Babies are just so cute! Especially those just reaching the age where they're learning to speak. A friend called me just a few moments ago, and somewhere along the course of our conversation, she put her 2-year-old sister on the phone. Listening to the little one mumble unclear words out while addressing me as "Kor Kor" just brightened my day up. I miss little kids. I admit I'm not very good with them, but I still like being around them - just to see them do the adorable things toddlers are meant to do. Trying so hard to understand baby language is another amusing thing about interacting with these younger versions of ourselves.

It's is a terrible terrible feeling to cause someone to shed tears. Even more so if the person shedding tears is a good friend. Sometimes people just don't know how far we're pushing another person's limits. Apparently we went too far today. And for that I feel great regret, heartfelt sorry, and deep remorse. I shall remember that words, if not careful when used, make horrifying weapons.

Dinner was rather unusual. I got to eat Kelantan Laksa. This is like a once a year affair at my auntie's place. Another aunt comes down from Kota Bharu every now and then, and she whips up a nice table full of ingredients for us to mix our own Laksa, according to our preferences. Tonight we had two types of noodles to choose from. The normal noodles one finds in their Laksa bowl, when pronounced in Hokkien, sounds like "Lah-Soh". And the other which sounds like "Lah-Seh", is a little like "Kueh Teow" but slightly narrower, and a bit thicker too. With all the numerous ingredients to choose from, and also home-made Kelantanese sambal belacan, there's no way the meal didn't taste good!

A hundred brand new white cotton T-shirts all nicely folded, packaged, arranged and stuffed into another humongous clear plastic bag, weighs about 35KG. Try sitting that on your shoulder for transportation purposes and you'll find that it's in no way any easier to handle like some people think. The package is just to huge to balance, and when you finally do get it balanced, you're pretty much out of stamina to carry the load back to your car. But then again I'm just a pint-sized, underweight Asian guy who has not had any exercise in almost 3 months. So who am I to complain?!

There's now also a "quotes" section in this site. There should be a link in the contents frame above.

I've made a list of tangible items I plan to buy sometime in the near future, if I somehow manage to save up enough of course. If anyone feels that they have too much cash and don't know how to spend it, do feel free to put a smile on my face!

CATS - The musical is going to cost me an arm and a leg, plus maybe my liver and a kidney. I just found out today that the 40% discount tickets have all been sold. So my friends and I are left with the normal priced tickets, with maybe 10% off. Now I have to decide whether I want to sacrifice between RM150 and RM200 to watch the musical, or save the cash for Mervyn's Oakley Square Wire 2.0 Fund, and miss this chance of a life time. Why is it I'm always having to make the toughest decisions in life?

I was hoping to see Korea take on Brazil in the Fifa Word Cup Finals. Unfortunately, Germany ruined that by beating Korea 1-0 just now. So now if I don't get to see Korea get into the finals, I sure don't want to see Brazil get there either. Now I want Turkey to win their semi-final round on Thursday against Brazil. Ha Ha! Am I fickle or what?!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I've uploaded pictures to the "photo" section of my site. Do click on over for a look see.

Weather is extremely warm today. My parents are complaining that I look very "Charn". I guess I have to agree. Too much mental, physical and emotional daily activity is wearing me down way too fast. "Retreat", "escape", "get-away", "hide", "rest", "relax", "peace", are some words which mean a lot to me at this moment.

To be tied up from 7:30am till 6:30pm on a Sunday with the same issue is way too tedious. I must learn to spend my weekends in favor of personal rest and relaxation. A movie once in a while with someone special sure couldn't hurt. But first, a special someone has to be found! Sadly, the people who I'm fond of aren't fond of me; yet the people who are fond of me, I am not fond of. Such is the unfortunate situation I've been forced to face for the past years of my life. I so wonder how long more this will go on.

Received a call this evening which brought back some mixed feelings. On one hand it's nice to know that she might not have lost interest in me. On the other, I'm not too excited about her being interested in me. Mismatched personalities have its pros and cons. But I previously told myself that I'll play it through to the end, and so I will.

Hottest soccer match of the year was at 2:30pm today. There's not much I can say about it since I missed it. Had class to go for at that time. But I realised that my class was less than half full. And even work after that seemed a little quiet. So few employees around. Most of them took half day leave. Some started walking in again after the match was over. I even heard that some other companies gave their employees half a day off. Or they took a short two hour break and had their staff gather around an extra large TV to watch the game. Don't you just love employers in Malaysia?!

