essence

Now that I think about it it�s sad how immature everyone my age is. (me to
sometimes) here�s how it pretty much is. Everyone likes the most popular girl in
school, you no the one, Blonde, cheerleader, hot, yeah that�s her. Everyone likes her
even though she treats everyone like shit and is really conceited. But everyone keeps
on drooling over her. She has no personality at all but still everyone likes her. All just
because she's "hot". Everyone is saying how much they "love" her.

Really I don't think that most people my age really understand what love is. I
mean I thought I had an idea and I think I love this girl. And then a friend read my page
and told me that it�s about so much more than what I wrote or even though for that
matter and she really explained it in depth for me and it's mostly what I thought but
more and there�s a really intense feeling about losing them.

Everyone talks about how they "love" each other and all and then in two weeks they
dump each other. It�s not even like the one didn�t like the other either. It�s mutual and
they both say that they hate each other. But a week later they go back out and love
each other again. That's not love that's lust.

Love is that feeling in your head and stomach and everything when you just can�t
stop thinking about that special someone. It's also much more than that but that's a
whole other page so ill get to that later. It�s kind of like this quote I found, "Love is like
swallowing hot chocolate before it is cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but it
keeps you warm for a long time." and really that�s how I found love to be. Sometimes
love hurts and I guess it�s like the Hot Chocolate is to hot and it burns you. That�s just
part of the whole love thing. Pain. Everywhere I go I find myself thinking about her
and wishing that she was there with me and that�s the great part. But with that there
comes pain and the though of losing her. The pain is one of the worst things I've felt
ever.

I just realized what everyone meant the other day about there being more to love
than making out. I always heard older people that I know say that and was like�
What the hell are they talking about� and a few days ago the light bulb just went on. I
realized that there�s more to love. Like I suddenly found myself thinking about sitting
under the stars with the girl I love and just talking and enjoying life and nature. (trust
me Hatboro sucks for stargazing but it's better than nothing) It�s about telling the girl
how much you love them. It�s the small things that you will remember later like
holding hands and sitting under the stars not making out. So cherish the small things
like the hugs and the little kisses on the cheek. By the way I actually got the chance
to sit out under the stars with the girl I loved and it was all I expected to be. It was
great to just lay there and talk and look at the stars and hold hands :-)

Back to the other people I hope they've matured as much as or even more as I
have this summer or my guess is that there going to be in for a rude awakening at the
high school. I mean we all are a little again because we are used to being the big kids
and bossing people around but when we get to the high school it�s going to be a big
change to being the little kids again. I think ill be fine cause I don�t think that greatly of
myself anyway but I think all of the popular people are going to have a hard time.