Umbrellas

Umbrellas!

    I am quite impressed this under-rated gadget. You see, I was walking under the scorching sun with a friend today. Trying to change the topic of conversation, first thing that came to mind was this little contraption in my hand. So I decided to write a short essay about it.

    I have come to find it most useful. When it rains, of course the first thing we look for before going out there is the umbrella. Opening it provides protection from the little drops of "2-parts hydrogen, 1-part oxygen". When we're out under the sun, it provides much appreciated shade from the scorching rays. The great thing about it is that it can move around with you. Meaning that you don't have to stand stationary in one spot and wait for the clouds to clear, or appear. Just pull out the umbrella and you're back on your way.

    Another good use for this little pole with that strong piece of fabric attached, is as a deterrent to others. Ever noticed how effectively it wards off unwanted company? I mean this in two ways. Firstly, you can swing it at hostile company. Trust me, it hurts! You can use it to poke too, which is just as effective. Secondly, if you just feel uncomfortable around certain people, like smokers at a bus stop, open your umbrella, and hold it really low so that the pointy ends are at face level. Then just spin it around a little and you'll clearly notice your unwanted company take a few steps back. Marvelous eh?!

    I'm sure you have come across umbrellas with those 'hooked' handles. They came up with such a thing to provide us with some way of hanging it up. But of course, we as innovative beings, found that it can be used as an extension of our limbs. Picture this, you're sitting on the couch right in front of your TV. You find that your remote is lying on the floor 5 feet in front of you, but you just don't feel like picking yourself up and walking that 3 steps. What do you do? Reach for your umbrella instead and use it to hook and drag the remote over. Mission accomplished, with a couple of calories saved. This form of umbrella usage is not uncommon. You'll realize that lots of people do it when they can't reach stuff, or are just plain lazy to budge.

    Also, with all this water rationing going around these days, if you have limited water storage containers, open your umbrella and flip it over! Just think, if your umbrella is water proof on the outside, wouldn't it be so on the inside as well? Furthermore, you get a bowl-like container, which can hold lots of water. But mind you, if you have collected water this way, I advise you to keep your umbrella where ever it is. Moving it might cause threads to break and your umbrella to fall apart.

    Ever realized the fancy designs and colors umbrellas have? Why is this so? The use of an umbrella certainly has nothing to do with how pretty it looks. But alas, humans are slaves of vanity. So much so that carrying an umbrella open over your shoulder became a trend at one point in time, in the late 70's and early 80's if I'm not mistaken. Fashion designers had models catwalk with their fancy raincoats on, and their uniquely designed umbrellas in their hands. Didn't anyone mention that it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors?

    Come to think of it, how true is this statement about bad luck anyway?! There's also a saying about always carrying an umbrella when leaving your home, because you'll never know when it might start to rain. Does this saying apply to the people living in the Sahara too? Do they even keep umbrellas? Or maybe they have their own saying which brings the same meaning.

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Specially dedicated to that person whose umbrella I shared today. (3/5/02)