Soul Journey With the Real Jesus
CITADEL OF SHADOWS
Garden of Gethsemane, Mt. of Olives, Judea
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| And We Thought We Knew You: Soul Journey With the Real Jesus |
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| The Angel and the Devil CITADEL OF SHADOWS |
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| 7:30 PM, Wednesday, about April 13, AD 30 Garden of Gethsemane, Mt. of Olives, Judea |
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| ���� Jesus could still back out.� Is Jesus sure this is what he wants to do?� The dying?� God will not force him to do anything against his will.� What if he can't carry it out?� The hell part?� What if he invades hell then can't break back out? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Are you willing to give up heaven in case you can't pull it off, Jesus?� There is still a little time, Jesus.� Go ahead.� Back out.� Now!� Before it's too late! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus and his now eleven closest friends walk down the steps after their last meal together, solemnly thank the host, slip out through the gate, and head out of town.� One of them is missing.� He never came back.� It makes them angry in the pit of their stomachs.� Judas never came back and rejoined them.� What if Jesus was right about him?� A betrayer?� One of their own? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They watch Jesus as he sure-footedly walks through the dark street and then the road outside of town, afraid to face what deep down they know is about to occur. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again will they walk with Jesus.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again will they be able to watch him take that little bit of energy allotted to each human and restlessly squeeze out every ounce of it.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again will they be able to talk about their next stop and anticipate what Jesus will say and do. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again laugh and joke with him about the little annoying things in life. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again awed by his words | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again dumbfounded by his control over nature itself, the world he says he made. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Never again any of it.� Never again.� Such a long time, never.� Only one thing left to do together.� They must now grieve with him.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� The group is silent as they make their ascent down into the valley.� Yes, they will descend into the valley with Jesus.� They will never forsake him.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� All they hear is the uneasy cadence of their own steps and the beat of their aching hearts.� They watch him and try to etch into their memories the way he looks, the way he walks, the way he folds his cloak around him with only four fingers because the fifth one was injured years ago in his carpenter shop.� They wonder why he never healed himself.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They do not think about where he is going.� They all know.� He nearly always goes there in the evening when he is in Jerusalem ~ the garden on the outskirts.� There is a spot way in the back where they have always been able to be alone.� They have always felt safe there. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� And so, while they walk quietly, they wrestle with the tears, the rage, the confusion.� They would fight if they knew how, but Jesus has not said how.� Well, he has, but they do not quite understand it yet ~ the type of weapon they are to use. [1] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� The arrive at the brook of Kidron.� They look around to see if they have been followed though in the blackness of their night they know they cannot be sure.� They look at their leader.� He has turned around to face them.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� What is this?� He is smiling?� He was fighting back tears moments earlier.� What is going on inside him? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "I would like to pray with you, my friends.� It will be our last time." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Last time?� Not so, Jesus. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They sit down on the sparse grass and rocks at the edge of the stream.� Jesus is still smiling.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "God!" he cries aloud.� "I'm through with your assignment!� We made it!" [2] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| �� � He pauses.� His voice changes.� He is now the commander talking to the emperor.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "God, take over.� I protected them while I was here.� Now you protect them.� For your sake, protect them." [3] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� The exuberance once more.� "I'm coming home now!� I am so excited I can hardly wait!� Let my friends understand this joy that I am feeling! [4]� And, I want them to come see me in my majesty in heaven!" [5] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� A long pause.� Now he is quiet.� Are the tears back?� "And God," he looks up at all of them, and chokes back his tears.� "God, love them like you love me.� They are now your sons too.� Love them as though each one were your only begotten son.� After all, I will always be a part of them." [6] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus looks at them all somberly and in silence.� They do not know what to say.� How he wishes Judas were still among them. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Some are able to smile.� We love you too, Jesus.� And we admire you so.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Some blink away their own tears.� Jesus, don't leave us.� Don't do this to us.� Please, don't go. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus stands, so they all do.� He approaches each one of them and gives them a bear hug.� They are silent.� They do not know what to say.� Or do.� Just hug back.� And try to give him some of their strength.� But how can they?� He is so strong.� They are so weak. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Look.� His smile is back.� He feels better now.� But for how long? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They cross the stream and begin now to climb.� Climb the gentle but rocky slopes of the Mount of Olives.� Climb the rugged but necessary cliffs of despair.� They seek for shelter. [7] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Abruptly, Jesus stops.� What is wrong? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� No one moves.� For Jesus is not moving.� He has made it through phase one.