Title: Anything

Author: Goldy

Synopsis: *Another* version of the meeting that we didn't see.

Spoilers: Some for 'BTVS' S6 but major for 'The Gift'

Disclaimer: Joss. Marti. Upn. Fox. *coughwbcough.* Nope, not mine, don't sue.

A/N: I wrote this for a narrative for English so it's very G rated. It's mostly a chance for me to get in Buffy's head and throw in Angel. Also, I have quite a lot of background info. in it since my english teacher doesn't watch the shows.

Dedication: To the one and only Ducks. I absolutely worship the ground that women walks on and nearly cried when she said she was taking a break from the buffyverse. She was the best B/Aer of us all and I'm going to miss her.

Feedback: So, do you think I'm going to get an A?

The smell hit me before I even got there. The salt attacked every nerve in my nostrils until I was surrounded. I loved that smell. It's the smell of freedom and warmth. All the things I can't have.

I got there and parked my car. I could hear the surf crashing against the jagged rocks that made up the tip of the shoreline. The waves were just endless shadows in the endless darkness. The darkness that he, and as much as I hated to admit it, I were bound to.

Vampire and slayer. Good and evil. Both of us lived in the dark

It seemed fitting somehow that we should meet here. Not the darkness, but at this beach. This beach represents normalcy. Normalcy. Something that both of us crave but neither of us can ever have.

I gave a quick glance in the rearview mirror. Not that checking what I looked like was all that important at the moment, but it was normal, so I checked anyway. I found a girl with blonde hair and deep green eyes staring back at me. She had deep circles under her eyes and it looked like she hadn't bothered to brush her hair in a week. She was, without a doubt, me. Before I would have cared about my hair and the effect my lack of sleep had on me. But it wasn't then, it was now, and I didn't care now.

I opened the driver's door and gave a little shiver as the breeze brushed over me. I flipped my blonde hair over my shoulder and walked towards the surf where I knew he would be waiting for me.

My senses didn't let me down. He was there, face turned away from me, body rigid, looking out at the dark expanse of the ocean.

I followed his gaze and looked out at the expanse of this great giant. I gave another shiver. This time it wasn't from the cold.

He didn't say anything, so I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in his head. I could barely believe all the irony myself. The one girl chosen in the entire world to fight the demons that walk this earth, the slayer, died. Her best friend, a witch, had resurrected her. Currently, said slayer was standing on a beach in the middle of the night with her ex-boyfriend. Who just happened to be a vampire. A vampire with a soul that prevented him from being a killing machine. A vampire that would lose that soul and wreak havoc on the world if he got a true moment of happiness, which only a particular slayer could bring him. A vampire that insisted on meeting his ex-honey/slayer/killer of his race in the middle of nowhere to make sure she was really alive.

And people thought that Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed.

"Buffy," he finally said, piercing me with those dark-haunting eyes of his.I gave him the once over. He looked pretty much the same as he had before I died, and considering he isn't supposed to age, I guess is a good thing. Pale face, brown eyes, curly hair, tall, handsome. yep still Angel.

"Angel," I answered, stating it as more of a statement rather than a greeting as he had.

"You're not. dead," he managed with some difficulty.

I raised my eyebrow. "You noticed that too, huh?"

"Yeah, I noticed," Angel said darkly. I sighed and sat down on the sand. Why is it that every time something bad happens I have to make joke? There is absolutely nothing funny about being brought back to life. I looked up to the sky, anywhere but his at face. I remember, vaguely, what it was like being in heaven. Having no worries, knowing that all my friends and family were safe, being happy..

Angel sat down next to me. "I'm sorry."

I looked at him in surprise, "For what? I was the one who made a joke about this!"

"For not being there for you. For not saving you when you jumped off that tower to save the world. For not protecting you."

I gave a little shiver at the memory. I remember what that was like. Seeing that the world was going to end and that the only way to stop it would be to kill my sister. Her blood was the key to hell, and her blood was flowing. Once the flow stopped, all would be right again. And then it had been so clear. She was my sister. We had the same blood. If I sacrificed myself, everything would be okay. The world wouldn't end, my sister would be alive, and I could finally be in peace.

I felt tears spring up. "No. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have changed what happened. I had to go and no one would have been able to stop me."

He didn't say anything and I don't think that I really changed his mind any. That's just the way that Angel is. He thinks that everything is his fault. If I didn't know any better I'd say that he actually liked feeling guilty.

I kicked off my shoes and let my feet sink into the cold blanket of sand gracing the beach. I watched as the grains slid between my toes. Isn't it funny how people can just walk barefoot in the sand for hours? I've always liked the beach, even after I became the slayer. The smell of the salt in the air and the way the sand feels between your toes is not something that I'll ever want to give up.

I got up and walked over to the part where the water meets the sand and let my feet freeze in the cold water for a minute before I buried them under the sand again, watching in morbid fascination when the sand clung to my bare skin. I liked the way that the sea looked at this time at night. It's a calm serene feeling just watching the moonlight sparkle on the water.

