2-13: My first beta was 196!!! EXCELLENT!!!

2-14: I got a tad queasy today. I don't know if it's actual morning sickness or the progesterone. Either way it was a tad exciting to have symptoms other than sore boobs which I know is from the progesterone.

2-15:My repeat beta was 403. PRAISE God they are doubling like they are supposed to!

2-18: Again I got a GREAT beta! 1240!!! I will have a ultrasound with my local doctor possibly on 2-22 if my out of town RE agrees. Otherwise we will travel to see him on 3-2.

2-20: My progesterone from Monday came back and it was 85. Very good! :) My local OB is really pleased. They will fax the results to Dr. S out of town and I will have a ultrasound for sure on Friday of this week and then again with Dr. S. on the 2nd. Hopefully if my progesterone stays at a good place I can switch to crinone which is a cervical as opposed to the progesterone in oil injections. They are horrid and Brian even hates giving them.

2-21:I may not get an U/S tomorrow. I called the RE's office. The infertility nurse there had originally told me to call tomorrow and see if I would have an U/S this Sat or next. I will be 6 weeks on Monday. Then my local Dr. wanted to do one tomorrow. Well the out of town nurse talked to Dr. S (the RE) and he suggested we wait til next week when we can see more because we probably can't see a heartbeat til late next week.

I really didn't expect to see a heartbeat tomorrow but am dying to know if we have one or two! Sigh! So now I am contemplating going ahead tomorrow or not! Brian wants to wait out of the practicality of saving the $25 copay. In a month or so we will be back where we were but January and February were horrendous with the extra expenses we incurred with extra meds and the extra trips back and for for the extended monitoring. I went 15 days on stims and 9 days of antagon. I was prescribed 40 follistim/15 repronex and 4 antagon and did 60/16/9. The typical stimming period is 8-10 days.

So more than likely I will wait but I SO don't want too!

2-26: I am basically fine. Still REALLY tired and really sick of these progesterone shots. I LOVE what they are doing to keep the pregnancy safe but they hurt so BLASTED much. All the infertility meds combined didn't hurt this much!

Tomorrow is my 34th bday and Brian sent me flowers yesterday. He's so sweet and they are SO beautiful. I am queasy from time to time but no throwing up. I can't seem to eat mexican food which is a bothersome side-effect considering how much we LOVE mexican food.

The U/S is friday!!! I can't wait!

3-1: Sorry I didn't update this on Friday! We were on our way to dinner and a movie and then heading out of town for a weekend at my inlaws. Well the U/S was great! We have TWINS! ACK! :) It was so funny watching Brian. He said, "Twins?" and the U/S tech said yes and laughed. And he said make sure there's not 3 in there! LOL. He's been in a state of shock all weekend but grinning.

Our duedate moved to 10-23 and the babies heartrates were both 119! :) I will post U/S pics tomorrow!!!

3-4: I threw up for the first time this morning. BLECH. I gagged on my toothbrush and lost it. Now I have been nauseated all day. Now we are adjusting! We have a lot of planning to do and I am working on my lists! :)

3-8: Ok my toothbrush and I are OFFICIALLY arch enemies. BLECH! And to make it worse everytime it happens I have to brush my teeth again! I had a sad week in that a dear friend of mine who had been through the infertility battle with me and we were due slightly apart found out she had twins but the one in her uterus didn't have a heartbeat and the other was in her right tube. She had to have a D & C and hopefully she didn't lose her tube. I am praying for her. Please do so too. Her name is Michelle.

I've been told to expect to wear maternity clothes around 12 weeks. At least pants. EEK! Thats only a month away! LOL. Since we've been blessed with furniture and things of that nature (a good thing about being the last to get pregnant) our biggest expenditures will be a double stroller (I am trying to decide which one I like) and a double breast pump since I plan to nurse.

It's so funny how many people think I won't even try to nurse since I am having twins. I sure plan on trying. I have one friend who has successfully done it for 9 months. She does supplement 2 feedings a day. Well that's my update. Next week is spring break and I have to work M-W. It will be SO slow up here! But Thursday and Friday I will be off and then I am taking off the following Monday! So I am looking forward to that break!

3-15: We had our second U/S today! They look great and are measuring perfectly. And their little hearts are just a beating. I have an OB appt next Thursday and I can't wait to hear their heartbeats. I have new U/S pics that I will post on Monday. Baby A's heart rate was 174. Get this - she called after I left on Friday and needs me to come back because she didn't record Baby B's heart rate. So Monday I go back and see them again! Korie will be here so maybe she will want to go!!!

I am still getting sick off and on. Some days it's all day and sometimes it's just a little. I even woke myself up early this am sick. But thankfully hopefully the most of it will be over soon.

