Session Four
6/17/02
The Uber Chat
Sooooo Much typing... I think we're gona die or something.... Click back if you wanna go back... I'm too freacking lazy to make a link right now
jakefunc: LIKE A VIRGIN jakefunc: FOR THE VERY FIRST TIMMMMMMEEEEE!!! Sax the Walker: hello WarJake jakefunc: no jakefunc: WAjake Sax the Walker: oh i see jakefunc: WARIO jakefunc: WALUIGI jakefunc: WAJAKE jakefunc: WASAX Sax the Walker: WHAT THE FUCKINGSJKASJFSAGJK I ONT WANAN HEAR YOUR POOCRAP jakefunc: WAERK Sax the Walker: *begins to spasm* jakefunc: WAHAMMEL jakefunc: WARAY jakefunc: WABOBBY jakefunc: WATIM Sax the Walker: *twitch twitch more spasm* jakefunc: you know jakefunc: WAANALSEXFIEND Sax the Walker: what? anal electrocution? jakefunc: WACHILDPORNOGRAPER jakefunc: WAPROCTOLOGIST jakefunc: WADOUSCHE jakefunc: WAPENIS jakefunc: WAASS Sax the Walker: WAWAWAWAJESAJGTAHHGWWaAWAWAWwawahlkjehWAHJWAWAW jakefunc: mmmm jakefunc: mmmmm jakefunc: wheaties jakefunc: and getting up for work tomorrow Sax the Walker: FUN FUN jakefunc: at 9:30 jakefunc: I built a functional 5-color jakefunc: and it's Type II!!! jakefunc: 10x Forest jakefunc: 2x Plains jakefunc: 2x Mountain jakefunc: 1x Swamp jakefunc: 1x Island jakefunc: 1x Mossfire Valley jakefunc: 1x Shivan Oasis jakefunc: 1x Brushland jakefunc: 1x Elfhame Palace Sax the Walker: does this have any relation to the shitarific 5 color deck you used earlyer? jakefunc: 1x Yavamya Coast jakefunc: yes jakefunc: 1x City of Brass jakefunc: er... jakefunc: let's see here... jakefunc: 4x Harrow jakefunc: 2x Quiron Elves jakefunc: 2x Harvest Druid (Tap: add one mana any color your lands could make) jakefunc: 2x Urborg Elf jakefunc: 4x Quiron Trailblazer jakefunc: hmmmm jakefunc: 2x Dromar jakefunc: 2x Treva jakefunc: 1x Crosis jakefunc: 1x Molamo Sax the Walker: *splurt splurt splurt* jakefunc: 2x Sabertooth Niashoba jakefunc: 3x Enchantment Mutation jakefunc: 3x artifact Mutation jakefunc: 2x Aether Mutation jakefunc: 2x Death Mutation jakefunc: 1x Legacy weapon jakefunc: hmmm jakefunc: there's more... jakefunc: 1x Akadar Wastes jakefunc: 4x Global Ruin jakefunc: and jakefunc: two more freaking cards Sax the Walker: wow... amazing jakefunc: I wonder what they are.... jakefunc: TRUE jakefunc: IT ACTUALLY WORKS jakefunc: IT'LL BEAT YOUR SKANK ASS jakefunc: :-D jakefunc: LET'S GO MOFUCKA jakefunc: RIGH NOWQ!!!! Sax the Walker: such anger, such rage jakefunc: what could that card be jakefunc: 23x land Sax the Walker: *********-----------sdgsdgfsekgngsdgkgsdgthischathasbeenrecordedviagothomeincorperatedhndsklhgxflgdfjghd-----------********* jakefunc: 35x crap right now jakefunc: oh dammit jakefunc: there aren't any missing cards jakefunc: dammit dammit dammit jakefunc: DAMN YOU SaX jakefunc: YOU AND YOUR NAYSAYING Sax the Walker: :-D jakefunc: YOU FUCKING CREATE SOMETHING ORIGINAL jakefunc: YOU FUCKING jakefunc: FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCKER jakefunc: FUCK