Hewitt Parkinson and the Philosopher’s Pizza Shapes

Chapter 9 Past The Snake, Onto the Action!

HRH did indeed keep a very close eye on professor Snerpert. Every single time Snerpert looked at the group, he got annoyed at their constant staring. But HRH’s panic started when professor Thorny came up to the whole school and announced. “Professor Bumblebee buzzed off the Magical Government. Get it? Buzzed? Bumblebee BUZZED off to the Magical Government! Bumblebees Buzz! Ha, ha! Oh, I make myself laugh sometimes.” “Professor Bumblebee is gone? That means that the Philosopher’s Pizza Shapes are going to be stolen TONIGHT! We have to do something! I know! We could dress up like women and do little dances in front of Snerpert to distract him!” Hewitt suggested. “I agree with that idea.” Roger agreed. “Well, I can’t dress up like a woman. I say we go down past the snake, and get the Philosopher’s Pizza shapes before Snerpert can!” Hayley said. “That’s a better idea.” Roger agreed. Later that night, HRH snuck underneath the invisibility suit and headed to the forbidden room. They got in, and to their amazement, the snake was asleep. They crept past it, and saw a trapdoor. They heaved it open, and dropped in. There, they saw a man. He was dressed in green, and he had yellow sunglasses on. “Hello, I am Shurang. I am the guardian of what lies beyond. But first, I must apologise.” The man said. “For what?” Hewitt asked. “I took your stereo without asking.” Shurang answered. A look of anger swept over Hewitt’s face. He extended his arms out to his side and he dove at Shurang. He was spinning around, and his arms were flailing every where. Time slowed, and Hewitt's right arm connected with Shurang’s face. His other arm came and hit him too, as did his right arm again. Before Hewitt’s left arm could connect though, Shurang leant backwards, and time sped up again. The rest of Hewitt’s punches missed, and Shurang landed a kick square in Hewitt’s face. Hewitt crumpled, but before Shurang could rest, Hayley aimed a roundhouse kick at him. Shurang grabbed her foot, and time slowed again, as he lifted her up into the air, and threw her towards Hewitt. She also landed in a heap, and time accelerated back to normal again. He turned to face Roger and saw that he was in a stance. Shurang put himself into his own stance, and charged at Roger. He threw a kick at Roger’s side but Roger blocked. He quickly threw a punch at Rogers, face, but just before the fist connected, Roger grabbed it, and held it in place. Shurang looked startled. Roger hit Shurang squarely in the stomach and he went flying. Roger though, was still holding Shurang’s fist, and dragged him back towards him. He kicked Shurang in the face and this time, he let go. Shurang flew through the air in slow motion again, and time again, accelerated. Shurang landed but was up in a flash. He took a run at Roger, and flew kicked at him. Time slowed once again, as Roger turned his upper body sideways, and leant back wards. As Shurang’s legs were next to him, he grabbed them and used Shurang’s momentum to spin around, and throw the unfortunate guardian into wall face first. Time accelerated once again and the wall cracked and broke. Shurang fell down to the ground, and didn’t move. Roger stood still for a minute looking triumphant, until he felt it would be best to revive his friends. He headed over, and filled a bucket with water from a conveniently located tap. Once all of HRH were back on their feet, they headed to the door that was nearby. They opened it, and saw to their horror, that the room was infested with plants. HRH hated plants, especially these ones, as they were colourful and they weren’t in fashion. HRH could barely look at them and they had well over three quarters of a mind to turn back through fear. But the determination in Hewitt’s face showed the determination that he had to stop Snerpert. They closed their eyes, and ran passed the plants. They ran headlong into a wall, and they figured that they were past the plants. They risked opening their eyes and saw a door there. They opened the door, and there, passed out on the floor, was another Behemoth. “Phew, at least we didn’t have to call that one pea brain.” Roger said. Hewitt shushed him and they crept past it. Again, they were faced with a door. This one looked rather confusing. It was a horrible looking green. They opened it and walked inside. There, they saw an enormous box shaped triangle. It looked like a box and smelt like a box, but it was obviously a triangle. Everyone knew that you couldn’t walk into a box shaped triangle. You would have to turn it into a triangle shaped triangle. HRH would have to change it some how. They looked around and saw two potions sitting on a table with a piece of paper. HRH hurries over to the bottles and read the paper. It said:

One of us will help you,
But the other one shall not.
You want to go on past this place,
But choose not of quick haste.
One potion will put you to sleep,
The other will guide you,
On how to make a triangle shape!