Did I forget to mention that it's my dad's birthday today? Yes I wished him already. But we're all not into celebrating anyway. Heck! I've only seen him for less than 20 minutes today! What more is there to say?!

Fifteen minutes of my time is worth RM2 in the corporate world. Fifteen minutes of my uncle's time is worth RM250 in the corporate world. I simply hate comparison! Humans shouldn't compare each other. I shouldn't be related to a man who's time is so valuable. But alas, we DO compare, and I AM related to such a person. All I can say is that maybe one day, just maybe my time will be just as valuable as his, if not more!

It's weird how things never go my way. Two weeks ago I was heading for Kuala Kubu Bharu, but somehow took the wrong route and ended up at Genting Highlands. Today I was heading for Genting Highlands, but somehow ended up at Kuala Kubu Bharu. Well, at least both times I still made it to my destination successfully.

I've just come to know that the temperatures at the top of the hill are still as cold as ever. Although the sunshine burns a bit more than it does down here, it's still a nice change of environment. The air is much fresher too, and scenery as good as it gets. I should make it a point to drive up there at least once every two months, just to escape to routine life I have down here. Sadly there isn't much to do up there.

Hartamas - the latest place to go if you're into KL night life, or so they say! I went there just now for a drink. But it wasn't as happening as most people described it to be. Maybe it's because today's the first day of the week. However, I found the place quite good for mamak-ing. They've got fresh air, a clean environment, reasonably priced food and friendly service. No complaints about the food's quality either. What more can we ask for?

I've begun to realise my passion for serenity. And also how I feel my entire system slow down when my senses come in contact with the element of water. I find peace by standing in a light drizzle, listening to that almost silent dripping sound rain droplets make when lending into puddles of water. Furthermore, I'm able to relax my entire mind, body and soul, when I imagine myself at a waterfall. I will describe this place of escape in a proper page at a later time. In any case, I'm glad to have learnt about this at this moment in time. Now I know where to look for myself.

Lately I'm quite often told that I'm photogenic. I find it so hard to believe because I used to find it hard to smile at a camera, which is why I didn't have many photos taken. But now, I tend to be a little more relaxed and I guess that helps. I suppose it's nice for people to see a natural smile in a photo. I enjoy the praise.

Kite flying is great fun. One should do it every now and then, if not for being different, then just for the pure joy of it. But one must also remember that if he/she is an amateur, a venue with strong, constant winds will greatly enhance the experience.

I returned home after 'mamak' today at around 12:30am, half an hour past my curfew thinking that my dad wasn't home yet. To my surprise, he was already sitting in his lazy-chair watching TV. I think this must be the first time in which I stretched my curfew without his permission, and he didn't make a big deal out of it. Heck! He didn't even ask me where I went! But I shall not ask for too much. I will stick with my curfew as often as possible, and leave things between my dad and I nice and peaceful.

 Nothing much to report.

O.C.D. - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Today was the first time I heard of such a thing. I was told that it's the medical term for extremists, such as perfectionists. I wonder how true this is. But it sure makes sense to me! I guess I too suffer from a mild case of this O.C.D. Thank goodness I haven't become a psychopath like some other people who walk the street.

It would be nice to have someone to call your own. But how nice could it possibly be if because of this someone, you're forced to hold yourself back, and not be all that you are?

For the past one week, I was so hoping for something in particular to happen. But now that it seems like its happening, I feel somewhat sad and lost. Such is the life of fickle-minded person.

Someone pointed out something very interesting to me today. He himself probably doesn't realise the enlightenment he has given me. I've summed it up and concluded that every positive aspect of a person, can at the very same time be a negative aspect we tend to overlook, and vice-versa. So let's not think that a person is TOO great, or TOO terrible. Some good comes from every fault in a person.

Life is full of challenges. But in overcoming these challenges, we build character and increase in value.

Note to self: Remember to wear spectacles when attending functions which involve stage performances. I missed out on a great deal at a fundraising dinner just now because I was sitting half a soccer field away from the stage, without my specs. To think that there were three petite, sexy, skimpily dressed Chinese female dancers right in front on that 6 feet high stage. Sigh... but then again, I guess that if I want to see more of that, all I really have to do is take the time and drop by Emporium Grand Cafe over the weekend after 11pm. The sights there are just arousing!

The thing is, how can I expect anyone to know me, when I myself haven't the slightest clue as to who I am. I guess the only way to find my true self, is through the eyes of another. It is about time I figure out who I was, who I am, and who I will one day become.