YOU!!! Sax the Walker: :-DO:-) jakefunc: GO SIT IN YOUR TOWER!! jakefunc: ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? jakefunc: WHATS TO FUCKING LAUGH ABOUT? jakefunc: FUCKING jakefunc: FUCK FUCKER Sax the Walker: um... if i say yes will it make you more enraged? jakefunc: COCK ASS!!! jakefunc: no taht's it jakefunc: I'm spent Sax the Walker: lol jakefunc: phhhht jakefunc: wer wong... jakefunc: WOO Woo Sax the Walker: so hows funchome? jakefunc: WOO WOO WOO-WOO WOOOOOO jakefunc: WOIOOO\ jakefunc: WELL jakefunc: why don't you go look jakefunc: ASDS jakefunc: er jakefunc: GO GET AIDS SAX Sax the Walker: I WILL I WILL jakefunc: okay] jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUH FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCKING FUNCHOME Sax the Walker: OH GOD HE'S GONA POP!!!! jakefunc: good old family fun Sax the Walker: dont forget to include anal electocution in funchome jake jakefunc: oh yes jakefunc: er jakefunc: OJ YES!! Sax the Walker: gjrti5tik7jtybfhvbn jakefunc: okay Sax the Walker: go to gothome................. NOW! jakefunc: okay' Sax the Walker: NOW BITCH NOW Sax the Walker: NWOWOWNWOWNOWNOWNOWONWONWONWONOWNOWNNOWONWONWONWONWONWONWNOWNOWNOW Sax the Walker: *plurp* jakefunc: umh jakefunc: I don't remember that Sax the Walker: what jakefunc: Zidane2003FFIX: DIRTY DEEDS DONE WITH SHEEP! jakefunc: GO GET AIDS SAX jakefunc: I said Sax the Walker: i changed the original that you put up Sax the Walker: err jakefunc: "GO GET AIDS *real name edited out*!!" Sax the Walker: that you said Sax the Walker: i must remain shrouded in mystery! jakefunc: OH WELL LA DEE DA jakefunc: sure Sax the Walker: LOOK AT ME DANCE JAKE jakefunc: WHERE"S THAT AT Sax the Walker: LOOOOOKK ATTT ME jakefunc: okay jakefunc: sounds good Sax the Walker: *begins to dance like a small monkey* jakefunc: yay Sax the Walker: *begins to throw small kernals of popcorn at you* jakefunc: I GONNA RIP YOUR TINY PANCREAS OUT Sax the Walker: *pulls out a large kitchen knife and assults you, stabing at your neck multiple times* jakefunc: AFTER I MUTILATE YOUR BODY Sax the Walker: OJ MAN OJ MAN Sax the Walker: MUTILATE TESTICLES PLEASE jakefunc: *reveals to travis that he is stabbing a hologram, as jake fingers travis's curly ears* Sax the Walker: TESTI TESTI TESTI TESTI TESTI TESTI ETIEITEISTEESSITISETISEISITSITEITSIEITSITEISTSIETISIETISTISEITIITISEITSEISTEISETITIEITSIETSITSISITSETISTISTISTITSISTESTEISTEISTEISISTEITSEISTEISTEIESTIESTITEISETISEITSEITISEITSEITISIETISEITISEITSIETISITISEITSITIS jakefunc: OLAY Sax the Walker: *inset lots of spasming and spurting of blood* Sax the Walker: pageloadberpooo faceshitbrick is rtakingroowrongtooload jakefunc: does fingering your ears make them shoot blood? Sax the Walker: *dies* jakefunc: well then jakefunc: you should probably post this conversation jakefunc: mmmm jakefunc: mmmm jakefunc: tasty sax ears Sax the Walker: GOTHLAND ADVENTURE TWO jakefunc: the what