Nick was sitting in his hotel room watching as Josh flipped through the channels when he saw a pmotional picture of the group,
"Hey turn back." They watched as a report was given that he not only left the tour but left the group then the reporter read an official statement from the group,
"The Backstreet Boys are still together and are stronger than ever. Nick has not left the group. He deeply regrets leaving the remainder of the tour and disappointing any fans, however, it was for personal circumstances beyond his control. He is our bandmate, our friend and our brother and we respect his decision. We expect him to be nowhere other than where he is at this moment." Nick sighed as he wondered if that was good enough. Josh looked over at him,
"How many shows do you have left?" He sighed as he laid on his back,
"Tonight is Denver and tomorrow is Las Vegas." He placed his arm over his eyes,
"Wake me up in a couple of hours ok?" Josh nodded,
"Alright, I'm going to get something to eat. Want something?" Nick shook his head,
"No." He just wanted to forget where he was, where he should be and what the hell was going on. How in the hell did he find himself in his situation he would never know. He wished he could go back in time, back before he knew he had a daughter, before he got Quinn pregnant, before he even met her. His career was suffering, his relationship with the guys took a hit and Quinn hated him. Nothing he was saying or doing was the right thing.
Nick, Larry and Josh arrived at the hospital that evening a couple of hours before visting hours were to end. He knew someone would probably be mad at him for showing up so late but he just couldn't sit in the hospital all day walking in and out of MacKenzie's room knowing nothing was going to change. Larry had asked him at least seven times throughout the day when they were going to head over to the hospital, he finally told him he was going to go without him. He couldn't let Larry do that, he knew that if Larry showed up at the hospital and he, MacKenzie's dad, didn't go that Quinn would flip out on him. He walked into the waiting room last and only Nate and Elliott were there,
"Hey Nick." He smiled gratefully at Nate,
"Hi man." He didn't bother to respond to Elliott's grunt as Nate looked at him,
"Quinn is in Mac's room alone. Maybe you might want to go in and see if they're ok." It wasn't a question, not even a suggestion, it was more like an order and he simply nodded,
"Yeah." He turned back to leave as Elliott spoke loud enough for him to hear,
"He has to be told to do the right thing, jesus." He slowly looked behind him at Elliott and stared at him, deciding not to say anything because he hadn't done the right thing on his own since the day Quinn reentered his life. He walked down the hall and stood at the door watching Quinn lean over MacKenzie's bed. Please let me not mess up he thought as he opened the door. Quin looked up and wiped her eyes quickly as he stood in the doorway,
"I could leave..." She shook her head,
"No, no come in. What's up?" He shook his head as he walked in the room,
"Just came to see how she was doing." He stood next to Quinn as he looked down at MacKenzie lying in the bed, her eyes closed,
"Is...is she ok?" Quinn turned to him and seeing the tears in her eyes made him realize, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He hadn't cried for his daughter since the day he found out she was in the hospital,
"I'm a bad dad." he whispered. He felt her hand on his arm,
"What did you say?" He looked at her and shook his head,
"Nothing." She shook her head,
"Did you say you were a bad dad?" He sighed and his eyes met hers and he nodded,
"Yeah." She nodded her head slowly,
"I thought that's what you said." He noticed she didn't bother to comfort him, tell him that he was being too hard on himself and he couldn't necessarily blame her. At least she didn't kick him while he was down and agree with him,
"So, were the guys ok with you leaving?" He laughed wryly,
"They weren't exactly happy but they'll get over it." Weren't exactly happy? That was putting it mildly,
"Um." He looked over at her and watched as she took deep breaths and struggled to say whatever it was that she was trying to say,
"What?" She shook her head,
"I just...I don't understand you." He frowned,
"Understand what?" She licked her lips and continued to look down at MacKenzie,
"How you can just not care, not care about her. Ever since I told you about her you hardly called, you only saw her a couple of times. I told you she was sick and your first priority was the tour. You finally get here and you barely come into her room to see her. When you do, you only stay a couple of minutes. You never ask how she's doing except when you're around me and that's only because you're at a loss for words." He didn't know what to say to all of that,
"You don't want to be here so why don't you just leave?" She quickly walked out of the room crying uncontrollably leaving him alone with his daughter for the first time since he arrived.
He sat in a chair next to MacKenzie's bed with his head in his hands. Suddenly the door opened and he looked up to see Elliott with a none too pleased look on his face,
"What did you do to Quinn?" He stood up defensively,
"What? Nothing." He stepped close to Nick and stood before him,
"Why is she out there crying her eyes out?" Nick sighed,
"She's just upset." Elliott snorted as he mocked,
"She's just upset. She's just upset? Why don't you just leave? No one wants you here." Nick could feel Elliott's breath on his face but he refused to back down,
"She doesn't want me to leave and I'm not going anywhere." Elliott rolled his eyes,
"Why not? It's not like you love MacKenzie." Nick just stood there shocked into silence at Elliott's words,
"See? A real father who loves his child would have told me I didn't know what the hell I was talking about." Nick shook his head, his hands balled into fists,
"You don't." Elliott snorted,
"Too late." Nick watched as he walked out of the room.He didn't have to defend himself or his actions to Elliott and he was tired of being portrayed as some monster. He wasn't a bad person, he wasn't selfish and every other word Elliott had ever called him. Why couldn't people understand that he was just overwhelmed by this whole situation? It was new, it was shocking, he just needed time. Why couldn't they just give him time? He lightly ran his fingertip over her hand and his heart skipped a beat when she moved slightly. The feel of his fingertip on her skin gav him chills, this was his daughter and she was hurt and there was nothing he could do about it. The pain of watching a child suffer, knowing there was nothing you could do brought on such a feeling of helplessness.
Chapter 46
Reunited
Stories
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