A sorry excuse for a man? That was how she thought of him? Maybe she was right, it's not like he's really stepped up and done anything for her or his daughter. Sending money, a few toys and a CD doesn't make you a good father and he was embarrassed to admit that's all he's done for his child. She would be better off without him, better off with James. It was time to admit they were all right. Elliott, James, her family, even her but it was hard to accept her words. It was hard to hear how she truly thought of him but he couldn't blame her. She had been through so much, had to grow up fast as he continued to live a stress free responsibility free personal life. Before he knew it he was in the chapel followed closely by Larry. He was really getting to him; he wouldn't let him have a moment's peace. He turned to him and sighed,
"I need to be alone. You can go back to the waiting room and I'll be there soon." He turned and sat down, never had he been inside a place of worship as often as he has since he's been in the hospital waiting for MacKenzie to pull through. He noticed Larry hadn't moved and shook his head,
"You can go." Larry looked at him and he knew he didn't want to leave,
"It's a fucking hospital dude. Nothing is going to happen." He shook his head disapprovingly,
"Nick, remember where you are." He lost it and yelled,
"I know where the fuck we are and I don't give a fuck." That seemed to be all Larry could take and walked out leaving Nick to be alone with every emotion running full force through his body. The emotion that was the most apparent was a feeling of worthlessness. He couldn't help but feel sorry for himself. When had his life become a soap opera? When had he seemed to go backwards in his maturity? He thought he was growing up, thought he was handling life better but obviously he wasn't. He was lost and he needed some answers.
When he walked back into the waiting room he was shocked to say the least. Sitting beside Larry with an expression he could not read was his mother. She was the last person he thought he would have to deal with at this time. He couldn't do it, he couldn't deal with her, couldn't fight her. He'd just give in like he always did with her, it was better than the fighting. She stood up and walked over to him,
"Let's go talk." He nodded and followed behind her, not bothering to see who else was in the room or what they thought of his mother's presence. It seemed like nothing was going well and somehow he didn't see his mother making things better.
He watched her as she sat down at one of the picnic tables outside. She looked up at him,
"Well sit down Nick." He took a deep breath, his heart was racing, he didn't want to hear it and he wanted to get it over with all at once,
"So." She sighed and he waited but when she didn't say anything else the only thing he could think to do was repeat what she had just said,
"So?" She shook her head and looked at him after removing her sunglasses,
"How old is this baby?" She said this baby like she was some random child or something,
"She's like six months." His daughter was six months old and his parents hadn't even seen her. He wanted to be mad at Quinn all over again. Hell, if she had told him he could have gotten used to it and then told his parents. That way, they would all be ok with her existence by now. She was the reason he was in this crap with his parents now. He wanted to be mad at her for all those things but he couldn't. Everything she had said, every way she reacted was all because of him. He should be used to it by now, he did need to get over it. Honestly, she does know him pretty well and he wouldn't have handled fatherhood any better had he found out before MacKenzie was born. He had to face facts, it was all his fault. All the harsh feelings, all the hurt feelings they were all because of him.
"And your family is just finding out about this why Nick?" He was tired of people asking him questions he didn't have the answers to,
"I don't know. I knew you would be mad. I didn't know how to tell you." He stared down at his hands waiting for her to say something, anything to end the horrible silence that was tearing him apart.
"I'm not going to pretend to be happy the way you gave me a grandchild and I'm not going to pretend to be happy about the way we had to find out. You've been so irresponsible, it's time you grew up." She angered him, she always found a way to push his buttons,
"I've been working my butt off my entire life-" Before he could finish, she interrupted,
"I'm not talking about professionally, I mean personally. It's time you started doing things the right way Nick. It's time to step up." He knew she was right. Others might have thought his mother would come and comfort him and take his side but he knew better. He knew she would rag on him more than anyone.
"That's all in the past, that's where we need to put it. Having a child is a wonderful experience." She stood up,
"Well? Come on. Let's go see my granddaughter." He looked up at her and he couldn't even begin to hide the shock that was all over his face,
"What?" She smiled,
"My granddaughter is six months old and I haven't seen her. Hurry up." Part of the problem he had with accepting MacKenzie was because he worried about what others would think, including his family. Yes, that was wrong but that was what he felt and what he struggled with but now that his mother was on his side it would be that much easier to move forward. He stood up and walked beside her as they made their way into the hospital.
"Wait until you see her momma. She's so amazing and her eyes are unbelievable." She glanced at him,
"I'm sure she is Nick."
He led his mother into his daughter's room but stopped when he saw Quinn standing next to MacKenzie's bed,
"Oh, I didn't know you were in here. I...my mom wanted to see MacKenzie." His mother smiled and greeted her,
"Hello Quinn." Only she didn't get the same in return. Quinn only walked out of the room without saying a word. He was embarrassed that Quinn couldn't put her hatred for him aside and be nice to his mom,
"I'm sorry, she's just going through a lot." She nodded her head,
"I can't really imagine but I remember what we went though when Aaron almost drowned. It was the worst feeling in my life. I don't understand how she's able to handle this." He was happy she let Quinn slide but he was still upset with her for being so rude to his mother. He followed her over to the bed and smiled when she gasped,
"Nick, she's gorgeous. Look at that pretty skin and those curls. I wish she was awake so I can see those eyes you're bragging about." He smiled at her enthusiasm. It was such a change from her reaction when he told her he had a daughter.
"They�re sparkling green." She walked over to the sink and washed her hands, as she dried her hands she turned around,
"What is wrong with her exactly?" It hadn't even entered his mind that he hadn't told her what was wrong with his little girl,
"She has a problem with her heart. She needs surgery but she's on the respirator and they can't perform the surgery until she gets stronger." She ran her finger lightly over the baby's face and smiled as her little face twitched at her light touch. He placed his hand on her shoulder and for the first time really believed being a father wouldn't be so bad after all.
Chapter 63
Reunited
Stories