jakefunc: stop stealing funchome shit jakefunc: OR YOU'LL PLEAD BADLY TO hAVE YOUR THEIGHS BACK Sax the Walker: I WANT MY THIGHS jakefunc: THEY'LL BE ON MY WALL FOR NOW Sax the Walker: *((new names always welcome))* *((need a place to store my bloodpackets)) jakefunc: what? jakefunc: the jakefunc: fuck jakefunc: are jakefunc: you talking about jakefunc: I'M LOST Sax the Walker: *begins to cry blood* jakefunc: Narrator: jakeFuNC becomes lost in the dark as Sax wanders blindly to find his next thigh apprehending victim jakefunc: Jake: THE WHAT? Sax the Walker: OH GOD WHY MUST I BE SO SOMETHINGTHIOGOGJHG jakefunc: Narrator: That's right jakefunc: Narrator: Thigh apprehending victim. jakefunc: Jake: Wait wait. What does that mean? Sax the Walker: YOUR THIGH WILL BE MINE BIATCH! jakefunc: Narrator: Sigh. You took Sax's thighs because he was infringing on FuNChome products and he needs thighs so he's going to find some jakefunc: Jake: Oh. Okay, jakefunc: Narrator: Oh, and he's right behind you... jakefunc: Jake: AHHHHHH! Sax the Walker: *grabs a thight* Sax the Walker: MSAEHUOESGBJKAGBHJGEBGUIGGUSUEOFYI jakefunc: Sax: AHHHHH! jakefunc: JAKE: AHHHHH! jakefunc: SAX: AHHHHH! jakefunc: NARRATOR: AHHHHH! jakefunc: Jake: RUN AWAY jakefunc: Sax: Which way? jakefunc: Narrator: AHHHHH! Sax the Walker: *picks a direction and runs* jakefunc: Sax: Why are you yelling...? jakefunc: Narrator: Jake finds himself many inches away from Sax. jakefunc: Jake: Few. That was tough with only one thiegh jakefunc: Sax: You think that was tough? I've been walking around with no thighs jakefunc: Jake: well you seem to be okay... jakefunc: Sax: Yeah. ..... wait...YOU HAVE MY THIGHS jakefunc: MUUUAWH jakefunc: Jake: AHHHHHHH! jakefunc: Music: HE'S A MANIAC jakefunc: MANIAC jakefunc: LOOKING FOR THIGHS jakefunc: AND HE'S GONNA EAT SOME FLESH NEXT WEEEEEKKK! Sax the Walker: I NEED A BABY TO EAT jakefunc: HE'S A MANIAC jakefunc: MANIAC jakefunc: THAT'S RIGHT CRACKERRRRRR jakefunc: AND JAKE IS GOING TO BLOW A LOAD jakefunc: IN FEEEARRRRRRR! jakefunc: Jake: MANIAC jakefunc: MANIAC jakefunc: hey where's the tunes go jakefunc: Sax: I ate them. jakefunc: Jake: AHHHHH! jakefunc: Sax: Just like a baby.... Sax the Walker: GET IN MAH BELLY YOU FUCKING PEICE OF CRAP Sax the Walker: *beats shit out of nearby woman and steals unborn fetus* jakefunc: Narrator: Too bad Jake's really drowsy, and doesn't want to type, so we'll just say Sax wins alot of money and eats many many babies... jakefunc: ^_^\ Sax the Walker: YAY IM HAPPY NOW Sax the Walker: I THINK I WILL GO INSULT LITTLE CHILDREN jakefunc: NEXT WEEK Sax the Walker: NO NEXT WEEK FOOL jakefunc: SAX INSULTS LITTLE CHILDREN Sax the Walker: I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP Sax the Walker: THEN YOU WILL SEE NO NEW WEKK jakefunc: Sax: HEYYYYYYY FATTIE FATTIE Sax the Walker: I WILL KILL YOU BATCH jakefunc: YOUR REALLLLLLL TASTY jakefunc: TASTY TASTY TASTY Sax the Walker: KILL