| No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. |
| I've had alot of inspiration lately and i thinks its pretty cool. I think most of it comes from my confusion about relationships and tonight i had more inspiration. I got slaped in the face again tonight by reality. I kinda realized that all im goin to be this year is a freshmen. No matter what happens or who likes me or who i like its going to be, "But hes only a freshmen. Its really annoying. Another thing that i found out sucked tonight was senority. The defeinition of senority is "a privileged status attained by length of continuous service". Tonight i was doing the usual flirting with people i have no chance with when my friend came over who happened to be older and kinda got all the attention and "lovin: so to speak ( not the right word but i couldnt put my finger on the right word) He explained it to me in one word. SENIORITY. Its prolly cool when your the one with seniority but it sucks when your the one that is being ignored and "lovin less"for lack of better wordage. Im sure when its my turn that its gonna rock but right now it sucks to think you have a chance and have someone come over and blow that thought out of the water. I thought i was intresting and makeing some intelegent convo for once and that all just stoped. But its cool, no hard feelings. I'll get my turn later. He has "attained that status by his length of continuous service. yeah....it just sucks to like someone and be talking to them and have a good time and someone else comes over and gets there attention and you just kinda get brushed to the side. Once again going back to band...the other night we were sitting at band and we had just finished the run throught and we were sitting there in the huddle and arik came to the middle and he was like "everyone look around, this is one of the last times that you will ever play in marching band with all of these people." I realized how that sucks hardcore. I have made so many friends and it sucks to think about how most of them arnt gonna be here next year. I was thinking and everything is really like that. All sports are like that and life in general is like that I figured out that you only have one chance at everything that you do and to make the best of it. It just kinda sucks that all of the good times you had are gone. There are defenately more to come but i dont think its going to be the same. Im sure this will happen more and more now that i am thinking about it and it just kinda makes me sad. To think that all of the people i had so much fun with and have developed friendships with are going away either to college or not comeing back to marching band and that really makes me sad. There is a positive point though. i will have to make up my own catch frazed because i wont have anyone to pose off of. lol it just kinda hit me when he said that. I will never ever have a chance to do this again with the same people and that really sucks. I know things can get better too but its just a strange feeling to know that you will never have the same oppertunity to do some things again. make the best of every situation. Dont get mad over dumb things just live life to the fullest. Back to girls. I think im the dumbest person in the world when it comes to girls. I start to like these girls that i can have or have no chance what so ever for either age or just other reasons and i start to like them. Then i realize after i am already sucked in that i have no chace what so ever. It kind hits me like a fist and then leaves me hanging to think about it and bitch about it for a while. I have no idea what to do. I think im gonna go with my theme song by the ataris and "think im giveing up on love" atleast for now anyway. I just think its hopeless for me. And another thing that bothers me which is kind hitting home on the whole senority thing is that since a while ago i feel like i'm being ignored. Not just by a few people but by a whole bunch of people. Like for example the other day at the parade i was walking and i saw my friend. I yelled over and said hi to them and they just kinda looked over and gave me the " oh its only you" look and turned around and kept talking to their friend. And i find it happening more often as the days go by not so severe in all cases but ill be talking to people and they'll see a friend walk by and tell me to hold on a minute. thats all good and fine but then they leave with their friend. That just makes me feel like a piece. I just feel like i deserve to be talked to also. It seems like everyone else is more important than me |
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| GEORGE BUSH |
| CHIMP |
| STRIKEING SIMILARITY |