It had been a week since he had walked out on her. It had been exactly seven days of self-pity and self-evaluation. She never left the house. In fact, she never even opened the door to go and get the mail. On the fifth day she ran out of things she wanted to eat and instead of getting dressed and leaving the house she ordered take in. The pizza she ordered one night was her breakfast and lunch the next day. She never once did her hair and a couple of days passed where she didn�t make it to the shower. She walked around wearing his clothes and his cologne.
She went to the closet and pulled out a small trunk. It was one of many that contained their memories. Photography was one of her hobbies and she always had a camera with her. She first started putting the pictures in photo albums, complete with captions that included the date and location of each picture. The pictures were in the photo albums in chronological order. She smiled as picked one up. She could hear him telling her there was something not right about being so anal about something you do for fun. Her hand traced over one particular picture. It was six months after they had become a couple. Her friends had just moved into a house and they were having a �party� to fix up the place. She was covered in paint and Nick had somehow managed to stay clean but he didn�t hesitate to wrap his arms around her when it was time to pose for the picture.
There were pictures that had not been filed with such care as the others. They had been the pictures that were taken in the past six months. Usually six months was about three albums worth of pictures. These past six months couldn�t fill up one album. She opened a pack and tears filled her eyes as she looked through them. She could see the difference in their relationship just by looking at those pictures. Before, if they were in a group picture, they would be right next to each other. In these pictures there always seemed to be someone between them. In fact, in a lot of them she was on one end and he was on the complete opposite. In the pictures of just the two of them, they were barely touching, if they were touching at all. In the beginning, their hands were all over each other. She threw the pictures down on the bed and walked down to the kitchen to get something to drink.
As she passed a mirror she had to stop and stare; she was shocked at the person that looked back at her. She was dressed in his boxers and one of his T-shirts, and her hair was a mess. She looked as if someone had tossed her away. She sighed, there are homeless people that look better than me, what is wrong with me, she thought. She walked into the kitchen and she became sick to her stomach. The kitchen was a mess; dirty dishes were stacked in the sink and spilled over to the counters. The garbage was in the corner; it was full and threatening to spill over. Sitting next to it was another bag of garbage that was tied and should have been taken outside already. No way, I can�t live like this, she cried. She had never lived like that and she wasn�t going to start. Besides, this isn�t her house and it wasn�t right to do this to his home. If he came over there was no telling his reaction.
She was going to clean the kitchen but she couldn�t take it and needed to clean her own body first. She went upstairs and walked into the shower, washed her hair and put the conditioner in while she shaved her body. She thought she would need more than one razor with all the shaving she needed to do. She scrubbed her body three times and when she finally felt clean she stood under the stream of water and rinsed her hair and her body. She stepped out of the shower and she was about to put on something of his and she decided she needed her own clothes to do what she needed to do.
The whole process of cleaning the house took hours and she was exhausted. Everything from the shower, to wearing her clothes and cleaning the house was like therapy. Like she cleaned out the feelings of self-pity. She needed to move forward. He hadn�t called once since he left, not that she would have known because she turned the ringer off. Right after she called her office and told them she would need the week off, the only time she talked was to whomever answered at a take out restaurant. She went to the computer and searched for apartments. She obviously knew the city and knew what area she wanted to live in. It would definitely be an adjustment, going for the comforts and freedoms of such a big house to a small one-bedroom apartment but she didn�t grow up the way she lived with Nick and it wouldn�t take her long to get accustomed. She printed out her list and decided she would look at the apartments the next day and make her decision. She gave herself three days to make her choice of her new home.
She was becoming excited about the possibilities of her own things, new things. She wasn�t going to take anything from this house but her clothes. She was glad she kept all her things in storage when she moved in with Nick. She might get a few new things at a time but at least she would have an apartment full of furniture and there would be no sitting or sleeping on the floor. She printed out a list of movers and would check them out as well. She was tired and decided to take another shower before she climbed into bed, she smiled, tomorrow was definitely the first day of a new beginning.
Home
Full Circle
Chapter 2