Here we go, and wow, do we ever have an A1 loser for you this week. Behold the shite known as "Alpha13". Or something. It would seem that our little wanker here would lead us to believe that he's in a band. Well, as far as I can tell, not only does this idiot lack actual band members, but he also lacks music and concerts. Not much of a band I would say. So the critique would end there, but unfortunetly dude here has decided it important to ionclude a link to his persoanl page on his "I'm not actually in a band but I think I sound cool claiming to be in one" website.
Apon entering it, my eyes are assaulted with a really lame animated gif bearing his ugly likeness and the words "chulthu (?) , to expand , to dissolve, to contract" flying at my face. Wow. If that doesn't blow my mind with gothness, nothing will. This page is so chock full of shit I may have to kill myself just so I never have to think about it again. There doesn't seem to be a "bio" page, but if you click "News", you can laugh at such comedic genious as "I never set out to impress anyone, but I can relate to people who dig my work" . Hehehe, yeah, you're work. I suppose you mean you're "band". I don't imagine too many people can relate to the non-existant work of delusional morons who see themselves as some sort of artistic messiah while worshipping Marilyn Manson though. Well, perhaps the other people who reside with you in the cracker factory, but...anyhow. I really enjoy how the page is written as if he's addressing legions of fans. Sorry to tell you Alpha man, but the only people who are aware of you and you're shit are 1) myself and 2) The poor kids you annoy the hell out of on their teen message boards that you fill with you silly "I'm so intellectual and deep" crap. And believe me, we wish we didn't know of your existence.
I would encourage everyone to view this fucktard's guestbook. It's filled with comments from people who can't stand the guy and really brings such tears of joy to my eyes. *sniff* So so beautiful. Even I, who can usually not be bothered signing these things, felt compelled to do so. (Mine is signed as "Princess Pickle").
Other than that, this website is just really lame, silly and boring. It's filled with some of the crappiest gifs I have ever seen (even crappier than ours), and just lot's of...crap.
And so now, here is the inside information: I have recieved a lot of nominations for this moron. Almost as many as I did for Luccia and The Marilyn Manson groupies. He frequents a teen message board at www.kiwibox.com and bugs the crap out of the poor kiddies on the Gothic Lifestyles board. Poor kiddies, my sympathy goes out to you. People, go to this board and tell him what a fucktard he is. Come on, do it for the kids. He also like s to call people names I guess, and from what I see, these names are better suited to him, such as my personal favorite "tampon sucking dirty old whore". His e-mail is: [email protected]. Woo-hoo. What a dipshit.
Oh look at this piece of crap I found on his website. It's so fucking funny. The angst, the angst. Oh my. |
