They had gone to her house so she could take a bath and eat something before going back to the hospital and she should have turned on the radio instead of watching Entertainment Tonight. Now she was being stared at and interrogated by a paranoid James.
�You�re leaning on him for support?� She shook her head and sighed letting it be known she was not happy with him at the moment,
�Are you going to sit there and listen to that crap? If it were about anyone else you�d call it craziness and wouldn�t give it a second thought.�
�Well, it�s not about anyone else. It�s about you and you're supposed to be my wife soon.� She walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. Any time she was nervous or things seemed to be out of her control she always went for a bottle of water. It was something to do with her hands and a way to keep from having to speak at the most uncomfortable times.
�Your wife, not your property.� He frowned at her,
�Did I say anything about you being my property? Don�t get dramatic. What I�m saying is that I don�t like you�us�being involved in stuff like this. This ain�t what I want. I want a nice family life. Not some life where we�re on the news having people get all in our business.� She flopped down on the couch and made a concerted effort to remain calm,
�James, that has nothing to do with me. I didn�t go to the magazines and television stations. Its not my fault.�
�It doesn�t matter if you went to them, they are in our lives. And, its not just about that. The real issue is what I saw in those pictures.� She sighed,
�And what did you see in those pictures?� She knew it wasn�t worth asking. It was just an open invitation to dig deeper into a hole that was full of nothing but a fight.
�You�re leaning on him for support? What is that? What are you doing hugging him? Letting him kiss you?�
�I�m not leaning on him for support anymore than I am you, my parents, my brother or my friends. He is involved in this. He is Mac�s father. I�m not going to keep my distance from him. There is no reason for me to do that. Leaning on him for support? I don�t know but I do know he gave me a hug, a little comfort and there was nothing wrong or sinister about that. It was innocent.� He stood over her and looked her in the eyes,
�Do you even need me? Do I need to be here?� She couldn�t believe this. Here she was worrying about her daughter�s health�her life and he was adding more problems and emotions to the equation.
�I don�t care what you do right now James.� She saw the look on his face, �Yeah, well you rolled the dice and I guess you didn�t get the answer you wanted. That�s the gamble you take.�
�Oh, what are we? A fucking card game now? What�s your problem? Why are you just shitting on me? I�ve been nothing but there for you and supportive and loved you and you�re making me feel like the outsider.�
�Talk about the dramatic one. Its not all that James.� He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet,
�It is all that Quinn. I matter too. Or at least, I�m supposed to.� She snatched her arm from his grasp and stared at him. She never knew him to be so selfish and so consumed with his own feelings when other things were more important.
�I�m here for my daughter and nothing else matters. I don�t have the strength to make you feel wanted and needed. If you want to be here fine, if not then oh well. I don�t have the energy to make you feel better. I thank you for being here for me but stroke your own ego.� She went into her room and slammed the door. Before he could come in she locked it. But she didn�t have to worry about him running to her; the front door opened and closed and she was left alone at home.
She was sliding on her shoes when there was a knock on the door. She walked out of her bedroom with one shoe on and the other in hand. Through the peephole she saw James. She took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping to the side in order to allow him in. He didn�t say anything as he walked past her, they didn�t even make eye contact. He sat on the couch and she set on the chair.
�Could you sit over here please.� She did as he asked and sat next to him. He took her hand and adjusted her engagement ring on her finger,
�I love you. I�ve been into you since that first moment I saw you.� She remembered that like it was yesterday. She and her friends were eating at Tony Roma�s one night, celebrating the birthday of one of her friends. He struck up a conversation with her, or at least tried to despite her defiant protest. She told him she didn�t just talk to random guys.
�Well, how are you going to meet someone?� She frowned at him,
�What makes you think I need someone?� He smiled at her,
�Calm down. I didn�t say you needed a man but everyone wants someone to be with. Ok, all your male friends�are you interested in any of them?� She shook her head,
�Well see�if you're ever going to go out with someone besides a group of girlfriends you have to give someone a chance. Why not me?� She looked at him hesitantly,
�Did I approach you with some whack line or with disrespect?� She had to give him that and she also gave him her phone number.
She was brought back to reality by the squeeze of his hand.
�I�ve been working on this. We can get married now. We don�t have to wait.� She shook her head and sighed. Why couldn�t he understand that now was just not the time?
�James, I just can�t.� He dropped her hand,
�And I can�t keep dealing with this. Either we get married sooner than later or�� His words dropped off and her stomach dropped with them.
�Or what?� She didn�t like ultimatums. It was never any good for anyone.
�Its me or Nick. You can�t have us both. I�m not going to share you.�
�Why does it have to be like this? And you aren�t sharing me. He�s here for Mac, that�s it.�
�No Quinn, he�s not just here for her and you know it.�
�Why cant you just get along with him; just stop being mad at him.�
�How can you ask me to do that? That�s just it, you think more about him than you do me. His feelings, be nice to him. What about me? Having to watch you with him knowing you guys have been together. You share a kid together and the more he�s around the stronger that bond is going to get.�
�What? So you�d rather he not be there for his kid just so you can feel more protective when it comes to your territory?� He stood up,
�You know that�s not what I want. But you two can�t seem to be around each other without it being intense.� She remained silent; she didn�t know what else to say.
�Are you going to marry me?� She looked up at him,
�I want to marry you, just not now.� He shook his head and began to walk away,
�That�s not good enough for me.�
�Well, that�s the best I can do right now. Its not about Nick, its not you. Right now my life is about Mac, that�s it. That�s all I can concentrate on. It wouldn�t seem right to get married, eat, drink, dance and celebrate while she�s in the hospital.�
�It will just be us getting married, no celebration, no party. We could do it at the hospital.� It just wouldn�t feel right to her.
�I can�t James. I can�t. Let�s just wait. Please.�
Chapter 98 cont'd