| Profiles of Head Of Staff |
| Squirt Mcfartalot: Head of Secret police DOB: 4/3/1947 Home address: Classified |
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| Borris Pothead: Intelligence DOB: 7/6/1832 Home Address: The well, Russias backyard, Russia. |
| Min Tromy: Head of Gnome Public information DOB: Nobody cares Home Address: Cell 14-A, the ministry of Truth |
| Sheepesh Laddie: Head of "re-education" department DOB: 31/7/1208 Home Address The Pond, A Front Garden, Wales. |
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| Dude Daleadall: Supreme General of NGA armed forces DOB: 9/4/458 Home Address: Hilliers Garden Centre |
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| Duke Ponce: Revolutionary leader- his majesty reaches out to all gnomes DOB: God knows... Home Address: 10 Noxton lane Brighton Whore house district- the perfume room |
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| Warden Harris: Head of Slave Human labour camps DOB: 10/11/ 1958 Home Address: 9 Downing street, London England- no kiding Comments: Once the gnomes rule the world and all human kind is imprisoned he shall be promoted to head of all slave labor camps |
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| Tony Twee: Double Agent 19m/22a12 DOB: 1/ 7/ 1901 Home Address: Classified Comments: Currently scheming to bring Hare Krishna down into the twisted depths of evil and malevolence |
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