I could feel Angel's eyes watching my every move and it didn't bother me. I know that he isn't a part of my life anymore, but it still makes me feel safe to know that he will always be there to watch out for me.

I turned around, "What are you thinking about?"

He stood up, and from who knows where, pulled out a stone, and skipped it perfectly across the water. I frowned and looked around for a stone that I could use to try that nifty trick. I found a nice round orange one lying as if waiting for me on the sand. I picked it up and tossed it out across the water.

It promptly sank.

Angel smirked at me and I gave him my best, 'Oh, no you don't!' glare. I just know that skipping rocks is a vampire thing.

"I'm thinking about how good it is that you're back," Angel admitted, "I didn't do to well while you were gone."

I was about to make a nice comforting reply on how if there was any reason to come back from heaven he was definitely in the top three, when a vampire dropped out of nowhere. I really hate it when they do that.

Especially when they bring friends.

I counted at least four of them in front of me and that wasn't counting the ones that I could see out of the corner of my vision. Of course. This just had to happen now. You'd think that Angel and I could have just one normal conversation wouldn't you?

"Slayer," the apparent leader hissed at me menacingly.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I got it, already. You vamps mention that every time you see me! I think it's time to get some new writers!"

Then, all coherent thought left my head as I dropped into what I called "slayer mode." The rest of the world seemed to fade out when I'm fighting. Drop. Kick. Duck. Ouch! Kick. Punch. Role. Stake. Dust. And again. Down. Stake. Dust. Easy. Ow! Harder. No problem. Flying kick. Duck. Around. And dust. The remaining three I finished off within no time.

Hey, maybe dying made me stronger.

I glanced over to see how Angel was doing. He had his hands full of two vampires closing in at the same time, but he seemed to have a good handle on them so I left him alone. As one of the most vicious creatures ever when he didn't have a soul, he was an amazing warrior, and he plunged his long pointed wooden stake into the last vampire's heart without preamble. I barely even blinked when the vampire exploded into dust. I wish that all demons turned to dust when you killed them. I hate it when you get green goo in your hair that just never seems to want to come out no matter how many times you shower.

"You okay?" Angel asked me, and the concern was evident in his voice.

I shrugged dejectedly, "Fine. You?"

"I'll live." Angel fixed me with one of his deep piercing stares that clearly stated that he knew I wasn't okay. And he knew that I was going to tell him.

Men. They're all the same-living or dead. Somehow their egos just keep growing and growing and growing.. Maybe I'm a little more down in the dumps than I had been before the fight, but that didn't automatically mean I had to tell him what was wrong.

He raised his eyebrows and I sighed. I folded my arms over my chest and looked back out at the ocean. It was so big and so dark. The night made the water appear black and it was scary. Like it might swallow me whole.

"Is this all that my life is?" Okay, maybe I was going to tell him.

Angel looked at me in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I replied testily, "is this it? I die. I come back. I fight vampires. I do my sacred duty. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then, I die again. And then they bring me back. And then I start all over again. I don't want this to be all my life is."

"If you could would you really stop slaying? Could you live every night knowing about what goes on in the world after dark and not do anything about it?"

I knew that the answer to that was no. He knew that I knew that the answer was no. But sometimes I wish that I didn't know what went on after the light went out. Sometimes I wished I could say, "Screw this end of the world crap. I'm going to Disney World."

Angel came up next to me and tentatively took my hand. I smiled a little at the contact, knowing that it was probably leading into dangerous territory because of the whole "forbidden love" thing, but not really caring.

"It's part of you, Buffy. Being the slayer is who you are. It's part of your journey."

I rolled my eyes. My god, if he wasn't a vampire I would suggest to Angel that he should become a priest. My journey. Yeah, right!

"My journey?" I'm surprised when I heard that my voice was quivering a little. "You mean like going to Disney Land journey?" I smiled a little at my own joke. Angel didn't. Then again, he didn't even know the joke, so I guess it's all right.

He squeezed my hand and I felt a slight shiver go down my spine. Forbidden love, I reminded myself quickly.

"Not a trip, Buffy, a journey," Angel said as if preaching to a little girl. "Your journey. Your life. You don't know what might happen a day from now, or a month from now, or years from now. Who knows what lies at the end of your journey?"

I get it now. I think he's speaking metaphorically. Of course, I never did all that great in school, so I don't really know. Although, I gotta admit that he definitely sounded smart. That's my Angel, always the wise one.

Probably got that way from being about 250 some odd years old

"So, you're saying that this stuff is all leading up to something else? Like the final battle that I have to win, or the apocalypse, or whatever? And that once I get there, who knows what will be at the end of my path?"

Maybe I'm smarter than I think. Because I think that's exactly what he was saying.

But he didn't make a reply. He held my hand and we listened to the waves crash against the shore. I could feel the sand sticking to my feet and I smelled the salt of the ocean. The breeze was chilling, but refreshing, and I could almost pretend that we were a normal couple doing normal coupley things. And who knows? Anything could be around that corner in that road.

Maybe even walks on the beach in the sunlight.

End

 

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