KILL AND DRINK YOUR BLOOD WITH LITTLE CHILDREN jakefunc: Child: Mommy, what's that man doing? Sax the Walker: MOMMY MAKE HIM DIE jakefunc: Mom: Nothing. We're leaving right now/ Sax the Walker: I WILL MAKE YOU DIE MADE MANE CHILD Sax the Walker: die MOTHERFUCKER jakefunc: Sax: NO YOU AREN'T jakefunc: Mom: YES, I AM. jakefunc: Sax: Fine. Leave then. jakefunc: Mom: I will. jakefunc: Sax: Good jakefunc: Mom: Good. jakefunc: Sax: Too bad I ate little Bobby in all the commotion jakefunc: Mom: WhAT? jakefunc: (looks down, sees little skeleton) jakefunc: Mom: YOU BASTARD jakefunc: Sax: I wouldn't go as far as saying that.... Sax the Walker: :-D jakefunc: theme song: jakefunc: WHen HE GETS DOWN HE LIKES TO EAT THE BABIES jakefunc: SO YOU BETTER HIDE THEM jakefunc: BEFORE HE EATS YOUR BABIES jakefunc: AND DON'T SHOVE'M IN THAT WALL WITH THE jakefunc: TUBE jakefunc: CAUSE' HE'S JUST SITTIN AT THE END WITH A sTRAW jakefunc: DOO DOO DoO jakefunc: DAH DAH DAHHH! jakefunc: SITTIN AT THE END jakefunc: WITH A STraW!!! jakefunc: DOO DOO DOO jakefunc: LAHHHHH DEE DAHHHHH jakefunc: SITTIN AT THEN END jakefunc: WITH A STRAW Sax the Walker: what jakefunc: Copyright 2002 FuNChome Incorporated jakefunc: :-D jakefunc: it's freaking hilarious Sax the Walker: indeed Sax the Walker: BUT WAIT Sax the Walker: ITS STILL GOING Sax the Walker: OH GOD jakefunc: HOLY SHIT jakefunc: ON CORE jakefunc: WHEN HE EaTS YOUR BABIES jakefunc: THEY GO THROUGH A GRINDER FIRST jakefunc: SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CHEW jakefunc: JUST SWALLOW jakefunc: Everyone: SWALLOW!! jakefunc: AND WHEN HE GETS DONE jakefunc: EATIN THE BABIES jakefunc: HE'LL GO TO YOUR HOUSE jakefunc: AND KNOCK ON YO DOOE jakefunc: R jakefunc: AND SAY: Sax the Walker: I WILL KNOCK ON YOUR DOODLE BATCHES jakefunc: Howdy Ma'm. I just ate yo baby. jakefunc: AND THEN HE'LL SLAM THE DOOR IN YOUR jakefunc: MAKE YO LIFE, NOTHIN BUT DISGRACE jakefunc: SO DON'T SHOVE YO BABY IN THE wALL WITH THE TUBE jakefunc: CAUSE HE"S SITTIN AT THE END jakefunc: WITH A STraW Sax the Walker: i think this is turning into a monofunclog jakefunc: DOO DOO DoO jakefunc: DAH DAH DAHHH! jakefunc: SITTIN AT THE END jakefunc: WITH A STraW!!! jakefunc: DOO DOO DOO jakefunc: LAHHHHH DEE DAHHHHH jakefunc: SITTIN AT THEN END jakefunc: WITH A STRAW jakefunc: Copyright 2002 FuNChome Incorporated Sax the Walker: and it continues, with all the fury that jake has jakefunc: what jakefunc: jeebus Sax the Walker: yessire jakefunc: I believe I've had enough Sax the Walker: your still going now lol jakefunc: well fuck my ass.... Sax the Walker: wheres erk jakefunc: FUCK MY ASS jakefunc: FUCK MY ASS jakefunc: THAT FUCKIN PERVE Sax the Walker: ERK WHERE ARE YOU??? YOUR MAN NEEDS YOU jakefunc: JUST AT MY FUCKIN BABY jakefunc: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD jakefunc: I'LL KILL HIS FUCKING ASS jakefunc: BUT ONLY FUCKING AFTER jakefunc: I EAT THIS FUCKING FOOD jakefunc: THE