11/28/00
JOEL IS A KENNEDY!
There is a picture which suggests( through some strange planetary alignment ) that during
CC camp 1999 Joel had the rare and deadly Kennedy gene. In a recently obtained picture
the Kennedy characteristics stand out prominently. The Kennedys are known for their
charm and ways with women. This would explain what happened between Joel and Jessica
one cheesy pizza strewn night by the campfire. Joel not quite himself didn't understand
the Kennedy influence. Jessica was unable to resist those Kennedy charms.It was
planetary misjudgment on the part of nature, a freakish incident that is never to happen again, ever...
To see this remarkable picture go to the "Cool People" link

11/23/00
FIND YOUR COSMIC POWERS!
Jack Dugger will be signing his book, "Finding Your Cosmic Powers", on Saturday
December 16 at 2pm. He will be at the Boarders at Great Lakes Crossing. Go and get a
personalized copy signed by Melissa's uncle. You never know it may be worth lots of money someday!
2pm @ Boarders on Sat. December 16!

11/22/00
STRANGE NOTE FOUND REGARDING KIDNAP CASE
Earlier today a bizarre email found its way into Melissa's E-mailbox.
According to an eyewitness, "The note was horribly disturbing. The fact that
the butcher tried to cover up his identity, but e-mailed from his work place was the
most horrendous thing." Apparently the note contained references to potato, corn, and pumpkin pie.
All which were reported missing early this week. "We are dealing with an extremely disturbed
individual. Probably a male, with a bandaged leg, and access to an Oakland county computer
terminal." Local law enforcement admits they are stumped. "The killer will probably go free."
The note suggests that tonight will be Turkey's last. It also describes the violent way
the body will be disposed of. The details are much too graphic, but they include a knife, fork, and napkin.
"Paul VanHeulen" should be aware that a killer has been using his name to send violent tidings.

11/15/00
TROPHY RETURNED, TURKEY MISSING
In a bizarre parallel to a national news story concentrated in Flordia,
a turkey is missing under suspicious circumstances. Is it living, roasting, or frozen?
The turkey terrorists refused comment, but local law enforcement isn't optimistic.
"The bird is at the 2nd site. That isn't a good sign, especially
when we are dealing with these sick people."
It is confirmed that numerous turkeys have been consumed by the terrorists before.
"These people are so sick they left a defenseless ham in a car trunk rotting well past
the expiration date. The whole thing was pretty stinky". Local law enforcement
is producing a sketch based on witness descriptions. They are asking anyone who
has information to hide it. They want to solve this one on their own.
Also: Race results will be hand counted pending a judicial review. The deadline is this Friday at 5pm.

11/8/00
LOCAL COACH DEMANDS A LITTLE RESPECT!
On tuesday some of the CC. girls and their coach went to the movies
and to Jonny Rockets. Once there he was served without hearing his requested
song of RESPECT. "All I want to do is hear my song." He proclaimed before
beating the waitress up and demanding respect. He walked out
without hearing his song, or hearing the waitresses sing.
All true except for the part where Coach beats the waitress up