poser

     Now that i think about it i am most likely the winning canidate for biggest poser. Really everthing i say is someone elses. Whether its "sweeto's or slut", those i stole from seested. The screaming out the window (for those of you who know what im talking about, thats gelosi's. And there's other stuff like using "the buisness" and then the "with the ......of the...." which i stole from bob.

      It's not even like i even think about using them i just hear them and i kinda use them untill they die. It doesn't end there but i dont wanna totally bore you to death so ill stop there. It's kinda like what my Global Studies teacher said today, We immitate what we find to be cool or good and so on and we try to refrain from what we see as not cool, mean, all that stuff. And i guess that i just think that there all cool and funny and i want to be like them in most of them.

      It's not even like its an occasional thing, i use their words all the time. I know its probobly annoying to them but lately its been gettting annoying to me too. And i can't even stop. It's an addiction. I guess im just not cool enough to think of my own cool catch frazes.

      I though i had a few like "shucks" and "what the technicolored Phuck" and i thought they were pretty kick ass but i disregarded them and used the other ones? I dono its kinda like the quote " immitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Youll find that i can relate almost anything to a quote ive found. Thats kinda annoying too. I am starting to find everything i do annoying to myself. I dont know if other people are annoyed by it too or if its just me? i dono. I figured out i dont know alot lol.

Like i said i am starting to annoy myself too. Which brings me to my next topic. I stole this from my Global Studies teacher too (POSER) anyway she said " what we hate most about other people is what we hate most about ourselves. I think thats why im finding myself so annoying. I have this friend that flirts with everyone. I was starting to get pissed and then i stopped to think and i realized that i do the same thing and i kinda know how people feel when i do it. I had no idea how annoying it was. Its not like i had a chance with the girl anyway but it kinda put things in perspective for me.

      Everything i do is either poseing off someone or just annoyingly mine. I always look at peoples bad points and think that their so dumb but really most of the time im probobly doing the same thing without realizing it. And its not even like ive changed either. I realized that what i was doin was annoying but i still do it. I guess its like the quote (everything to quotes) (isnt that annoying too) what the hell, anyway, "bad habits are hard to get rid of". They really are. I really have been thinking alot about alot lately and i can smell the smoke (poor attempt at humor) anyway and i really have to turn everything around and see why its so annoying to me. Could it be, maybe, that im doing the same thing?

Another thing that i found out is that i have, for the most part, really bad choices in women. I always go for the older girls. I alway think i have a chance too and i kinda just let it go for a little bit and then it always seems like reality just comes out of nowhere and hits me like a fist. I didnt even see it coming. Its just one day i think about it and realize that i have no chance in hell for like 10 different reasons. I always kinda thought i had a chance and then when i really looked at it even if they did like me im just a freshman so. Its not like i set my goals extra high but i just seem to like the wrong people. Nothing ever seems to work out. Right now im kinda likeing being single because you can do whatever you want but then theres the constant want for a girl friend. Its wierd and it pisses me off that im so dumb.