She was sitting in the waiting room not bothering to look up as the door opened. It wasn�t until Chris leaned over and whispered in her ear,
"Kristin is here." did she look up. Kristin was on her knees in front of her and the sympathetic look on her face made the tears rise from somewhere deep inside Quinn.
"Oh sweetie, it's going to be ok." She cried into Kristin's shoulder and felt her hand gently rub her back. Every day since her daughter was admitted into the hospital was tear-filled. Just when she thought she couldn't cry anymore something else came and made her a liar. Kristin pulled back and brushed her hand over Quinn's hair,
"How is she doing?" She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders,
"I don't know. Her breathing isn't that good and she can't have the surgery." Kristin looked around and smiled at her as she patted her thigh,
"Where's Nick?" She rolled her eyes,
"Who knows? Your guess is as good as mine." Kristin stood up held her hands out,
"Let's go for a walk." She looked around the room; Chris and Elliott were both looking at her. The others Nick, Larry, her family, James and Josh, were long gone. She could see the exhaustion in her parents� eyes and sent them back to the hotel with her brother. James was another story; she didn't have to talk him into leaving. He was beginning to spend less and less time with her. Even when he was at the hospital, which wasn't as much as before, he was visiting MacKenzie or her family. She placed her hand in Kristin's hand and stood up; she knew what this conversation was going to be about and frankly she wasn't in the mood for it.
They sat in the cafeteria, in a booth near a wall, seemingly away from everyone. She played with her Styrofoam cup, making indentions with her fingernails, as she waited for Kristin to take the plunge.
"So what do the doctor say as far as a timeframe for when she can have surgery?" She looked up at Kristin and noticed for the first time that her hair was different,
"Did you cut your hair?" Kristin smiled and instinctively ran her hand through her hair,
"Yeah, just a little." Quinn looked back down and exhaled deeply,
"Her surgery depends on when her oxygen intake increases. They don't know when that will be." She knew from the doctors the longer Mac couldn't breathe on her own the higher the chances that it could cause some type of permanent damage. She couldn't take the uncertainty of it all anymore; it was too much for her and even though there were so many people supporting her, she felt alone. Alone because the person who was supposed to feel the same as she did, the person who was supposed to be able to read her mind and hold her hand was never there for her.
"So Nick." She looked up at Kristin and sighed,
"What about him?" Her voice had such a bite to it she was surprised by it.
"Quinn, why are you so angry at him?" It should be obvious to anyone why she was angry with Nick. He hadn't stepped up to do his job as a parent since the day MacKenzie was born. She thought he would definitely be there for them when he found out she was sick but when she called him and he said he had to finish the tour she knew then and there that he would never take his responsibility as a parent seriously.
"Because he's not here." She looked around the cafeteria, waiting for Kristin to rush to Nick's defense.
"Maybe he's tired." Maybe he's tired? She was tired. In fact, she had been tired for the past six months but that was beside the point.
"No, I mean not now even though I think he should be here right now. It's like he doesn't care." Kristin shook her head,
"You can't say that Quinn, he loves his daughter." She was sick of it. She was tired of it. There was always someone defending him and he didn't deserve it. There was no excuse for his lack of interest in MacKenzie's life. Nick always got the benefit of the doubt and she and Mac always got the short end of the stick,
"How do you know Kristin? You haven't been here you haven't seen him. Did he tell you that? Did he tell you he loved her?" She shook her head,
"No, I haven't talked to him but I know Nick. He loves children that he doesn't know so I know he loves his own daughter. He's going to be a great father, you just have to give him time." Time may be something that Mac didn't have and the thought of that caused tears to stream down her face.
"You're letting your feelings cloud your judgment." She frowned,
"What?" Kristin gently placed her hand on top of Quinn's,
"Quinn, you're confusing what he may feel for you for his feelings for Mac." So he doesn't feel anything for me she thought. But that wasn't what she was doing. She wasn't concerned with what Nick may feel for her, that had never entered her mind,
"What? What does that mean?" She could tell Kristin was apprehensive about answering and she couldn't say she blamed her. If she said the wrong thing there was no telling what Quinn would say to her.
" It's like you think that his feelings for you and Mac are one in the same." She didn't think that. She knew Nick didn't love her and she prayed he didn't have the same feelings for Mac that he had for her,
"I know Nick doesn't love me." Kristin shook her head as Quinn took her hand away and crossed her arms as she leaned back in the chair.
"I didn't say he doesn't love you Quinn. Do you love Nick?" What does her possible love for Nick have to do with Nick not doing what he was supposed to do for her daughter? She looked off in the distance not wanting to look at Kristin as the tears came faster,
"I care about him like I do anyone I consider my friend." Kristin slid across the seat until she was next to Quinn with her arm around her,
"Admit it, you probably thought you loved him before you ever met him. You've had years maybe, he hasn't, give him time. It�s new to him. The baby, you, the love he feels for you both." Quinn looked at her and frowned as she wiped her tears,
"What? What are you talking about?" Kristin licked her lips and took a deep breath,
"You were a fan right?" Now she is some hanger on? She should have known better, she probably saw girls like her as a threat to her marriage. Kevin and the rest of the guys saw willing girls everyday,
"Oh so what? I planned this? You probably think I tried to get pregnant." Kristin shook her head,
"No sweetie, that's not what I think. I know your intentions are good when it comes to Nick. Hey, I was excited when you and Nick finally got together in Mexico remember? I still think you're good for him or I would not have got you guys to meet up again at that restaurant." She could hear Kristin take another deep breath. Whatever it was she hoped it was tame, she couldn't take anymore of Kristin's honesty.
"Right now you want more than Nick is willing to give and it's not his fault. He's not wrong because he isn't where you are at this moment and it doesn't mean he doesn't love Mac." She looked over at Kristin and slowly shook her head,
"How can you say this to me right now? My daughter is lying in a hospital and you're badgering me about Nick and a relationship that I don't even want. You don't know me Kristin and all I expect out of Nick is for him to be 100% here for Mac." She stood up,
"And I don't think that's more than he should be willing to give." She stormed off leaving Kristin to call out after her.
Chapter 60
Reunited
Stories