Shayna gave the bed to her mom and sister and she slept on the couch, however, she couldn't sleep and turned on the television of course to find nothing on. She wished she would have rented those movies but after dinner she wanted to find a hole and crawl in but she settled for taking a long shower while she cried away the tears. She sat up when she heard the door open and looked over her shoulder to see her mother tying her bathrobe tighter,
"Did I wake you? Sorry." Her mom sat down next to her,
"It's ok. Are you ok? Carrie didn't mean to make you feel bad." Shayna nodded as she pulled her legs underneath her,
"Yeah, I know." She flipped through the channels hopelessly searching for something half-way decent,
"Honey, do you want to talk about it?" Shayna looked over to see the concern in her mother's face,
"Mom, I knew. I mean, I didn't know for sure but...he's a guy and I'm not always there. Maybe that's why I accepted it because I wasn't there. He's handsome, he's young of course he's going to...But when he was home, when we were together it was so good and he treated me right. I don't know. I mean, can you really expect someone who is always away from home to be faithful? A part of me feels he should be able to..." She looked at her mom as she ran her hand over Shayna's hair like she did when she was a little girl,
"That's stupid right? Being ok with your boyfriend cheating." She saw the uncertainty on her mother's face,
"Honey, it's not for me to judge. Are you happy now? How are things with Bill?" She smiled,
"They're fine. He's out of town right now so you won't get to meet him this time." After her mother hearing about her failed relationship with Nick there was no way she was going to admit another dysfunctional relationship. Bill wasn't out of town, she had asked him to give her some time and she would call him when her family left. As she sat there she began to wonder, maybe it wasn't them, maybe it was her.
"Hey, what's going on?" Carrie came out a sat on the couch in her dance shorts and T-shirt. Shayna shook her head as her mother spoke up,
"Nothing much honey. You should get some sleep, I'm going to go back to bed myself." She patted Shayna on the leg and walked back into the bedroom. Carrie took the remote out of Shayna's hand and began to flip the channels,
"So, what were all these things that were said on the internet?" Carrie looked over at her sister.
"Are you sure you want to know?" Shayna shrugged,
"It doesn't matter anymore, we're over." Carrie stood up and walked into the kitchen,
"Well then it really shouldn't matter." Shayna was becoming irritated, quickly,
"Carrie!" Carrie poured her drink and made her way back to the couch,
"Ok, ok. There were stories of fans seeing him with girls at the hotels. One girl said she was with Nick, that he used her, slept with her and never talked to her again. There was a lot of that...people saying he's a dog and does girls wrong." Shayna licked her lips, for whatever reason she wished he had been nicer to them. Granted, part of her felt they got what they deserved but the other part of her wished he was smart enough to pick the right kind of women. Women who knew what it was about and took it for what it was and handled it like a business deal,
"What else?" She looked over at Carrie when she didn't say anything and nodded her head,
"I don't know, that's it really. Girls saying they got with him or their friends got with him or they saw him with girls in the hotel bar or in a club. One girl who said she got with him had pictures of her and her friends with him and his friends in a hotel room." Shayna smiled grimly,
"So why didn't you ever tell me about this before." Carrie looked down,
"Because I knew you loved him and...I kind of thought you had to have known, I mean there is always talk about him and isn't that what rock stars do? And if you didn't know, well, what you don't know won't hurt you right?" Shayna stood up and stepped into her sandals and picked up her keys,
"Sometimes what you don't know is what hurts you the most." Carrie nodded and looked at her sister,
"Where are you going? Its midnight." Shayna looked back at her,
"I don't know just out, I need to get away for a while. If mom is asleep don't tell her. I'll be back before she wakes up."
She drove around thinking of Nick being with other women. She finally made it to her destination and sighed as she got out of the car and rang the doorbell. He opened the door and she wrapped her arms around him,
"I am so sorry for cheating on you. Forgive me...please." Bill wrapped his arms around her, picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She lay back with her eyes closed as he undressed her.
Home
Full Circle
Chapter 63