“Look! One of these potions is Obsidianistic Potion! Remember when Newman made it in class? It gave off those weird fumes! They are exactly the same as these ones! Oh, but the other one only has enough left for one person. Hewitt, you go. No one likes you… I mean, you’re the best wizard here. Roger and I will go back and try and find Bumblebee. Good Luck.” Hayley said, and ran off with Roger. Hewitt sculled the correct potion and headed over to the box shaped triangle. An odd sensation of belonging overcame him. He walked up to the box, rolled up his sleeve, and began shape changing. Moments later, Hewitt stepped back to marvel at his handiwork. Now confronting him was a lovely triangle shaped triangle. Hewitt wandered through it. He walked down a dark path, and he came to a bit of light. It was coming from a fire. He picked the fire up (it was one of those olden time torches) and looked ahead. There, he saw a twist. It went to the right. He followed the path, and came to another twist. This one, led to the left. He continued down the tunnel and ran headlong into a devious door that was skulking away in a corner. He opened it and looked inside. He saw a rather large twist, but this one, wasn’t just a change in direction.

Hewitt just about swallowed his own tongue. He walked into the large open room, and couldn’t believe his eyes. He could see the person who had been trying to steal the Philosopher’s Pizza Shapes all along. “Sit down Parkinson.” The villain said, indicating a nearby chair. Hewitt obeyed and sat down. Chains came out of nowhere, and before Hewitt could react, he was tied to the chair. Now that Hewitt was sitting, he had time to look around. It was a dusty old place that looked like it hadn’t been used for a couple of days. It had huge pillars that went from the ground all the way up to the roof that was 5 meters above Hewitt’s head. On the ground, was a comfortable looking armchair with a pile of bundles resting on it. The thing that interested Hewitt though, was that the mirror of Tnawyll was in front of the villain. Or more accurately, the villain was standing in front of the mirror. “What are you doing?” Hewitt asked the nasty piece of work. “What am I doing? As if you don’t know. I’m trying to get the All Powerful Philosopher’s Pizza shapes out of the mirror! I’m looking at myself, I’m seeing myself there, so why isn’t aren’t I getting the Pizza Shapes? Help me Master!” The outlaw cried. “Use Parkinson! Use Parkinson!” the bundle cried. The criminal came over to Hewitt and untied him. He hastily threw Hewitt in front of the mirror, and Hewitt was himself looking back out the mirror. He saw himself standing alone and taking out of his pocket, a packet of pizza shapes. He just about swallowed his tongue again as he felt a packet of pizza shapes land in his pocket. “Well, what do you see?” the ruffian said. “I see myself with my family.” Hewitt said. The villain hastily shoved Hewitt out the way and started to smash the mirror. “Hewitt lies! Let me talk to him.” The bundle cried. “But master, you are not strong enough!” the criminal replied. “Don’t talk back to me Roger.” The bundle said. Roger fell silent, and started unwrapping the bundle. Hewitt looked at the bundle of robes, and wished that he hadn’t. There was the most gruesome thing he had ever seen. It looked like a baby, which had severe defects. These defects included hair loss, snake like-ness, ugliness and evil-ness. “Parkinson, Parkinson, Parkinson. You really think you have any reason to stand up to me? Why don’t you just hand over those Pizza Shapes in your pocket like a good boy. And you may die standing up like your father.” The thing said. “Liar!” Hewitt bellowed. “Oh, so I see your faith. No, you’re right. Your father was a coward. He died begging me for mercy. I see that you are not like him.” The ugly object said. “I’m not going to give you the Pizza Shapes!” Hewitt bellowed. “Seize him!” the creature bellowed to Roger. As roger threw himself at Hewitt, the door burst open. There was professor BFTP with his wand out. “Nihil Memor!” he cried with his wand pointed at Roger. Roger deflected it, and it grazed Hewitt. Hewitt lay, totally unaware of what was happening. Roger threw himself at professor BFTP, and grabbed him around the waist. The creature on the chair conjured a fire nearby, and Roger threw the professor into it. As BFTP was flying to his death, he managed to shoot a curse back at the bundle but Roger threw himself at it, and passed out on the floor. The thing on the chair had to flee, as the door opened again. Chapter 11 Recovery The next thing that Hewitt knew was that he was lying in bed. He couldn’t remember the whole year (which might have a serious dent in his future education). He put on his glasses and looked around the room. He was in the sick bay and there next to him, was Roger. Roger stirred, and woke up. He too looked around the room and seemed to be in the same state as Hewitt. He got dressed and left the sick bay. Hewitt followed soon after. The end of year feast was on when Hewitt and Roger found their way back to the common room (it took them thirty-three days and twenty