3-19: I finally got the U/S pics up! :) I LOVE the Baby B pic. She got a different view on that one and I LOVE it. I was wrong. Baby B's heartrate was 174 and Baby A was 179. Baby B is on my left and Baby A is on my right. According to old wives tales that means two girls and in many ways that would be wonderful, but I am praying for a son and a girl! :). Now that would be perfect. Korie went back with me yesterday and I think she was both grossed out and intrigued at the same time. It was a vaginal u/s so even though we were discreet I am sure she knew what what happening!

3-21: My first OB appointment was shocking. I have good and bad news. 1st of all let me tell you what happened on Monday that I didn't realize was important at the time. Remember I got called back to get a heartrate on one of the babies? Well when I was checking in the lady at front said oh you're the lady that's having triplets. I laughed and said no I am having twins! She said oh I thought it was you. I just laughed and said no not me. I didn't think about it again til today!

Well that U/S was short and we didn't get new pics or anything. Well today at my first OB appt after my exam Dr. T told me we needed to talk. He said he had bittersweet news for me. My first thought was that something was wrong with one of the babies. He said there was no other way to tell me. We have triplets. OMG. I baby split into identical twins. They are sharing a placenta with a thin membrane in between them. I think that's called monochorionic-diamnionic twins.

I started crying. This is not something I wanted and certainly not something I planned for. I have spent 4 weeks thrilled about twins. Brian said are you sure? He's sure. He showed us the pic. They (I think what we had labeled B) are in the same sack. The problem is Baby C (I can't believe I am saying that) is only measuring just past 6 weeks when the other two measured 8 weeks and 4 days. And it does have a heartbeat but it's very erratic.

Technically one of three things could happen.

1. Since it's so far behind in growth and it's heartbeat is so erratic it could die soon and be absorbed.
2. It could die later and possibly cause complications for it's twin.
3. Or it could make it. He said he's seen weirder things happen.

I am EXTREMELY overwhelmed. I never wanted triplets. That's why we decided to transfer only two. The chances of this happening were slim. I have one set of identical twins on my father's side of the family and Brian has none.

My perfect family didn't include that. Please don't misunderstand me. I know it's a miracle and if the baby makes it I will adjust love it no less. But I also don't want to lose both babies down the road. If the baby is going to die I want it to die early. That sounds horrible but if it does die early then the other baby won't be affected.

Geez.I simply am EXTREMELY overwhelmed. Please don't think bad of me for not being overjoyed. I am happy in a way and of course I don't want Baby C to die but this has just really caught me off guard. :(

I go back on April 1 for another U/S to see how they're doing. There's not really much I can do until then. I am a tad scared to get happy about the 3rd baby and lose it but I can't be miserable for 2 weeks either. Wow this is definitely not what we planned when we transferred two embryos.

I should be happy but I am terrified of the baby dying, of losing two and of it living! And of all the risks that come with a triplet pregnancy. I am sure the excitement will eventually come in when I know for sure more of what will happen. I am praying if all survive that they will be healthy babies.

I plan to spend the next week or so accepting the idea and just spending time meditating on Jeremiah 29:11-14 and Isaiah 55:8 & 9. There's really nothing else I can do but pray for all three babies and trust only in God.

If you are a member of my family or a coworker please don't share this with a lot of people especially other family members. I am simply not ready for that yet. I probably won't even send out a notice of this update yet. Also if you find out from this posting rather than me telling you please dont' be offended either. This is not something I want to discuss continually at this point.

3-24: I am still shocked and scared but am trying to stay hopeful and excited. That's really all I can do. :) We are praying that baby C improves and makes it. So if you pray please pray with me for the Lord's courage and peace cause I sure as heck can't do this on my own strength.

Brian is handling this so well. I am proud of him. He's actually handling it much better than me. I think he realized how shellshocked I was and took up the slack! I love him so much.

4-1: Well we'll have to wait til tomorrow. I drank ALL that blasted water, almost threw it up twice and got all the way there and they have me down for tomorrow am even though my Dr. said today. And they couldn't fit me in. So I have to go back tomorrow! BLECH! Good news is I am 11 weeks tomorrow! :)

4-2: Well we did lose baby C. We are sad. After the initial shock wore off we had decided it was a miracle to be excited about. So we started thinking and planning and praying for ALL three babies. We plan to name the baby when we find out the sex of it's twin and plant a tree in their memory and we know in our hearts we will see that baby someday in heaven. We are happy that it happened early rather than later and causing problems for Baby B. The other two babies are perfect. Their heartbeats were in the mid to high 160's. I didn't write them down and now can't remember exactly.

Baby B was SO funny! He (I just say he for some reason) was bouncing up and down like a ball across a wall. It took forever for her to get his heartrate cause his was moving so much! I will have new U/S pics up later today!