HEATHER AND PUGGLY DROP A DEUCE
PLOT-Heather becomes suspicious of the new hot chick that's dating her mutant sister Puggly.
VIOLENCE-Double penis amputation, throat-ripping, and head-crushing.
SEX/NUDITY-Lots of cleavage and two (clothed) comedic sex scenes.
WHY I WATCHED IT-The characters Heather and Puggly were first introduced in a flick called 12 INCHES OF DANGLING FURY, which I adore.
THE DOPE-One thing I've found that makes reviewing indie films difficult is trying to use words to describe something visual. Often, the only way you can make this happen is by drawing comparisons between the movie you're writing about and something that it has things in common with, things that perhaps the reader has seen or heard before. And this is the hardest part about reviewing films by writer/director/actor Chris Seaver, because he really does have his own special brand of filmmaking. What would I say to someone that's never watched one, and is interested in checking this film out? I have no idea, so I won't try now.
Seaver has a gift for writing interesting characters and putting them in bizarre situations, and HEATHER AND PUGGLY DROP A DEUCE is probably his most accomplished effort in those terms. All the actors deliver their lines like comic book characters who've just discovered hip-hop slang (and are obsessed with using it to describe genitalia), the laughably despicable misogynist "Teen Ape" appears long enough to prove once again that stupid girls are attracted to assholes, Johnny Douchebag (from FILTHY McNASTIER) makes a return appearance, cowboy and indian characters square off, and my favorite favorite actor in the whole wide universe, Debbie Rochon, makes a cameo appearance as Puggly's mom.
But the real shining stars here (apart from Seaver's inventive, engaging plot) are Lauren Puschkin as Puggly and Meredith Host as her sister Heather. These two exemplify b-movie acting perfection, as their facial expressions and vocal inflections are larger than life, exaggeratedly comical and totally hilarious. Puschkin and Host always go for the gusto, bringing Seaver's crazy-ass vision to life in a way that none of his actors have in the past. Never before has a film featured so many scenes of female characters farting and shitting! Whether you're 6 years old or 56, you'll find something to laugh at here.
But I must make special mention of Noel Williams as "Venus", the villain of the film, because she chews up every scene she's in. Given that Puggly is probably the funniest character Seaver has ever come up with, Williams was faced with the daunting task of holding her own in several scenes with Puschkin's off-the-wall, energized mugging. To my delight, Williams comes across as Anna Faris (from SCARY MOVIE) performing Divine's character from PINK FLAMINGOS. Strong, confident, and spouting the demented dialogue like the finest Shakespeare. Although she appeared in Seaver's short SLUMBER PARTY CHEERLEADING BUCHIACHS GET SLAUGHTERED, OH WORD? in a small role (and I was impressed with her brief turn in BLOODY GIBLETS), this was the first time she's been given anything of substance to really dive into. She does that, and much more, with a sadistic glee that brought tears to my eyes.
Every time I start to wonder when Chris Seaver's brand of toilet humor and gore is gonna start to run dry, become tired and repititious, he makes another flick that mixes more and more filmmaking/writing craftsmanship in with the lovable crudeness, further solidifying his position as my favorite indie auteur and reminding us that not only does he know what he's doing, but he's gonna keep doing it and challenging our sensibilities as well as our tear ducts.
MEMORABLE SCENES-When Puggly is beating a character with a wrench, she actually yells out my name. I'll remember that moment for the rest of my days. Now I'm getting all emotional! I wonder how long my credibility as a reviewer of LBP films will last if this information gets out.
NOTES-Visit Low Budget Pictures to see about getting this and other Seaver films for your private collection.

(April 2004)

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