A moments pause when I thought he wasn�t going to budge before he tilted his head back and let loose a bout of laughter that reminded me of the day my pa had taken me to the zoo and we�d seen the hyenas.
When he�d eventually stopped, he said, �Sure, I heard of Kerr - big in real-estate - owns most of the joints along San Jose.�
I whistled - not because the San Jose area was a nice part of town - it was - but the whistle was for a pair of beauts that bobbled by looking like two bald-headed convicts trying to bust out of prison just as soon as that tight dress was loosened. It was the thought of convicts that helped me suddenly remember something�
�Thanks, Sid,� I said absent-mindedly, climbing out the chair.
He looked at me, surprised like, before giving me the usual about not coming round these parts no more. I was walking fast as it was but picked it up to an even brisker pace when I noticed a black Sedan trailing yours truly. It might as well had said, �Billie Maguire says Hi!� along the side in bright, yellow letters.I arrived outside the reason I had left the shoe-shiners hastily (thankfully losing the Sedan), without giving him so much as a single threat as to where my fist would end up if he didn�t give me more info than my joke merited. It was a unisex boutique but unisex meaning that guys my side of the fence didn�t go in, if you know what I mean. It was within the stretch of the San Jose district. The place was called Fancy Dan�s and boy, was that an understatement! Fancy wasn�t an adjective powerful enough for Dan (Dan, Dan, the bum-bum man) - swanky would have been closer, maybe not on the button but pushing in the right direction (unlike his carnal activities).
He continued to eye me like a bomb that still hadn�t been completely defused, so I added, �Wanna drink?� and snuck in �I�m a P.I.� in the midst of a cough. He apparently hadn�t heard my job description as his face lit up as a result of the offer for free booze.
�I ain�t ne�er heard o� no - hic - Joe Kerr be�ore.� Perce said slurred and bleary eyed after only having downed half his drink; being so small meant that the alcohol to blood ratio was a lot more than an average guy�s.
It was then that it hit me - no, not his breath� well, maybe actually his breath as well but something else that hit me was what he�d just said. The part about never hearing about this dame�s father didn�t surprise me. What did was the way he�d said his name: Joe Kerr. Well, I wasn�t the smartest thing since Charlie the Chimpanzee managed to successfully juggle his balls (an exercise that would certainly bring a tear to the eye) for nothing. Joe Kerr - I didn�t know if it was my psychic sense but that name to me sounded a bit funny. In that case, I thought, there was only one person who I could go to.
I left the drunkard of a midget pretending to tightrope across the bar. As I closed the door I heard a sickening thud from that general direction.I took the tram and got off at the next stop. Even though I was still a block and a half from where I wanted to be I thought the exercise would do me good� and as well, getting off here allowed less chance for a fair to be paid.
I rounded the corner and was relieved to see him there. He wore a cap that looked as if it had been used to wipe out exhausts, and that was a shame really seeing as that was the cleanest thing about him. Any who didn�t know him would have thought of him as a jig but a jig he wasn�t - he just had one helluva dirty face.
He had a customer when I got there so I waited nearby, lifting a paper and dropping a tin button into Blind Mike�s box at the kiosk. He said thanks and I replied with a don�t-mention-it.The Giants had won, I was glad to learn. Behind at the time and bottom of the ninth, second and fourth both occupied when O�Brien had air-mailed one over the fence.
�What�s up Sid?� I said, as the chair squeaked below me.
He looked up and gave me the kind of look only reserved for taxmen and lepers. �You gotta nerve showing your face around here,� he snarled, starting on my right first. �What�s the matter with you? Got tired of having working kneecaps?�
�What does it matter to you whether I have or ain�t?�
�If Billie Maguire knows I�ve been loading you with the know, then�� he trailed off. �I for one appreciate being able to breath like God intended and not through some tube!�
�So you�re not going to give me nothing then?� The look he returned was evident that he wouldn�t even spit on me if I was on fire. I pulled the ace from out of my sleeve and said, �What about I go to Billie and save my kneecaps by telling him about you and his mom -�
�Okay, okay! Sheesh!� Sid was no spring chicken but that didn�t excuse him from doing� what he�d done with Billie�s� nah, better not; it�s far too gruesome. It put me off my food for a week when I heard, because I�ve seen Billie�s mom. �What d�ya need?�
�Just a little information, is all,� I said. �Ever heard of a Joe Kerr?� I knew what was coming next.
�I might have, you see it�s my -�
�I know, your memory what lets you down.� I shook my head and reached for my pocket. If I was trying to wangle info out of any other shoe shiner then I�d be reaching for a buck as you�d be surprised how quickly poor memories could be enhanced by the sight of George Washington, but as it was Sid, my fingers searched for something else�I extracted a piece of paper.
�A guy was found dead in the back of an ice-cream van. He was covered in hundreds and thousands -�
�Police say he topped himself,� finished Sid with a sneer.
�Okay, what about this one. A jump lead walks into a bar -�
�I�ll serve you but don�t start anything. My memory still hasn�t improved,� he scoffed.