FUCKING LABEL SAYS: Sax the Walker: *insert backup singers* Sax the Walker: the label says jakefunc: SAX'S FUCKING PROCESSED MEATS jakefunc: I WONDER FUCKING WHAT Sax the Walker: meats....meats...meats jakefunc: THAT COULD FUCKING BE Sax the Walker: hey watch it now jakefunc: CAUSE FUCKING SAX Sax the Walker: sax! jakefunc: IS THE FUCKER WHO ATE MA BABY Sax the Walker: yo baby jakefunc: SO WHAT FUCKING IF Sax the Walker: what if jakefunc: I JUST ATE MY CHILD Sax the Walker: eat yo child??? jakefunc: THAT'S FUCKING DIGUSTING Sax the Walker: eeewwwww jakefunc: I THINK I'LL FUCKING IGNORE IT Sax the Walker: yes indeed jakefunc: AND I'LL JUST FUCKING GO ON Sax the Walker: we can dig it jakefunc: AND TRY TO KILL THAT FUCKING SAX Sax the Walker: die sax die Sax the Walker: err Sax the Walker: wait.... Sax the Walker: SHIT! jakefunc: BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE HIM Sax the Walker: I LOVE YOU TOO JAKE OH SO MUCH Sax the Walker: YOUR MY SOULMATE jakefunc: FUCKING ALOT Sax the Walker: I WANT YOU TO BE MY BRIDE jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCKKk Sax the Walker: MARRY ME JAKE MARRY ME jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCKKK jakefunc: SAX EATS DEM BABIES " jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCKkkk Sax the Walker: I WANT YOU TO BE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: I DON' T CARE jakefunc: I'LL JUST KEEP FUCKIN TYPIN Sax the Walker: GIVE BIRTH TO OUR GROINY LOVE CHILD JAKE jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK Sax the Walker: HE WILL BE A FuNC VAMPIRE jakefunc: FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCL jakefunc: J jakefunc: k Sax the Walker: we will call him josh Sax the Walker: josh the FuNC Vampirew jakefunc: FuNC DON NEED no FUCKING VAMPIRE Sax the Walker: then we will give him a brother Sax the Walker: wajosh the FuNC Vampire jakefunc: FuNC DON NEED no FUCKING bro jakefunc: FUNC DON NEED nO BABY WITH SAX Sax the Walker: josh and wajosh will be very happy in out Funckytown jakefunc: CAUSE FuNC ALLREADY FUCKING GOT Sax the Walker: oh yes jake, we will be so happy togeth jakefunc: ERK ALL FUCKING FUCKY jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK Sax the Walker: im so glad you wante me to marry you jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: FUCK FUCK FUCK jakefunc: DON NEED NO FUCKING MARRIAGE jakefunc: JUST FUCKING BED Sax the Walker: maybe we can have a little girl too Sax the Walker: wouldnt that be nice? jakefunc: BUT CAN FUCK WITH YOU (sax) jakefunc: CAUSE I'M FUCKING ERK jakefunc: ALLREADY Sax the Walker: oh thats ok jake, so long as we're happy jakefunc: THERe"S NO FUCKING HAPPY Sax the Walker: thats all that matters Sax the Walker: that we're happy jakefunc: WHEN I GOT 2 FUCKING BITCHES jakefunc: BITCHIN AT FUCKING FuNC jakefunc: BITCH AT FUCKING FuNC Sax the Walker: oh jake your so silly jakefunc: SILLY MY fUCKING ASS jakefunc: SILLY MOTHER