I had my job interview before class today. The company's Human Resource Administrator seems to be looking for someone to come in for 2 hours, twice a week, to do little jobs such as filing, research, compiling information, photostatting and printing. I guess that's what happens when you have 50 staff in your hands, and you work at the regional office of an international company. The thing I like about this middle-aged lady is that she, as the HUMAN RESOURCE ADMINISTRATOR, actually asked me how much I wanted to be paid, and then said that she'll probably let me have it if I'm hired. I personally think that I was asking for way more than a guy doing this kind of job deserves. But hey, you won't hear me complain!

The rest of the day was pretty hectic. running around trying to complete all my errands in one day since I had the use of the car, which has become a really rare thing these days. The number of phone calls coming in and out too has tremendously hiked. I'm very worried about my bill when it comes this month.

It seems my hopes for some personal time for R&R is far outside my reach.

Such a shitty feeling it is to have someone in distress look you up, but not find anything you offer helpful.

I have never ever come across anyone who confuses me more than Cessca does. She doesn't laugh at my jokes, but instead can't stop laughing when I don't joke. You try to make sense of that! Today she told me that she likes me more than the usual kind of friend. And in return, I told her again that I like her more than she likes me. But still, this relationship of ours has a long way to go. It has only been 4 days since we met. And I'm not in any hurry.

Slept a bit more before getting a call from Cessca. Talked to her for a while and then I went back to sleep. Woke up again for my 2pm class. Kok Song came to fetch me, and then he sent me back at four. Slept some more until Cessca called again. Chatted with her a whole lot more before she had to hang up to answer an incoming call.

I called her after dinner but her sister answered instead. Cessca was having a bath. She called me back later and we talked even more! Well, I do feel a bit bad because each time we talk over the phone, she's the one bearing the cost. When she said that she'd call me tomorrow, I insisted that I call her instead.

My Mamak session tonight was the first chance I got to discuss my little issue with someone else. I guess I'm worrying myself for nothing. But I still have my doubts.

Talked to her over the phone for quite a while at night. I'm beginning to think that she is serious about me. But I dare not be confident. I still know not whether I want to get into anything with her. Yet I still play along. Guilt plays about at the back of my mind. But I can't seem to help it. Maybe I just might allow things to happen. Only time can tell.

We skipped the seminar on public speaking which was scheduled for after lunch. Heck, none of us had any need for such a thing because we're all quite comfortable speaking in front of crowds as it is. Went back to the apartment and dumped everything in the fridge. Then Jared and I took a nap while the other four did God-knows-what in the living room. We wanted to go for the outdoor activities which were planned for the later part of the afternoon. Unfortunately, delays made us late for the starting of those activities hence we were left out.

We did not have much to do with our time so we strolled around the resort, and ended up at EcoPark. It was sort of this place for us to take a step back into nature. I made a new friend there, YouYou. It's a cute little grey monkey who took my hand so willingly and nibbled on my finger gently. It was a nice experience because the last time I tried to touch a monkey, it jumped on me and left scars on my neck. A moment later, I saw a couple of YouYou's bigger cousins in a cage. The way these bigger monkeys walked was quite amusing and I tried to mimic the movement. I think I was successful enough because my fellow members were having a good laugh. We also sat down for a short animal show at the park. It's quite cool to see animals so well trained at entertaining the fans.

Banquet dinner was out in the open, like every other meal we had there. Everyone was all dressed up to sit down at a place with no air conditioning and little breeze. But the view of the lake was good enough to occupy the delegates who went crazy over photo-taking. The jetty was a popular spot. My fellow members and I too took the opportunity to snap some nice pictures. Cessca, rom KL Central asked to take a picture with me too, and of course I would never turn down such an offer. The rest of the dinner was so-so. All the screaming and shouting we did during the awards presentation did our throats a lot of harm. But it was still fun.

More photo shoots after the banquet dinner, and then we retired to our apartment to wait for the KLCC members and some other Leos to show up for our small gathering. Before we knew it, the placed was packed, with people we knew, and didn't know. Word just went around so quickly. We hadn't enough cups to go around so each shared the 12 coffee cups which was available. We also had some Lion dignitaries attend our party and they also joined in the fun and laughter. More screaming and shouting took placed there.

I do believe this is the first time I'm getting involved with a girl for a very long time. It started as a simple joke back and forth about being a couple and then breaking up, and then getting back together again. I felt that Cessca wasn't too serious about any of it so I just continued to play along.

The night ended about almost 4am. Thoughts of Cessca still floated about in my mind, wondering if she was really just playing around, or if she was actually serious about me. I myself were not too sure about how I felt. What if she were serious and I weren't, or vice versa?!