| A Day in the Life of Spasmodic Sciurid |
| Welcome to my head. This is where I do most of my thinking, daydreaming, and hallucinating. However, it is also where I get bored in. Instead of discribing me, I'll just show you what I'm REALLY thinking. Enjoy. 6:15 p.m. - After about 2.5 hours of sitting in front of computer and doing nothing in particular, Spasmodic Sciurid stands up and walks outside of office. She slowly procedes to enter the basement and play her guitar 6:38 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid realizes that she sucks at guitar. Depression overcomes her. She walks back up stairs to complain to CBM on MSN that she sucks. CBM is not online. SS mutters inappropriate words. 6:42 p.m. Realizing that there is nothing to do on the computer, she walks outside the office in order to get some Chocolate Chip Cookie dough ice cream. Mother spots Spasmodic Sciurid. Mother says, "Why don't you play piano? I'm in the mood to hear some Christmas music." Spasmodic Sciurid mutters in head words that are unappropriate to write on a site veiwable to all ages. " I quit piano becuase I hate it." Mother answers back "No, you quit becuase you didn't like the songs the piano teacher gave you" SS thinks to self "as far as you know" Mother procedes to complain to poor Spasmodic Sciurid. "Why don't you help out around the house more? When i was a child yada yada blah blah" Spasmodic Sciurid stopps listening. Annoyingness of Mother gets to Spasmodic Sciurid and she thinks of a desprate way to make her shut up. None occurs. Mother says "Why don't you and I go get some wood together to make a fire?" Spasmodic Sciurid does not like the idea of mother/daughter bonding time. "No! I'll go get it!" Spasmodic Sciurid says quickly. She looks on coat rack and sees her Mother's ugly work cardigan. Spasmodic Sciurid realizes how desgustingly retarded she must look in it but puts it on anyways. 6: 44 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid takes her car down to shop and parks. 6:45 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid gets old pick up (she needs a truck to put the wood in) and drives it to where the wood is. She nearly gets stuck in smelly mud twice. Has to back pickup up after getting out. Ticked off. 6: 48 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid begins to grab nasty, muddy, smelly, and spider infested wood and take it to the pickup about twenety-three feet away. Loads about 12 pieces becuase she'd rather be at home on computer. 7:12 p.m. SS heads for home. She is nearly stuck in a large mound of mud. Ticked off. 7:14 p.m. She reaches her home. She knocks on door hoping her mother will aid her in carrrying all the wood around the house (a great length of around 70 ft) Mother laughes and then frowns when she sees the wood. "NO NO no. You weren't supposed to get THAT wood! its much to .... Wet to burn!" Ticked off. 7:16 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid begins to carry wood around the house after Mother says she will get on old clothes and help her go get differnt wood. Spasmodic Sciurid (actally) makes 6 long trips, carrying precisly 12 logs. Trip 1: uneventful Trip 2: Cat jump into pickup. Spasmodic Sciurid screams at it and waves arms. Cat runs in fright Trip 3: Spasmodic Sciurid drops piece of wood on foot. Loud curse words were exhaled. Ticked off. Trip 4. uneventful Trip 5. Cat jumps in pickup again. Spasmodic Sciurid screams at it. Cat runs away at high speeds Trip 6. Spasmodic Sciuird is overjoyed at being done. 7:22 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid gets ticked that mother is not coming out to help her. 7:26 p.m. Spasmodic Sciuird gets done taking logs to back and looks inside to check on fact that mom is not coming out. Insides she sees that Mother is inside rearranging fake flowers in pot above fire place."Oh! are you ready to go? ok lets go!" Spasmodic Sciurid curses under her breath. 7: 27 p.m.Spasmodic Sciuid jumps into drivers seat of pickup and slamms door, pretending it to be her mother's head. As soon as Mother was in the pickup she jets off. Things like " Well maybe you should try to peel out some more!!!" and "WOOOH... your an aggressive driver" come from her mother's mouth. SS smiles at fact that Mother is scared to drive with her. 7:28 p.m. Mother tries to make small talk with Spasmodic Sciurid. SS does not allow this. She answers with short answers and humms loudly. 7:29 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid and Mother reach destination. Mother shows Spasmodic Sciuird equally wet wood and they procede to take it to the pickup. Mother pretends to think she is the boss by saying things like " Don't get those pieces, get these ones, right here." and "maybe if you could get some of these..." Ticked off. SS wishes she were on cruise boat with CBM. 7:35 p.m. Mother almost slipps and falls in mud. "Wow! its rather slippy behind the pickup! hehe!" Spasmodic Sciuird laughes at retarded Mother and takes wood to behind the pickup. Almost slipps in slippy mud. Mother laughs. Ticked off. 7:42 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid and Mother head for home after collecting a lot of wood. Mother makes stupid comments about how Spasmodic Sciurid should be driving. Spasmodic Sciuird flares up at Mother. Mother is sad. Spasmodic Sciurid is Happy. 7:44 p.m. Both reach home. Mother dodges out of her duties of helping carry wood by returning gay pickup to shop and bringing home Spasmodic Sciurid's beautiful car. Spasmodic Sciurid nearly trips and greatly injures herself. Also, she drops wood, hurting her hand. (You see, there was lots of rough stuff on the wood and it was ripping off my skin when it fell) Cuss words were used. Loud cuss words. 8:00 p.m. Spasmodic Sciurid ends her carrying duties just as Mother returns from returning car. Spasmodic Sciurid wonders why it took her so long. ticked off. Spasmodic Sciurid is happy once she realizes that she got the ugly cardigan very dirty. Here is the (dirty) ugly cardigan 8:01 p.m. SS begins writing this 8:02 Spasmodic Sciurid eats. During dinner corny jokes were made and lame small talk was accomplished by her parents. Spasmodic Sciurid read comics. SS's mother complains about SS to SS 8:03 Spasmodic Sciurid returns writing this and is still writing. In short, Spasmodic Sciurid wasted her whole night getting wood for Mother when Mother didn't even start a fire. Ticked off. |
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| - Squirrelly Spasmodic Sciurid |
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