FUCKER jakefunc: AIN NO FUCKING CHILD Sax the Walker: come on to bed now lover, we need to make our many many rabbit like children jakefunc: BETWEEN FUCKING YOU AN ME jakefunc: GO FUCK A RABBIT YOURSELF jakefunc: SEE WHAT FUCKIn COMES OUT Sax the Walker: but jake.... tonight was supposed to be a threesome jakefunc: WHAT THE FUCK Sax the Walker: me you and the neighbor rabbit jakefunc: DIDn MAKE NO FUCKING PROMISES Sax the Walker: yes you did jakefunc: YOU MAKING FUCKIN LIES Sax the Walker: you said you would love to do it Sax the Walker: maybe even include erk to make it a foursome jakefunc: DON FUCK WITH MY FUCKIN BRAIN jakefunc: ME AN FUCKING ERK Sax the Walker: but huny, i want you now jakefunc: ARE OUR OWN FUCKIN ITEM jakefunc: YOU AN FUCKING YOURSELD f jakefunc: CAN FUCKING jakefunc: WHATEVER Sax the Walker: jake, your getting too excitied, your not making sense jakefunc: I'M GETTIng FUCKING dROWSY Sax the Walker: then come to bed jakefunc: FROM ALL YOUR FUCKING TYPING ' jakefunc: FUCK NO BITCH jakefunc: CAN'T FUCKIN HAVE ME Sax the Walker: your the one thats typing love jakefunc: NUNH FUCKING UNH jakefunc: NO FUCKING FuNC jakefunc: FOR FUCKING FUCkER LIKE YOU jakefunc: WHaT The FUCK Sax the Walker: i love you jake jakefunc: I'lL BE LEAVIGN Sax the Walker: take care lover jakefunc: BUT NOT AFTER I COPy/PASTE THIS WHOLE BIZzNATCH jakefunc: fucker Sax the Walker: please come to be darling jakefunc: okay jakefunc: I think that's enought jakefunc: enought jakefunc: enough Sax the Walker: no jake, do it harder jakefunc: I'm starting to get grossed out Sax the Walker: lol jakefunc: NO Sax the Walker: you started it jakefunc: NO LEAUGHT iNG jakefunc: BULLSHTI Sax the Walker: lol jakefunc: dammit Sax the Walker: lauph lauph lauph jakefunc: huh jakefunc: looojs like i'll be going now jakefunc: unless you have somthing important to talk about jakefunc: or something jakefunc: kiek Sax the Walker: uh... no jakefunc: like that jakefunc: no what jakefunc: okay Sax the Walker: NO SIR! jakefunc: I guess I'll be leaving real soon jakefunc: later sax Sax the Walker: YEAH Sax the Walker: RIGHT Sax the Walker: ASS Sax the Walker: AS Sax the Walker: ASAA jakefunc: FINE FINE jakefunc: FINE jakefunc: I'LL GO SIT IN MY TOWER jakefunc: BUT I'lL LEAVE A SPECIAL MESSAGE jakefunc: no probably not.... Sax the Walker: I THINK I WILL jakefunc: late jakefunc: r Sax the Walker: OR SOMETHING jakefunc: sax jakefunc: I NEED TO SLEPEPPEEPE@@!!!!! jakefunc: Sleep Sax the Walker: then go Sax the Walker: FLY LITTLE BIRDY FLY jakefunc: FLY LIKE I"VE NEVER FLOWN BEFORE jakefunc: Oooh this is nice... jakefunc: hey Sax the Walker: THATS RIGHT BITCH! GET OUTA MY FACE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS jakefunc: I'm not flying jakefunc: I'M FALLING jakefunc: AHHHHHHHH!HHHHHHHHHHH!hhhhhh..... *plop* jakefunc: :-[ jakefunc: later sax Sax the Walker: bye jakefunc signed off at 2:28:59 AM.
Oh God I think theres More...