WhatIsAbuseTraumaTwo

Different Types of Abuse and Trauma - Page Two

*May Be Triggering*

What Is Rape?

To some, this may seem like an odd question to ask. But I think it is quite important because I have found different definitions of what rape actually is. There are two definitions that I have found, these are -

Rape is any sexual intercourse, anal, oral or vaginal, however slight, with any object, by a man or a woman, upon a man or a women, without effective consent. In defining rape as sexual intercourse, it is necessary to define intercourse -

Intercourse is not synonymous with penetration. If it were, non-consensual french kissing could meet the definition of oral rape. Intercourse is more limited. It includes: vaginal penetration by a penis, object, tongue or finger; anal penetration by a penis, object, tongue or finger; and oral copulation (mouth to genital contact or genital to mouth contact).

The reason I find this confusing is because in some places rape is defined as my first explanation but in others it is defined only as - forced vaginal penetration by a man's penis upon a woman. I know that this is the legal definition of rape in Britain, but many, many places define it as in my first definition.

I am not sure which one I agree with, perhaps I will start a debate on it sometime. If anyone has any opinions feel free to e-mail me because I would be very interested to hear other people's views.

What Is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse can takes many forms. Emotional, verbal, financial, physical and sexual abuse can all be involved in domestic violence. Domestic abuse is primarily about control and power. You don't need to be hit or physically hurt for it to be domestic abuse, if your partner accuses you of being stupid, unattractive, a bad parent, unfaithful, useless or any other similar fault, this is domestic abuse and it could be the start of a downward spiral which could escalate into other forms of physical violence.

Please remember that just because you are married or are partners with someone you are not obliged to have sex with them. If somebody forces you into any sort of sexual activity when you are sick, tired, sleeping or you just don't feel like it, this is abuse. Marriage does not give a man a right to demand sex from someone, so please don't feel it is your duty as a wife to have sex if you don't feel like it.

Domestic abuse can be extremely serious and can end in serious injury or even death. It is very difficult to get out of it because sometimes, despite abuse, you still love a person and although you know what they are doing to you, you believe it is your fault and that sometime they might change. The chances are however they won't. No matter how many times they cry and say sorry and say they cant live with out you and they won't do it again and they will change, it very rarely, if ever happens.

You don't deserve to be abused, you are not bad, or stupid, or annoying or anything that whoever abuses you calls you. It's not your fault, please never forget that.