ok, so here is my list.................
1. Knock stuff over from a distance and blame it on the dog!
2. Knock stuff over from a distance and blame it on sibling!
3. You can hit people from a distance with VERY little effort! Sumthin bout the way they are made............ *shrug* I dunno! They swing REALLY well though!
4. For some odd reason, people find you somewhat meanicing when your face turns red while you are hold one in your hand.
5. Can turn the T.V off without leaving the couch.
6. You can use them as Or's while in your boat. *note* They should only be used as such if your original set of Or's have been eatin by crazed hungry sharks! DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME! You have no idea how often that happens here on the main land! *snicker*
7. you can not, I repeat, CAN NOT walk on ice while using them! *grumble* Fracture the other foot you will!
8. Brother tends to avoid you like the plague! *sigh* I didn't hit him THAT hard with them!
9. Father tends to hang out with the brother, and offers to fluff your foot pillow every now and then. *mumble* I still stand by my theory that he FELL into them at a high vilocity!
10. When people see you walking with them, they move. Weither this is because they feel sorry for you, or your reputation proceeds you and they are scared because you are wielding potentially dangerouse weapons in your hands, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!.
11. Walking with them is only hard if you have no previouse experience with them! K........ that one is wrong! It's hard even if you spent almost a month in half on them before!
12. No matter how hard you try, you will have to put pressure on the offending foot every now and then!
13. It is possible to wack yourself in the face with them! When this happens, try not to look too suprised and shake it off. If so called friends and family and or strangers continue to laugh at you for doing so, please reffer to #3!
14. They get caught on EVERYTHING!
15. It only seems like a great distance when you fall while using them! *note* Do try to get them out from under your arms while you are falling. If not, prepare for MAJOR ouchies!
16. They should ALWAYS be used as a PAIR!
17. The littles rubber thingies at the bottom are NOT toys!
18. Poeple will call you "Hobbles", "Four Foot", and "Gimp"! *cough* #3!
19. They should NEVER be used as a door jam! *mumble* They are somewhat unrealiable for that use!
And Finally..................
20. DON'T LEAVE THEM LAY WHERE THEY CAN BE TRIPPED OVER! You shall never hear the end for this offense! Jeez, it's not like you left them in a certian area, in that one specific spot, where you KNEW your father would be treading in the dark! *evil grin* Ok, so perhaps you did!
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LOL! K, maybe I should lay off the pain pills! LOL!
This is not the first derranged thing to come out of my boredom or complete lack of sanity! One time I wrote a whole essay on wethier or not the man who wrote "This Old Man" knew that one day the term 'Knick knack patty whack give a dog a bone' would be used in a dirty and offensive way by all preadolescent boys everywhere! *strokes chin* Makes you think though........................