I'm tired, unbelievably tired, but I can't sleep and it's the most aggravating feeling in the world. Now I'm lying on the couch half ass watching This Is Spinal Tap. I wonder what life as a groupie is like. It has to be fun. Sex with rock stars, lots of different rock stars. Traveling from city to city, staking out your prey and the feeling of joy when you completed your mission. Or better yet one big orgy with the entire band. A room full of men and me, their hands all over me. That's something every woman should experience once. It's hard for even me to believe that I've never been with more than two men. My personal goal is four. I've been with two women and a man but I want to be the only woman, the center of attention. I picked up the remote and turned the television off looking around for something to do. I need to get out, no I need to stay in and relax. What I need is to do something before I lose my mind and do something I truly regret. I picked up the remote control to the stereo and played the first CD that dropped, a Rage Against the Machine live album. I stripped down and walked into the bathroom. It's late in the afternoon and maybe while I'm in the shower I can figure out what I want to do.
"Damn." I wasn't ready to wake up, especially to the sound of a ringing phone but as I rolled over to answer I saw that whoever it was that was calling did me a favor, it was time for me to wake up if I was going to go out that night.
"Yeah?"
"Tomorrow after you see the lawyer you need to go see Riana for your dress." I wasn't up to talking to anyone but when Steven's voice came through the phone it was an instant pick me up.
"Hi baby." I sat up and began to move stretch my body in an attempt to get the blood pumping a little faster,
"Not right now Brehan. Did you hear me? Riana right after you see the lawyer. She is expecting you so make sure you're there. Make sure it's a great dress, one that has you on everyone's best dressed list, it's Vegas." It was business with him, that's the way it has been for the past four months.
"I got it. Lawyer, stylist, fabulous dress. So on to more important things. When am I going to see you?" He sighed heavily into the phone, my smile faded and my heart sank,
"No, you don't get it Brehan. The more important stuff is making sure your childish behavior doesn't screw things up." It's my fault, that's the way he sees it and I just can't believe it. He was there, he saw how she was treating me and in my own home of all places.
"You act like out of nowhere I just attacked her. She-"
"I don't give a damn. Look, the divorce was supposed to be final in the next week but there is no telling what she might do. She could drag this thing out for God only knows how long. We need to take a break for a while."
"Take a break? What does that mean?" It seems like since that day Evelyn showed up at my place that Steven and I had been on one long break. We didn't see each other and we barely talked.
"The relationship, us, a break. Maybe after I come back from Europe and we see what her plans are things can be different." No, it was like being slapped in the face, kicked in the gut,
"We don't need a break Steven. Everything will be fine." My pulse began to quicken and my palms began to sweat.
"I'm glad someone gets to coast through life acting as if all their problems can be solved by wishful thinking. You don't get it and I'm tired of trying to make you. Sometimes you are the biggest fool I've ever known. You don't know what is so painfully obvious to everyone else. This is the real thing. You can't treat Evelyn like your family and just pretend she doesn't exist. She doesn't love you, she's evil and she's out to get you and me. She's hurt and angry." He has talked to me in suck a harsh tone before but there was something about this time. It was harsh and it hurt but he was so calm while he spoke it was almost frightening.
"It will be ok Steven. It will, I know it's serious but it will be ok." I was becoming a little angry. I was the one that would have the legal matter to deal with. I was the one who could possibly lose my hard earned money,
"Steven, I have problems but I never let them affect our relationship, not the way you do. I'm the one she wants to take a million fucking dollars from. We're not spending time together; the idea of getting married has just been ignored. I don't even have a ring. You've just totally changed on me." He let out a strangled cry,
"There you go again. Just fucking forget it Brehan. You know what? Just forget the whole damn thing. I'm tired of this; I'm tired of taking care of you. Maybe this break may be of the permanent kind." I rolled my eyes from the sheer arrogance. I wasn't going to break down emotionally like I usually did when he threatened the end of our relationship. It was the same crap. He wasn't going anywhere; he couldn't live without me just as I couldn't live without him. He loved me, he adored me and he had done so for the past four years. You can't just let that go so easily,
"Maybe we should think about a permanent change." Before he could say anything else I hung up the phone then took it off the hook. Let him sweat it out this time.
Before going to Studio 54 I stopped by and picked up Mark. There are very few places I go by myself and a club wasn't one of them. He leaned over until our bodies were touching,
"Let's dance." My hand was in his as he led me out to the dance floor. What is it about me? I always get drawn to men who tell me what to do instead of asking me. Men never ask me anything; they just demand something of me. Steven, Mark, Doug and countless other men I gain interest in are take-charge kind of guys. I don't know if I can be attracted to a man that let's me wear the pants in a relationship. I mean, I get my way and I get what I want but when it comes to men it's only because they let me. Now with women it was a completely different story. I was, for the most part, always the man in the relationship. I took lessons from all the men in my life. A reggae song filled the room and Mark quickly pulled me close into him and wrapped his arms around my waist. His eyes were on my breasts, which were barely covered by my thin silk dress. I slid my arms out of the tiny straps of my dress and exposed my breasts to him. He looked up at me, briefly of course, and shook his head,
"You are too much." There was just enough room between our bodies for his hands to cup my bare breasts. I turned my back to him and once again he covered my chest as he grinded his groin into my butt. He nibbled on my ear and once his tongue touched my skin my head fell back on his shoulder,
"Are we going back to your place or mine?" I was feeling good, damn good, but no so good that I didn't know what was going on and what the best answer was.
"Your place." If Steven, by some amazing miracle, decided to show up at my place he would beat the hell out of me. He has hit me many times for lesser acts of loyalty. He started to lead me off the dance floor but I pulled back,
"Not yet, I'm just beginning to have a good time." I've never partied where I didn't get drunk unless it was a publicity event and I wasn't about to start now, especially tonight of all nights. I need a distraction and Mark was my kind of distraction.
Chapter 92
Stranger Than Fiction
Stories
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