History 101:Lawful History
This collection includes recollections from the past of our faculty that includes the Law in some way or another. By posting these accounts of our personal history, we are no way responsible for your personal outcome shall you attempt to recreate any of the accounts. Matter of fact, we don't recommend that you even try it. Allow me to quote my mom, "If you are stupid enough to get caught, don't call me for bail!" The fact that I am almost 26 and still can't call my mom for bail money is a scary thing.
December '92
Our first "brush" with the law. Of course, we had to wait until we were no longer minors before we would do anything like this. Explain the logic in that one.
Jen "the great" and I were involved in a practical joke war between some friends, as we were driving around late one nite/morning, we found a shopping cart sitting by the side of the road. As a joke, I suggested that we steal it. She was out of my car before I could even slow down. Next thing I know, she is trying to fit a shopping cart inside my car. Thankfully it would not fit, so I thought we were safe. That is until she made me drive to another place to find another one that would fit. We went to two other stores until we found one. It almost did fit inside the car, but not quite. I had a ski rack on the trunk of my car, and with Jen's imagination she made it fit there. To help "conceal" it, we put a white bed sheet over it and began driving without lights to our destination. As we turned a corner, it fell off with a bang. So we had to put it back. Finally we arrived at our friend's house. Jen fell of the car while trying to take it off the ski rack, it was at this point that our father's friend started to watch us, unkown to us. We attempted to carry the cart up a set of concrete stairs quietly, the quiet part was not accomplished very well. But we did make it up and left the cart in the front yard as a holiday present. And in all that we won the war! :)
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March '95 (or was it '96?)
My dear friend Jena took me to a wonderful and interesting party. It was one of those "fuck the landlord for not giving me back my deposit" moving parties. You were looked highly upon if you added to the hole on the staircase on your way to the bathroom. Sometime in the middle of the party, a few people left and returned with a table, chairs and even the umbrella from the olive garden. To this day, am unsure exactly how they got it, but the restuarant was still open when they returned. Soon after that, everyone moved outside for the "bonfire" part of the party. It included setting fire to a recliner chair in the front yard. People were dancing around it partially naked and chanting, with the cheering section being the olive garden table. I must say though, the chair gave off some beautiful flames. As we watched this glorious sight, the thought came to mind, when will the proper authorities show up? For we are in a neighborhood not far from a busy street, where the flames were surely visible. After the fire was out and there was nothing left to the chair, may it rest in peace, we retreated inside thinking that perhaps our little incident went unnoticed. That was a very uncorrect assumption, for only five minutes later we heard sirens. Again for reasons unknown, we ran. Hiking my velvet skirt up to my knees, I jumped fences and climbed walls following the rest of the party laughing as we ran. When we finally stopped, I asked the important question of the day, "why the hell did we run from the fire department???"
(photo credits: jena)
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October '98
After accepting a job in California, I needed to send my fingerprints out. I made my appiontment at the local police station to get this done. The day I arrived, I had been sick for the past few days and especially that morning, but didn't have a choice, I needed to get it done as soon as possible. So feeling like absolute shit, I went in. As the police woman was fingerprinting me, I started to feel dizzy and had to sit down. This was a premenition of things to come that I just didn't pay attention to. After the feeling passed, we continued. A few minutes later dizziness struck again. I turned and aimed for the chair only to completely miss it, hit the wall and fall flat on the floor. When I woke up I put my hands up to my face (which is a common reaction to passing out) only to hear, "You have ink on your hands!" which made me start laughing. As I opened my eyes, I saw that I was surrounded by paramedics. They tried to convince me to take me to the hospital. I explained that I had been sick, and it wasn't a problem, I was okay. But they wouldn't let me drive home. So I called my mom, who wasn't able to pick me up because the car was in the shop. Thankfully a policeman was able to take me home. Imagine the neighbor's reaction, a policeman bringing me home at 9am in a patrol car with ink all over my fingers and face. I was sure it was quite a sight when I saw my mom at the back door laughing her ass off.
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Springish '92
While driving after the rain in a parking lot, another car entered the parking lot without seeing me. I tried to avoid the accident, but it just didn't happen. So next thing I know, I am sitting in the back seat of a cop car with the driver of the other car giving all the information for the accident. The cop was a man in his mid 20s who happened to be very cool. As we were sitting there, I saw a woman jump out of a car and start rushing towards us. She ran up to the window where the other driver was and started yelling hysterically at her asking if she was okay. Then she stared at me with this most awful look and started yelling, "You KNOW she has cancer!!!!!", as if I had this 'cancer radar' and hit her on purpose because of it. I just looked at this woman and did all I could to not start laughing right there. When I looked in the rearview mirror, I could see that the cop was trying not to laugh also.
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Fall '97
Once you start something, It's incredibly hard to stop it. Our nite started with a felony and went from there. Jen was in the middle of a divorce with her ex-husband, and he had a CD of hers that he wouldn't give back. So we went on the mission to get it back. We went to a mutual friend's where he was staying. This is where the breaking and entering takes place... but, not really, was more like entering, cuz the door was open. But don't think that would've held up in court. So anyway, we are fumbling around with flashlights trying to be all sneaky and sly. I have to emphasis the word try, because we were falling all over the place laughing at each other during the entire thing. Needless to say, we could not find the CD, so we soon left. So we sat in the car at the gas station eating our celebratory beef jerky (it seemed appropriate) deciding what we should do that nite. We figured since we were already felons, we might as well see how many laws we could break in one nite. We succeeded in breaking 13 laws in just a few hours. Among the favorites were vandalism and theft. For vandalism we decided to change one of those marquee signs. But we couldn't decide how to do it, so we went and got ice cream first and sat on Jen's car staring at the sign trying to decide how to change it. The best part about this was that we were on an incredibly busy street and were very non-chalant about the entire thing. Like it was normal to have two girls sitting on the hood of a car eating ice cream and changing a marquee at midnite, but guess all the people driving by thought so! After that for theft we decided that stealing a "for sale" realty sign would be an easy thing, since it was last on our list. Took us a half hour to find the damn sign! But we did, and for fun we put it in Jen's parents' yard, since they have a sense of humor, we thought they would enjoy it. Well, it was late and we were tired little criminals, so we kinda messed up. We put the sign in the side of the yard so her parents woudn't miss it. But, put it so the arrow was facing the neighbor's house. Thankfully they have a sense of humor too! Needless to say her parents gave us plenty of shit for facing the sign wrong. They thought that was the best thing about it.
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