She thought back over the past month with Bill and it had been almost perfect. They never argued they always seemed to agree on what to do. Natasha insisted it was because there was no passion,
�If he doesn�t cause emotions, then you don�t love him or even care.� She said. She told her he just didn�t make her mad like Nick did,
�First of all, he just doesn�t make you anything like Nick did; and just because you don�t hate someone doesn�t mean you love or like them. You are indifferent to him. You can take him or leave him, that�s not love, that�s not even a good relationship.� She shook her head of her earlier conversation with Natasha. She now had a drama free relationship, something she had always wanted. She loved being in a relationship where other people weren�t concerned about it. Wondering and even hoping it would fail. Dissecting every word and move they made like they knew them. Her thoughts were interrupted by the knock on the door,
�Hi.� Bill smiled back at her,
�Hi, you ready to go?� She nodded and grabbed her purse off the table by the door,
�Let�s go.� He opened the car door for her and before closing it; he leaned in and kissed her. It was like a fairy tale sometimes, she didn�t care what Natasha said.
She sat watching the waves crash as she leaned back on him. He surprised her with dessert on the beach after dinner. Somehow, her thoughts went to Nick, it was the damn water, she listened to him say how much he loved the water, loved the ocean, she would never be able to think of the beach and not think of him, she thought. Bill reached around and fed her and as she licked the whipped cream off his finger, she shifted to make eye contact with him. Forget Nick, she thought, she was here with someone who was a hell of a lot better for her. He watched as his fingers disappeared into her mouth and she could see that look of lust in his eyes. He rolled over on her and his hand slid underneath her shirt and began to massage her breast. Her hands landed on his back and she didn�t want to do it but she did, she started thinking how it wasn�t like Nick. His kisses, the way he touched her breasts, it didn�t compare to Nick. She heard him moan and she instantly lost all desire to continue. Why was he moaning? If he were to be kissed by Nick he would know what a moan-inducing kiss was. Wait, what? Am I stupid or what? Before she knew it she was laughing, he looked down at her confused,
�What is it?� She tried to stop laughing but she couldn�t,
�Nothing, nothing�s wrong.� He leaned down to kiss her again and she began to laugh again,
�You know that doesn�t do much for my ego.� She shook her head and took a deep breath,
�I�m sorry, I really, I just caught the giggles, its over now.� He leaned in and they began to kiss again, his hand slid from underneath her shirt and he began to unbuckle her jeans. Just relax she thought as his hand slid down and he began to rub her. It didn�t feel good, or was it that it didn�t feel the way Nick did it, that doesn�t make it bad, she thought, just different. He began to pull her pants down and she pushed his hand away and sat up. He looked over at her,
�What�s wrong?� She shook her head and looked down as she sighed,
�I�I�m just not ready to do this.� He looked at her and sighed,
�We�ve been moving towards this, what�s the matter?� She stood up,
�I�m just not ready to make that step.� She could tell he was disappointed maybe even a little frustrated as he stood and began to collect everything,
�Here are the keys, why don�t you go ahead, I�ll get this.� She looked at him,
�Are you sure?� He nodded his head and didn�t look up as he kept putting things away,
�Yeah.� She felt bad as she walked back to the car, she didn�t want to lead him on but she just didn�t want to go there with him yet. She just wasn�t ready, obviously, or she wouldn�t have been thinking about Nick.
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Chapter 24