To say I'm distracted is like saying the Niagara Falls is a dripping faucet. I want so badly to get back to my hotel room and do a few lines but I have to sit here and pretend like I'm in the 80s. Right now I'm in a sweatshirt that's hanging off my shoulder a la Jennifer Beals in Flashdance the director said. I just took her word for it since I've never seen the movie.
"Ok Brehan. I want you to stare into the camera but almost as if you're looking right through, like you're off in space." I nodded my head and did as she said. Before I knew it I was thinking about Steven, Evelyn and the lawsuit. I'm all for not being seen as the goody-two shoes but even I know I don't need this type of publicity. What's worse is the more attention it gets the more investigating there will be and my relationship with Steven before he and his wife separated will be out in the open. If that wasn't bad enough there was going to be the talk of my age, I was only sixteen, and for some reason American society has issues with young people having sex. Steven didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do and I think no one should have a problem with it. Negativity is not something Steven likes in his life and the only thing he hates more is not being in control. If our affair comes out he will have to relinquish control of how people viewed him to the media who would, in the end, determine his character for the public. Things were so close to being ok and then this happens. He was going to make an effort to come out and see me now he was stuck trying to put out the fire before anyone could see the smoke. I think even if he didn't have to deal with the professional aspect of it all he still wouldn't come out to see me, that's just how mad he is.
My legs were spread and my head was resting in my hand propped on one of my thighs when I saw Nick turn the corner. I almost smiled but that would have ruined the shot the photographer was looking for. He looked like he belonged on a college campus with his jeans, bright white sneakers and athletic jersey of some type. He had AJ with him, something he didn't mention while we were on the phone, but I don't care. My feet were beginning to kill me; it was these red patent leather pumps. What fashion a statement, a gray cotton sweatshirt and cheap red pumps. I sighed and rolled my eyes back over towards the ceiling,
"Right there, don't move." I held my pose for a brief moment before she was finished,
"Ok, that was great. Why don't we break while I change equipment and we change the set?" I nodded and stood up, walking over to Nick immediately,
"Come on, let's go to my dressing room." I led the way and once we were inside I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist. I closed my eyes and prayed he did it right and he did. He didn't say anything; he just held me and rubbed my back. It was exactly what I wanted. I opened my eyes too see AJ closing the door and looking at us. I pulled away and sat down on the couch,
"Have a seat." He sat down on a chair and AJ sat on the couch next to me. If I wanted AJ sitting next to me I would have invited him, I didn't even ask for him to be here. He smiled at me,
"You look tired." I nodded and almost on cue began to yawn,
"Yeah, I just want to go back to my room and crash." He glanced around the room as he asked,
"When do you get to do that?"
"Right after this photoshoot." He nodded absentmindedly and I could tell once again that he was going to be silent. I know I have been quite harsh with him in the past but I would think that he wouldn't be intimidated by me anymore. I mean he's definitely shown he can stand up for himself and he's seen me in some of my pathetic moments. I told him many things that if someone told me I'd think he or she were weak and needed to get their shit together. He was the one who has seen me crying. He has been the one comforting me and listening to all my problems. I, on the other hand, have never been witness to any of his imperfections and painful monologues of love gone astray. I've never been seen as weak and right now I'm afraid that's how he sees me and that isn't me. I'm strong, I'm independent and I always get what I want. I hope he knows that about me, that he sees that in me. I'm not some damsel in distress and he is not my knight in shining armor riding in on his white horse to rescue me from sorrow.
"What are you doing tonight?" I know this kid has to have a few wild bones in his body. No one is as perfect as he is, at some point I know this kid has been wilder than anyone could imagine.
"We have a concert tonight." A concert, when the hell didn't he have a concert? The shrill of the cell phone kept me from inviting him out after his concert,
"Hello?" Sarah's chipper voice traveled through the phone and filled my ear,
"What are you doing?" I could be a smartass or I could simply be upfront,
"Talking to Nick and trying to get him to go out with me tonight." I smiled and winked my eye at him as he rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. He could shake his head all he wanted but if I wanted him to go out he would go out.
"Hey, here he is. Tell him he needs to hang out with me." I tossed the phone to Nick, who was barely able to gather himself before my phone landed in his fumbling hands,
"Hello?" Suddenly his frown went to a smile,
"Oh hi Sarah. What are you up to?" I glanced over at AJ as he seemed to give me a strange look and I challenged him with my eyes thinking he would back down but he didn't he simply held my stare. Nick walked over to the other side of the room
"Something on your mind?" He shook his head and soon we were both looking at Nick and caught the tail end of his ungraceful trip over a chair,
"He is beyond help." Something about his comment rubbed me the wrong way as he laughed,
"Actually, I think he's damn near perfect." He studied my face,
"You're really into him huh?" He directed his head towards Nick over in the corner and I smiled from satisfaction, as he seemed to be quite animated during his conversation with Sarah,
"Yeah, I do. Why? Am I the only girl that does?" He shook his head,
"Oh no, not at all. The list is long and distinguished but they never seem to have a real reason. At least not one that washes with me." I frowned,
"And why does it have to wash with you? Are you his guardian?" He shook his head and smiled slightly. I really like the kid and in the couple of months that we've gotten to know more and more about each other I have a soft spot for him. Never, not once, has he ever been disrespectful or mean. I've never heard him say anything bad about anyone. Well, except for Steven but it's expected since all he ever heard about him was the negative. I couldn't expect him to see the man I loved because I never told him about that guy. Nick saw the mean asshole that made me cry.
"No, I'm not his guardian." I wasn't eager to let him off the hook and was curious about the other side of Nick. I was curious as to the skeletons in his closet. It was probably wrong to try and dig out his skeletons when I wasn't willing to have anyone haul my out for a spin around the ballroom.
"So, what is it about Nick and his girls that has you a little unsettled?" He shrugged,
"He just picks the wrong ones and just when you think he's going to be taken advantage of they get stupid. It's hard to explain. It's like they give him the upper hand." That made no sense to me,
"He seems genuine. He's never tried to get over or be scandalous as far as I can see. He's about the most honest person I've ever met in this industry; almost to a fault." I looked over at him and couldn't help but give myself a mental pat on the back. His conversation with Sarah seemed to get better and better as the time went on and it was all because of me. Looks like my job of matchmaker will be a certain success.
Chapter 76
Stranger Than Fiction
Stories
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