two hours to remember the password). They then followed everybody to the dining hall for the feast. They looked around, and saw pictures of huge giant ants covering the walls. Everyone began to eat, and when all plates were clean and all stomachs were full, Bumblebee stood up. “The end of another year is just a few minutes away. Before that comes, I would like to say a few sentences. First of all, congratulations, to Trewartha for their victory of the Findit Cup, winning their last three games, that Hewitt and Roger were unconscious for. Also, congratulations to Trewartha for winning the house cup. I’m meant to present the cup to them, but before I do, I am going to rig the final result. As you all know, except for Roger and Hewitt, the points stand as thus; in last place, Davy, on ten points. In third place, is Barnes, on two hundred and thirty six points. In second place, is Weightman, on two hundred and thirty seven points. And in first place, is Trewartha, on four hundred and ten points.” Bumblebee paused for a moment. “But recent accounts will provide a more interesting result. Firstly, I would like to award Hayley Greenfield one hundred points, for getting two thousand and sixty three out of two for her last test. This move Davy up to one hundred and ten points. Next, I would like to award Roger Williams one hundred and fifty points for the best martial arts this school has ever seen. I would now like to award Shurang, who is in Davy by coincidence, one point for the second best martial arts this school has ever seen. Finally, I would like to award Hewitt Parkinson one hundred and sixty points for putting up with his fame and still remaining calm, in the face of danger.” The hall erupted into applause. Davy had won the House cup. This was the first time Trewartha had been beaten in two thousand and sixty three years. “This means, that we will need a change in decoration.” He snapped his fingers, and Johnson came running in and changed all of the decorations into pictures of owls, before running off again, without a word. “We won the house cup!” Hayley bellowed to Hewitt. “What’s the house cup?” Hewitt asked. “Well, my brother told me it’s something about house points.” Roger said. “Don’t you two remember anything about the year?” Hayley asked. “All I remember about the year is that I made friends with you.” Hewitt responded promptly. “Same,” Roger said. “Now, I hope that you’ll all pack extra quickly, and get out of my school before I bring down my wrath on you. Off you go, now hop to it.” Bumblebee concluded. HRH hurried off to their common room, and hurriedly packed. When everybody was ready to leave in the school (which was in a couple of ours time because Newman had lost a pair of socks, before finally realising that he was wearing them), they headed over to the goldfish aquarium. The goldfish jumped out the water and landed behind professor Thorny. “Now, everybody, no more then ten to a gold fish. Remember, to start your Goldfish, all you have to do, is snap a twig on them. Now snap to it.” Professor Thorny said, before rolling on the floor laughing and tears coming out of her eyes. Everybody went to some goldfish, and hopped on. There was a delay though, as one of the goldfish had twelve people on it which was two many (get it? TWO many. There are twelve which is two to many. So it’s two many. Oh, professor Thorny would be proud of that one). Finally, everyone snapped a stick on the goldfish, and they were on there way home. “I’m really sorry you have to go back to your house Hewitt. Just when our memory was improving, you have to go and live with Jigglers. I’ll write to you to see if you can come over to my house during the holidays.” Roger said, sympathetically. “Oh, it’s perfectly fine, the Jigglers I live with don’t know that I’m not meant to do magic. I’m going to have a lot of fun with James, John and Jane this year.” Hewitt replied. “Hewitt, you really shouldn’t use magic you know.” Hayley said. “How am I meant to intimidate them then?” Hewitt demanded more fiercely then he intended. “I don’t know. Why don’t you practise your cool martial arts on them so that you may even be able to beat Roger?” Hayley suggested. “No, James won’t get scared of awesome looking slow-motion FX martial arts. He’ll just think it looks funny.” Hewitt replied. “Not, if you’re doing your awesome moves that can really hurt people.” Roger said. “Like that move you did to Shurang.” Hayley said. “Who is this Shurang? I heard his name mentioned by the guy who did that speech, what did you say his name was? Oh, yeah, I remember it, it is Bumblebee isn’t it? So who is Shurang?” Hewitt questioned. “He was the guy guarding the Philosopher’s Pizza Shapes.” Hayley answered. “The what?” Roger asked, again, completely confused. “Oh never mind. Don’t worry, Hewitt saved them, Bumblebee took them again, Nigel Flamin is dead so don’t worry about it. Look, we’re back home now.” Hayley said. “Oh so we are. Well, I’ll be seeing you then.” Hewitt said. “Yeah, see ya.” Roger farewelled. “Bye both of you, have a great summer.” Hayley called to Hewitt and Roger, who where both already walking away.

The End!