To watch him with his mother made her stomach do all kinds of tricks. She didn�t know why but she figured every time Jane was talking to Nick she was manipulating him into doing something stupid. She was probably trying to get him to do something with the Carter Family Foundation for Children. She didn�t know if that was the official name but it sounded Jane-like. Weird, she didn�t think of something positive for children when she thought about Jane. She thought Jane was nice when she spent the weekend with Nick the first time; when they were just friends. Even though she made Quinn nervous overall she was okay. Now, it�s all coming out. The hints of manipulation and the drive for publicity no matter the cost, no matter what she had to do. She wondered what kind of people must her children and her husband be after years of dealing with her. She wasn�t going to let Jane sink her hooks into Mac once she was better. That whole idea of the charity was never going to happen if it depended on having MacKenzie in pictures and on television. Her daughter wasn�t some prop.
She stood by the window and looked down at the world passing by below as time (and her life) seemed to be a standstill until she knew what would happen with her life. MacKenzie was going to be alright, she had to be alright because she didn�t know if she could live life without her little girl. Every time she envisioned the future there wasn�t a moment that her daughter didn�t factor into it. When she dreamed of her honeymoon it was so detailed that she could see herself dropping Mac off at her parent�s house. She was excited about (and dreading) the first day of kindergarten, Girl Scouts, dance class and Mac in a little cheerleader outfit. She had dreams of Halloween, hosting slumber parties, baking cookies and �Take your daughter to school� day.
Thinking back now, she couldn�t believe there was a point in time when she didn�t want to have anything to do with a baby. She thought seriously about adoption but in the end she knew she would lose her mind every time she saw a little baby in the world that was her child�s age because she would wonder if he or she was her little one. That was too much to cope with for one individual. Ultimately it came down to two decisions. Keep the baby or have an abortion. It was a struggle that she dealt with alone. She knew her parents would be disappointed in her and if she decided to terminate her pregnancy she knew the disappointment would be two-fold. One for being irresponsible and also for taking the life of a child. She figured if she decided not to keep the baby, there would be no reason to tell them and cause so much pain and drama.
The hard decision was made and she didn�t tell her parents until she was five months pregnant. They were mad, they were disappointed, they were sad. They were everything but happy for a long time. But once they were keen on having a grandchild they smothered her. They even wanted her to take administrative leave and live at home. That was out of the question. Not only would they get on her nerves but she wouldn�t have her same freedom that she had enjoyed since she left her parent�s house at eighteen. Her mother telling her she didn�t need to be outside, she didn�t need to go to the hairdresser and all kinds of other things she made up in her head to her to her father avoiding her because he was embarrassed and mad. It wasn�t the life he wanted for his little girl.
***
Nate placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear,
�Are you sure you don�t want me to call James?� Her fianc�e was at work. He was busy working overtime in order to help with the bills but she hadn�t told him it wasn�t necessary. She didn�t know how. He would ask how she was able to pay for everything and the truth was Nick. She didn�t want to have a conversation about Nick with James. That would just lead to drama and she didn�t have the time for that.
�He has to work. I�m fine.� She dabbed her eyes with the tissue she had crumbled in her hand. Her bother�s expression said it all. James should be there with her.
�Look, his being here isn�t going to do anything. He�s taken enough days off already. I understand.� She grabbed his hand,
�Just like I would understand if you went back to Atlanta.� He frowned at her immediately,
�Are you crazy? And mom and dad should go too right? Stop trying to be so tough; like you don�t need anyone. �
�I don�t need anyone to be here. I can handle this.� She was angry now. She was angry that he wouldn�t allow her to be strong for herself. Why does a woman always have to be weak and helpless. She didn�t care that James wasn�t there. In fact, it was a relief. He would have exhausted her even more with his constant questions about how she was doing and telling her what she needed to do.
�Calm down.� She pulled her hand from his,
�Don�t tell me what to do Nate. I�m not eight anymore.� She ran her hands over her face in an attempt to relax herself. When her hands ran through her hair she saw the door open and Leighanne follow Brian into the room. They went and sat down next to Kevin and Kristin. They were in a waiting room for the family and friends of her daughter and they didn�t say one word to her. They didn�t even say anything to Nick. Why did they even bother to come.
�Hey Nick. When did you do this?� She turned in the direction AJ was, just underneath the TV, and saw Nick on the camera. AJ turned up the volume and she listened to Nick talk about MacKenzie. She wanted to throw up. He talked of loving her and fond memories; moments they shared. How dare he? How dare he get on TV and dote over their daughter like he was an actual part of her life. It angered her that he could be so fake even when it came to their daughter. And how dare he? How dare he allow them to flash pictures of her child for millions around the world to see. She sat and watched as he explained why he had to leave the tour. He didn�t leave it soon enough as far as she was concerned. He should have been on the first thing leaving when she told him their daughter was in the hospital but he wasn�t and he looked like some knight in shining armor on television. Spin was unbelievable.
Suddenly John Norris was wearing different clothes and the MTV News logo was over his shoulder and he began to talk about an update to the story, a development since the original editing of the interview with Nick. What kind of update could there be? It couldn�t be about MacKenzie or could it? Did they know something she didn�t? She was here in the hospital if something happened she would know; they would come and tell her.
A man, a woman and a teenage girl appeared on the screen sitting beside each other. John welcomed them all and asked them what they were doing there. The man, a lawyer, spoke on behalf of the woman and the girl who turned out to be her daughter. She was a single mom who worked hard, she even worked overtime, had garage sales and took on odd jobs to raise enough money to take her daughter to the Backstreet Boys concert in Las Vegas. It was supposed to be the girl and her mother�s first vacation ever. It was ruined when Shauna�s favorite Backstreet Boy was not at the concert. She was devastated. She cried during the entire concert and she didn�t leave her room the next day.
Because of all this pain and suffering she was planning on filing a lawsuit against Nick, the group and their management. Quinn turned and stared at Nick and the rest of the group and it became obvious that they knew nothing about this situation. They all sat around staring at each other and the television with wide open mouths.
Chapter 74a