KwanQuo is a Linux command line application (I bet that means it won't run under FreeBSD) that takes input from the operator and produces output based on that input by way of Kwan Quo's Declarations of Insurmountable Opportunity[1].

Kwan Quo is the Zen Master of Aralia, who achieved enlightenment during a heavy session with a package from the Book Of The Month Club, but that's not important right now.

Kwan Quo's Declarations of Insurmountable Opportunity are conceptually similar to, but textually different from, Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies.

The Oblique Strategies are a set of cryptic statements to contemplate in the event of one's creativity, mainly in the audiovisual area, hanging fire.

The Insurmountable Opportunities are a set of not-entirely-cryptic statements to contemplate in the event of one's creativity, specifically in the area of writing stories, hanging fire.

The Oblique Strategies themselves are available on the internet, with Eno's permission so far as I can tell, at rtqe.net.

The Insurmountable Opportunities are right here.  You can see all of them at once by looking at the source code for KwanQuo, which rather spoils the effect, or use the KwanQuo program itself.

Using KwanQuo:

0. Get to a command line.
1. Put your problem into words.
2. Invoke KwanQuo.  You can either type 'kwanquo' (sans quotes) and press Return, to see a lot of extraneous rubbish and be prompted for your difficulty, or type 'kwanquo' followed by a space followed by the difficulty.  You should probably put the difficulty in quotation marks, but that may not be strictly necessary.

KwanQuo will perform an analysis of your difficulty and return a specific set of three of the (currently) 115 Declarations.  There is no random element involved other than the query.  If you get no joy immediately, change the wording.

I find that the results tend to be creepily apt, but your mileage may vary.  

Several of the Declarations may appear silly.  This is intentional.

Sample runs:

---------------------------------------------------
$kwanquo

KwanQuo -- Cryptic Advisor For Fictioneers
Copr. 2004 R. Forrest Hardman
Free software, absolutely no warranty,
distributed under the terms of the
GNU General Public Licence (GPL), version 2.

To avoid seeing this message again:
   kwanquo "What is plot?"
   kwanquo "My characters are lifeless!"
...and so on.


You face an Insurmountable Opportunity.
Please phrase your story problem precisely,
for the answer is contained in the question.
>My characters are lifeless!

 The Declarations of Kwan Quo:

  1) Don`t let it be serious|amusing.
  2) Are there enough ducks?  Yes, seriously.
  3) There are many decaffeinated brands that taste
     just as bad as the real thing.

 Also see Antony Flew`s DICTIONARY OF PHILOSOPHY,
 page 327, column 2, starting at about line 20.
---------------------------------------------------
$kwanquo "What is plot?"

 The Declarations of Kwan Quo:

  1) Reciprocity.
  2) Don`t forget the lights and the camera.
  3) It`s a solution, not a problem.

 Also see Antony Flew`s DICTIONARY OF PHILOSOPHY,
 page 164, column 1, starting at about line 34.
---------------------------------------------------

The use of the Dictionary of Philosophy (I have the Revised Second Edition) is optional, but then what isn't?

____________________
[1] The phrase "insurmountable opportunity" was swiped from Walt Kelly.
