"Argh, Willow, I cant stop thinking about you. Im in love with you little one.Please just let me in"
"No, im not letting you in, this is just some sick joke, or trick or something to get me to let you in and then you`ll leave me dead for my friends to find, or worse you`ll turn me... and oh godess im babbling..."
She took a few gulps of much needed air. Then turned away. Angelus felt like his insides had been ripped out, with that one small action she had almost broken his unbeating heart.He wanted to cry, it made him feel weak, but he didnt care he just needed to stop her walking away, but that damn barrier!
"No baby please, little one, its not a trick i cant get you out of my mind, i close my eyes your there, i open them again and your still there, please willow, listen to me"
"No you`re lieing, you couldnt, wouldnt love me, im just plain old willow, research girl,slayers little friend,ugly , boreing, shy. No one wants me, they all want her, not me."
She looked at him with tears glistening in her eyes, and a truely heart breaking look on her face.
<Why would he want me, just plain old me?>
She repeated her thoughts...
"why would you want me, Im just willow?"
Because your willow, sweet, smart, funny, careing, brave..."
She snorted..
"BRAVE, im not brave the only reason im not catatonic right now is this barrier is keeping you out"
"little one please listen to me, I LOVE YOU!, do you think i would be here now if i didnt, im risking rejection from a mortal, it goes against everything i am, but i cant help it i need you"
"Angelus, godess, i want you too, but i cant be hurt again, all the people i love leave me, they dont want me they want buffy, Xander, You, Oz, they all love her or leave me, i cant go through it."
With that she turned around and shut the doors in his face. All she wanted to do was let him in and never let him leave, but fear and pride wouldnt let her!
She turned back and looked at him still stood there, forehead pressed to the glass, hand palm up flat to the window as if to try and touch her, she put her hand on his from her side, and one solitary tear fell down her cheek, as she took her hand away and closed the blinds!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A feral howl went up outside her balcony doors and then the sound of someone hitting the floor and running away at full speed. Willow collapsed in a boneless heep, sobbing and rocking back and forth. She just couldnt hold it in any longer.
<I cant beleive him, I want to but I just cant, He probably hasnt told the truth in over two centuries, why would he be telling me the truth now>
"Oh sob Angelus sob"
She suddenly pulled herself together and stood up, she`d had a moment of clarity and knew what had to be done. She started throwing things in a bag, clothes, nicknacks and finally some photos. Then her eyes fell on the charcoal drawing Angelus had done of her while she had been sleeping one night. He slipped in before the barrier had been returned and had just sketched her while she slept. He didnt wake her, hurt her, or leave any nasty presents like he had with the others, just the sketch. He had signed it with an ornate A so she knew who had done it. She should have realised he meant her no harm when he didnt harm her that night, just slipped in and slipped out again. But, she wasnt thinking about it, she pushed that knowledge to the back of her mind and just carried on packing, tucking the picture in the top of the suitcase.
She still had her laptop turned on so she decided to write notes to her family and friends and print them out and then leave:-
Dear mum and dad,
Im sorry, I just had to get away, I couldnt stay in sunndale any longer. There is too much pain and hurt here. I love you both very much, and even if your not here very often I still think you are good parents. I will miss you, I`m not sure if i will be back but we will see.
I have written letters for my best friends, please could you pass them on for me. There is one for someone that I want you to leave on my balcony and it will be collected. Dont tell the others about this one, just leave it outside my balcony doors. It will be gone by nightfall.
Love always
Willow
She placed the others in envolopes and tagged them to refrigderater.
She took the car keys from the hooks and put her suitcase in the trunk, and then she was gone, driveing down the highway away from sunnydale and away from the man she knew she shouldnt love. Never looking back.
* * * * * * *
