[house lights dim and a spotlight illuminates
a single stuffed, autistic crow in the loft]
[stage lights fade up, a light sonata from the orchestra pit]
[enter JACOB and GARRETT dressed like mimes]
JACOB: "Bobbo's back for the weekend.
how about a practice Sunday? morning?"
GARRETT: (index finger on chin) "yesss.?!"
JACOB: (in a feline voice) "Mendel..."
[jazzy upright bass solo]
GARRETT: "Well, I guess I'm going to Yemen!"
[beethoven's 5th from the pit]
JACOB: (runs out the door) "HRNT!!"
GARRETT: "The video's done."
JACOB: (standing in the hallway making 'the face') "IS IT NOW?! WHO
IS
EVERYONE?"
GARRETT: (doing 'the bicycle')
JACOB: (blank expression) "YO."
GARRETT: (looking out in space) "EY. OW YOU DOIN'?"
[enter stage right MIKE]
MIKE: "EY... MATT GOOD BAND."
[exit MIKE]
GARRETT: (painted green and crab-walking away with head miraculously
on
backwards)
"So, i'll see you Sunday then, old chap."
JACOB: (standing on a giant floor keyboard pretending to wear a eleven
gallon hat and eat beef jerky) "Quite so."
[house lights become blaringly bright and 50 planted 'members of the
audience'
throw cardboard bricks and 1/2 lb. bowling balls at each other and
feign
injury]
[enter FOLEY, segue into 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' sung by
the entire cast]
[exit FOLEY]
[enter BOBBY]
BOBBY: (lookin' as crazy as Jack Nicholson) "Where'd he go?!"
[orchestral 'Limp Bizkit' music swells]
[EXEUNT]
THE END