MUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (a.k.a. CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 3)
PLOT-A police woman becomes romantically involved with a lesbian vampire.
VIOLENCE-I don't remember seeing any blood, even when someone is killed with a stake.
SEX/NUDITY-That's really all this movie is: loads of T&A and some very long softcore lesbo make-out scenes.
WHY I BOUGHT IT-I've been a supporter of Seduction Cinema ever since they came out with THE EROTIC WITCH PROJECT, and I will always watch a movie with Darian Caine or Debbie Rochon's name on the cover. I thought BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER was ripe for the kind of spoof treatment that Seduction Cinema is famous for doing (see GLADIATOR EROTICUS and EROTIC SURVIVOR for the best examples), and couldn't wait to see what they'd cooked up.
WHY I WAS LET DOWN-There is no such movie as MUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! The movie is actually a 1999 Seduction Cinema release called CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 3 (which I reviewed a long time ago). This was just unbelievably deceptive to me. It's the exact same movie, all they did was re-record the dialogue so you can hear it better. Wow. How hard could it have been to make an actual erotic parody of Buffy? I could write it, so I know these guys were fully capable. What makes matters worse is CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 3 wasn't even good. It was padded with scenes from the original Frank Terranova classic CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE, and really just showed a lot of naked girls. The girl who plays "Kathy" (I guess she's be "Muffy" technically), the main character, has the ugliest tan lines you ever saw. She takes a slow-motion shower for what seems like 10 minutes. Actually, the CARESS 3 video tape features some cool audition footage at the end that isn't included on the MUFFY disc! I felt ripped off the second I realized that this is just a cheap re-packaging of an old film.
SAVING GRACE-This DVD features a 15-minute short film called VAMPIRE QUEEN that stars the awesome Darian Caine and the always intense Debbie Rochon. It's directed by and stars Terry West as a lonely comic book artist that gets tricked by the Vampire Queen (Rochon) into being her gopher. West is pretty funny (see him as the clown in THE SEXY SIXTH SENSE), Darian is in top form, and Rochon once again shows why she is one of the greatest actors working in independent film today. She's just amazing to watch, it's a shame the film is so short. It would almost be worth the $14.99 I shelled out for this baby.
NOTES-What's most unbelievable is that Seduction Cinema is still selling both MUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 3 to their customers via their online catalog. Click those links to read the identical plot descriptions, and check out the re-designed cover art.
(September 2002)