manifesto2

DEDICATED TO MISERY, ANXIETY ATTACKS,
     SILENT TEARS AND FALSE SMILES,
     HANGOVERS, SELF-PITY,
     AND ALL THE OTHER NECESSARY BY-PRODUCTS
     OF TRYING TO LIVE
     FREE



     one vision? I had a vision, but I was too broken to remember it fully...it was a dream, a waking nightmare, a
     muscle spasm or a misfiring neuron...it was reality, but reality TV. Did you, did you know that we all posses some form of x-ray sight? We label it "perception" or "body language" or "intuition" but the secret is much darker; with effort, with sobriety, with self-denial we can see into people. See their heart. Soul. Their all. My vision? I saw the public as one street, every individual was there somehow. Not clothed but no flesh; instead I saw into them and could see their organs, their repressive anatomical anguish, the denseless red matter, burdensome weight of meaty mass (the skin-crawling epidemics! Hide the corruption, the institutional decomposition, the lack of sand-swept memories to cure you, can you stop the lice? Those damned, leering, lecherous lice! They control the animal army;;; it is them, it is them, we must regroup, let us toughen our skin with brutal honesty and
     taking chances we fear - FIND SOMETHING GOOD IN SOMEONE YOU HATE) they were walking in the
     street, all trying to find whatever it took to spark a glow in their minds....they were eating *the food was
     chewed;swallowed'peristalsis;pyloric sphincter---pH2;dissolved;bloodstream* they were talking
     *whydoesn'tshelikemei'vebeenmakingthemovesbutsheisn'tresponding
     shoulditryandholdherhandshouldiperhapsihaven'tbeenclearholdherhand* they were shopping
     *thatwouldlookgoodonmeifIFIFIFIF ((((IF, if only, if, if ifif if!!)))) if I lost weight should stop eating fatty foods, no more fry-ups and late-night drinking sessions. no more hash and no more lazy days not getting dressed till it's pub time, no more sick fantasies of fucking bullet holes in your lovers' foreheads; let's lose some weight become a better persoNewYear'sResolutions lose some weight buy those trousers look good have people think I look good feel better about myself* I looked into their featureless faces and saw some minds blackened with self-hatred and     paranoia; I saw some whose heads were burnt with acid; gaps for noses filled with coke; blood for eyes for the sins they've seen; a mouth boarded up with nails and wood for the abuse that they've poured out through it '' all this I saw and not a single mind had the spark //// what spark? //// the spark of happiness. A glow from their minds that indicated {feeling or showing pleasure, contentment or joy}there was something, to them, that made them feel happy. I saw no-one; but - what is this? In my vision I saw two people; from their minds (which I saw without prejudice) came a glow (what glow?) this glow - it was a glow of happiness...what was their secret? The two of them, alone in this world, had the secret (what secret?) this secret....I ran to them, struggling against the flow of people who wanted only to knock me to my knees, ran to them, wanted to ask them what it was that made them happy, and as I went to speak, I found my mouth boarded up with nails and wood; I tasted the blood in my mouth and realised I could not ask them what their secret was, and felt at a loss because I would never know. One vision: There are only two things in this world that concern me: violence and beauty. We want violence that's beautiful and beauty that's violent. We want violence so beautiful that there is no pain, no blood, no fear. Violence so beautiful there is no suffering and there is no anguish. We want Man to realise the beauty in what he sees. We want to find beauty in the way a cat sits on a fence at cold midnight. We want to find beauty in the
     smile of an old lady passing you in the street. We want to find beauty in the arrangement of glass and bricks
     (however broken). We want to find beauty in muscle spasms, d�j� vu and failed hindsight. We want to find beauty not just in the eye of the beholder, but in everyone's eyes. We want to find beauty in the eyes of teachers,
     carpenters, barmaids, drug addicts, alcoholics, soldiers, manic-depressives, schizophrenics and suicidals. We want to find beauty in the eyes of the sick, the angered, the crippled, the hopeless and the depressed. We need to see beauty in the coins of capitalism, in hangovers and our oppressors' actions. Although we are tired of plastics, vitamins and pre-packaged foods; tired of rubber, chains and whips; tired of sadomasochists and prison ships; we long for harmony without strings and joy without pills; and maybe, in a world where we can sleep without knives under our pillows, maybe we can find, if we are sober enough and strong enough to keep looking, maybe we can     find beauty in the eyes of the sick, the angered, the crippled, the hopeless and the depressed, perhaps there is a
     future in which we can see innocent beauty in our children's eyes, a future for rejected lovers to find more...