� He has reassured his friends that he will be better off because of this, and they will be too.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Now for phase two:� The final decision.� Even at the last minute, he could still back out.� Jesus wants to back out.� Oh how he wants to.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He is hitting his fist on one of the olive trees.� How it hurts.� Now lifting his eyes up to the empty sky.� Putting his head over his arms in front of him.� Now he is throwing his head back and hitting the tree again.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Man, this is hard!� Harder than he had expected.� Maybe there is some other way.� It's not too late.� Could God come up with an alternate solution to combat sin?� Maybe he could call a quick meeting of the angels.� Among them, surely they could figure out a viable option. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� God, I am so afraid.� So afraid. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Afraid of death?� No afraid of Satan.� Not wanting to become everything God ever hated.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Please God....� Not this, God....� Not this....� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus takes a deep breath.� He must ask God just one more time.� He must try to get out of it just one more time.� Time is something he is almost out of.� He has one more hour.� Then it begins.� One hour.� He is running out of time. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He stumbles through the trees toward their favorite stop.� The others follow him.� They walk over to the cold ashes of a camp fire they had built there the night before.� Together they get another fire built.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus walks to a tree nearby.� He pounds his fist on it.� Oh how it hurts.� His heart.� He looks up at the stars.� But there are none. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� God, no! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Startling even himself, he looks over at his terrified friends.� They have never before seen him like this.� They have seen him depressed in the past. [8]� Everyone has their ups and down.� But never like this.� They do not know what to do.� Or say. [9] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They sit down on the rocks moved there for seats.� But Jesus does not sit with them.� He takes another deep breath and peers deep within the souls of his friends.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Pray like you have never prayed before," he warns.� His voice is deep and low and growling, almost like an animal warding off an enemy.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Jesus, we are already in prayer.� God strengthens us." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Do you think you're exempt?� Even I am tempted.� Pray for yourselves.� And pray for me.� Pray that we don't back out. We cannot back out." [10] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Then he adds, "James....John....Peter...."� He does not finish.� They stand. [11]� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus is closest to these three men.� He has known them most of his life. [12] �The others have gotten used to him going off alone with them. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They walk away.� Away from the firelight.� Into the shadows.� Into murky darkness where it is so hard to see anything clearly. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus is now stumbling through the bushes.� His three friends are following him.� He is tripping over a tree root.� They are helping him up.� Now Peter is walking ahead.� James and John are each taking one of his arms to help support him as he walks.� ��� His grief.� It is swallowing him in despair.� He has to face it. �His grief.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Satan is glad.� He had nothing to worry about after all.� But things are looking up.� Satan is about to win.� Satan believes his own lies. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Turn around, Jesus!� Go the other way!� You can have the world bowing at your feet without all this!� I'll give you the world!� All this is so unnecessary, Jesus! [13] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus is nearly convinced he cannot go through with it.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Too bad, world!� You have just lost your only chance. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus stops.� "I cannot do it, guys!� I just cannot go through with it!"� In the safety of their undying friendship, Jesus now lets go.� He is moaning.� Wailing.� Sobbing.� Uncontrollably.� He is shaking.� Heaven is reeling.� Hell is bracing for a celebration. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� This death I have to go through.� It's too much! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Don't think like this!� We're not giving into the enemy! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, Jesus.� You are not really going to be crucified.� You are too strong for that.� You will not let them.� They will never touch you. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� "Stay here....� Just stay here....� I've got to work this out.� And pray, men.� Pray like you've never prayed in your life.� Pray like you never thought possible.� You are going to be tempted to back out, just like me." [14] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� He is stumbling forward just a few feet.� They hear him as he goes into the blacker darkness.� "Pray!� Pray...." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� He is tripping on a rock among the undergrowth.� He is falling.� He's not getting up. [15] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Jesus' sobs are echoing through the trees and sinking like poison darts into the hearts of his friends nearby. [16]� He is frightening them.� He was always so strong before.� As they wait, they try to block out the reality.� They succeed.� They fall asleep. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh God, not this!� Not this! [17] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Jesus is sinking into futility.� Consuming, unmerciful, devouring despair.� Now, with eyes of the all-seeing, ears of the all-hearing, and knowledge of the all-knowing, Jesus is peering through the centuries into hell. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No!� I could never skin someone alive!� Don't make me be that person!� He is laughing hideously!� His victim is shrieking in torment.� Not me, God....� Not me.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, God!� He's cutting that man open and wrapping him around a pole with his own intestines.� No!� No!� The man is screaming.� He's going into shock.� He's begging for death.� No, God!� Don't make me be that tormentor!� Please, not him....� Please.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No!