| Take me and break me, And make me strong like you |
| ever think things are just to messed up..like its all just a show for anyone else....like the truman show i think it was called (crazy movie with jim carey) for those of you that havnt seen it, its pretty much a movie where truman is put in his own little world and its a tv show, but he doenst know...and people watch his everyday life in his own little world thats cut off from the outside world.....and he realizes it and tries to escape....its crazy so anyway, i was just thinking that it makes alot of sense and how my life could just be a tv show for everyone.... how everything is just to wierd or boring that it all seems staged....for all i know it really could be and there could be cameras watching me type this....i dono its just really wierd when you think about it.....i dono whatever.... so i went to a party tonight....that was.....just another reminder of how much i hate 98% of the people in my school....the girl who threw it was alright...but i couldnt take her friends...you know the kind of people that i hate....the braindead cheerleader types, the people who think drugs are part of the nutrition pyramid, the preppy people who think they are better than everyone else...and when you throw them all together and twist in a weezer sing-a-long with them all....you can imagine how much fun that could be....so its safe to say i called home and waited outside untill they came.....i dont know, part of me thinks thers something wrong with me..well besides the obvious...everyone else likes these people that i hate....whats wrong with me that makes me hate them.....why couldnt i talk to anyone there without a funny look in return? whats wrong with me.....i dont think ill know.... i was talking to someone tonight and they were talking about how college was a new beginning....thats sweet, i want to go to college right now....i dont need highschool, the next few years are going to be a steady decline in fun....fuck school, i want college, the girls are better in every sense....none of this stupid relationship stuff where theres no emotion.....you are free....i could go play guitar outside in the grass....i could go light incense, i could do whatever i wanted whenever i wanted....i could go for walks...i could leave whenever i wanted as well as return....i need somewhere where there are parks, where i can sit and watch people walk by, and wonder what they are thinking, i need small towns like here with coffee shops and little resturants where i can sit at my leisure and relax, read a good book.....anything....i dont know, im through that "i dont want to grow up stage" now i just want out of highschool.....people say highschool are the four best years of your life......well shit, if these are the best four...i cant imagine the future...at this rate, with how highschools going so far, ill prolly get hit by a few cars, fall out of a few windows and so on....christ.....i hate this....someone take me away from here thats what my screen looks like right now!!! |
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| im talking to brooke right now...shes really neat...i wish she loved me, i tell her i love her alot....i do, but she laughs and waves.....and breaks my heart.....but its cool, you know im used to it....thats what girls do after all.....shes prolly reading this....thats good , you should love me....or atleast tell me you do.....and then you can laugh and wave, and atleast ill be happy |