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| Hi, my name is Cloud Strife! You may remember me from such games as "Final Fantasy 7" and "Ehergiez"... I was also a guest on "Final Fantasy Tactics"! Yep, i used to be one famous muther... until Squall stepped in with his sissy-a** Gunblade.... *sigh* What the hell was that thing, anyway?? Okay, I'm off for the interview! |
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| [stomps out his cigarette and cues Cloud to begin with the interview] Alright, please take a seat Cloud and we can get started. |
| [nods in agreement] Thanks for having me here, Cid. |
| What is? The couch?? |
| No, the shirt man!! The shirt!!! |
| Oh. |
| So, Cloud, what's up with havin' that huge-a$$ sword? It's like gonna cut people up when you walk right by 'em!! |
| HAHA! It's harmless, really. |
| Harmless?!? You killed 6 pedestrians over the weekend?! |
| Damn!!! Are you serious?! Only 6?! Did you count that tourist guy eating an elephant ear? |
| If it had raspberry jam, then yes. |
| Damn! |
| Cloud-- Many viewers would like to know: Do you wear boxers or briefs. |
| Boxers. |
| Which villain do you dislike more, and WHY? Sephiroth, Jenova, or that punk-a$$ Shera? |
| Jenova, because she called me a puppet. Why is Shera an option?? |
| So, what's the background on this whole...Sephiroth...thingy?? I mean, are we REALLY gonna get 'im back for stealing my Thigh-Master 2000 DVD collection?! |
| Um.. that's a big MAYBE, Cid. |
| Say, Cloud.. What's that recipe for makin' peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches? |
| Hmm.. I tend to use crunchy peanut butter and Grape jelly. YUMMMMmm! |
| I thought you used "I can't believe it's not Peanut Butter...spray." |
| Naww, that stuff's weak. I can't get it to spray!!! |
| What's your favorite vegetable? |
| Brusselsprouts.... HAS to be Brusselsprouts. |
| Ewww, yucky!! |
| So, what's your take on violence? Do you truly feel it's necessary in solving your differences? |
| Screw violence!!! I hate it!! We should all kill and murder it!! [jumping up and down] DEATH TO VIOLENCE!!! DEATH TO IT ALL!!! |
| Are you enjoying this candid interview? |
| Yes I am.... It's very pleasant to be sitting with you here, Cid Highwind. Could you please pass me the tea? |
| [scratches his head] Well, I think that covers it for this time! Thank you, Cloud, for accepting my interview. |
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| You know this is Polyester, right? |
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| Tea Time |