Walking through the lobby and seeing that there were a few girls was quite intimidating. As I walked to the elevator I was waiting on someone to grabbed me by the back of my shirt and treat me like a criminal. My fear came true when a guy about my size came over to me,
�Quinn right?� He knows my name. How does he know my name? The shock must have been evident on my face as he laughed,
�Hi, I�m on the tour, I remember you from last night.� I smiled and exhaled a sigh of relief as I shook his hand and followed him towards the elevator,
�Hi, nice to meet you.�
�Eric.� I nodded,
�Nice to meet you Eric.� Ok, this wasn�t going to be bad I kept telling myself as we rode up the elevator,
�So, did you like the show last night?� My eyes lit up at the mention of the show,
�Oh yeah, I loved it.� He nodded,
�Last night was one of the best shows so far.� He extended his arm and I stepped out of the elevator and waited for him to lead the way,
�Ok, Nick�s room is just up here.� The mention of his name sent my stomach into overtime. I looked down at myself as he knocked on the door and we waited for it to open. Another unknown face greeted us and I smiled as he stepped aside and I followed Eric inside. There were about ten people and I looked around until I saw Nick. He was standing on the balcony with a couple of people but he hadn�t noticed me,
�Have a seat. Want anything to drink?� So I can spill it on myself or worse someone else? No thanks,
�Uh no I�m ok thanks.� I wondered who all these people were and if his life was like this all the time,
�So, what do you do on the tour?� He smiled as he sat down next to me,
�I�m a dancer.�
�Wow, I can�t believe you guys do all that dancing. I�m always impressed�well and I have very little rhythm so I guess it�s easy to impress me.� He laughed,
�Of course you do, it�s a law.� We laughed and I nodded,
�Some would think that huh?� The conversation with Eric was carefree and I was having a nice time talking about everything from where and how we grew up to music and movies. Of course my eyes always roamed and searched for Nick. I had been there for almost an hour and the room had thinned out considerably and Nick hadn�t come over even once. It became clear that I wasn�t there for Nick, I was there for Eric and I was feeling like a complete loser for thinking he wanted to hang out with me. I should have known. I was listening to Eric when I looked over and locked eyes with Nick. I smiled weakly and he did that head nod thing and for the first time since I met him he smiled at me. My trance was interrupted as Eric�s cell phone began to ring. He seemed to really become caught up in the conversation then looked over at me,
�I�m sorry, I need to take this.� I nodded and watched as he walked out of the room. I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to walk out to the now empty balcony. Ok, I must have been a complete fool to think that he wanted to hang out with me. At least I didn�t make a fool of myself and walk over to him or something. I heard the door close and turned around to see the room appeared to be empty as Nick looked over at me. I don�t know what happened after that because I quickly turned around to admire the view. Ok, I�m alone with him, what am I supposed to do? Breathing would be a good thing Quinn, get a grip. He stood near me and I glanced over in his direction but I couldn�t look in his face,
�So, hope you haven�t been bored. We don�t do much on the day of a show unless its press and stuff like that.�
�Oh, no I�m fine.� Now that�s its clear he has no interest in me I might as well act like a normal human being. I took a deep breath and looked out at the view, thanking God there was something to distract me. The phone rang and he excused himself. I can�t help but smile as I think about sitting in his room. This was like a dream and I�m not going to mess it up by acting like a fool. I mean, there weren�t other fans around, it was one on one and I would never get this time again. I turned to look at him as he came back out,
�That was Eric, he has to do some stuff. He said it was nice meeting you and he told me to give you his number.� I nodded,
�Thanks, he�s nice.� He nodded his head and looked out at the city,
�So, what do you do for fun?� I had to laugh a little because my life was quite boring,
�Not much. Movies, computers, reading, music, beach, that�s about it.� He nodded,
�All those are things you can do by yourself.� I looked over at him a little surprised at his observation. My surprise must have been evident on my face because he smiled,
�I like hanging out with my friends but I do a lot of stuff by myself too. I mean, I like to have people around me but sometimes I like being alone.� I nodded in agreement,
�Yeah, I like being alone at times.� The time seemed to drag and it seemed like neither of us had said a word in hours and I figured I shouldn�t overstay my welcome,
�I guess I should get going.� He quickly placed his hand on my arm,
�Uh, you don�t have to leave if you don�t want.� He looked as if he really wanted me to stay and I really wanted to but what were we going to talk about,
�Ok, sure.� Here I am doing it again. I mean, I sat there and watched him with some girl all night and I still gave him my number, now I�m sitting in his hotel room not knowing why the hell I am here because the guy that was interested in me isn�t here anymore. I�m losing all sense when it comes to him, I can see that already.
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Mixed Feelings
Chapter 9