Everything ends
Just to be heard
He's the one I'd wait for
He'd listen to my words
Years ago that seems
And true, it almost is
But here I see him everyday
Part of my heart is always his
We used to be best friends
I guess that at some point in time
Everything ends
We used to be best friends
My heart you knew you could have had
Grasped within your hands
Why won't you talk to me?
We used to be best friends
I guess that at some point in time
Everything ends
Everything ends...