� Not that too!� Pull people's fingernails out?� Sneering as he does?� How could I do that, God?� Her fingers are bleeding.� She's wailing.� She's begging for mercy.� The more she does, the more exciting it becomes.� No!� I cannot do that to her! �I can't be that person!� Please, not that.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, no!� I cannot burn their eyes out!� They're shrieking.� They're grabbing at their unseen tormentor.� Now he's burning their hands, and I am him.� He's laughing hideously.� Oh God!� Please, not him too.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� I cannot do it!� I cannot be those people!� I cannot!� I just cannot!� Please, God!� Don't make me do this!� Please, don't make me.... [18] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Up in heaven God looks down on his son.� His heart is beating with the universe, searching for another answer, another way to save mankind from its sin.� God does not see it.� Oh how God's heart aches.� Oh, my son.� My son.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus grows quiet.� He is listening.� Are you there, God? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� If there were just some other way.� If only Satan did not reward sin with punishment.� If only there was no such thing as evil.� If only God did not have to fight Evil.� But he has to in order to rescue man. [19] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus lies still, his mind engulfed in reality. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� But why does there have to be evil at all?� The answer, of course, is logical.� Evil must exist for good to exist.� It's like up and down.� If down did not exist, there would be no such thing as up.� Evil must exist for good to exist. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Still Jesus lingers in his own abyss. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� The two have almost always fought.� Good creates; Evil destroys.� Good makes order and logic; Evil makes disorder and illogic.� Good loves; Evil hates.� Good forgives; Evil condemns.� Good gives joy; Evil gives anguish.� Evil causes sickness; Good heals.� Evil wants mankind to suffer eternally; Good wants mankind to live eternally.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Evil, called Satan, wants to be mankind's God.� Good, called Jehovah, wants to be mankind's God.� Who will win?� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Who will win the souls of man, my son?� Oh, my son.� You are the only one who can do it.� You are the only one who is sinless.� You are the only one who can go down into hell and break out.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� My son....� My son....� You are the only one. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus feels a gentle warm breeze on the back of his neck.� He is grateful.� It is the touch of God.� Oh, my father, help me....� Help me....� I am so afraid.� Help me do it.� Help me keep my promise. [20] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Then quiet....� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He remembers Peter, James and John.� He sits up.� Perhaps they could offer some help.� They have always been there for each other.� Perhaps there.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Wiping tears with dirt-smudged hands, he stands.� Yes, they will help him.� Especially Peter.� Peter always comes through.� Peter always reminds him that he believes in him.� Peter would do it again now. [21] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� In vain, he looks around through the darkness and thinks he can hear some sounds.� He stumbles in that direction.� He was right.� There are his three closest friends.� Asleep. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Asleep?!� Asleep!? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Does no one care? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Peter!� Peter!� Wake up!" Jesus shouts, frantically shaking Peter's shoulder.� "You're sleeping?� At a time like this you're sleeping?� Couldn't you stay awake a protect me from my captors just a little while?� And pray for me?� And pray for yourselves?� Peter!� James!� John!� How could you?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Oh, Jesus.� No one is going to capture you.� You're too strong, Jesus.� You're going to head up the new kingdom of God.� This capture idea.� It's just your imagination." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "The best thing you can do for me is to pray for yourselves and your own temptation.� It is powerful!� It is relentless!� And it is everywhere!� Pray, men!� Pray!� Pray for yourselves...." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "I don't know how it happened," Peter replies, "falling asleep like that.� We just closed our eyes for a moment.� We didn't mean to.� We don't know what to do for you." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus becomes quieter.� "I know.� I know," he nearly whispers.� "You did not fall asleep on purpose.� See how things slip up on you and you do things you didn't think you would?� Sin is the same way.� Temptation hovers.� Then, before you know it, you have give in." [22] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "We'll stay awake for you, Jesus.� We promise." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� As he turns and walks back into the darkness, they can hear him.� "Pray for yourselves....� Pray for me....� Pray...." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Alone once more.� Once more the vacant quiet.� Jesus cannot seem to hear his father.� Instead he hears that hideous laugh.� The sadistic laugh.� The laugh of the Enemy.� He has just begun.� There is more, Jesus.� Much, much more....� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No, God!� That man has taken everyone's clothes off.� It is cold out.� Snow is everywhere.� I have to be that man?� I have to lead those people into a death chamber?� No, God!� I don't want to be that guard.� I can't be.� I just can't.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� God, I cannot be that man either.� He's herding those men onto that ship.� He's throwing them below like bags of beans.� They're on top of each other.� They're gasping for air.� Now they're defecating on each other.� They're throwing up.� And screaming.� And dying on each other.� And decaying on each other.� No, God.� I can't be that slave owner.� I can't!� Oh, God, please.� Please, God.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No!� She has taken over the city's food supply.� She is diverting it to her mansion.� She is having a party.� The city is dying and she is having a party.� She is bribing people to like her. But the city.� The once strong men, the once beautiful women, the once lively children.� They're dropping like flies.� They're dying, God.� I can't be her.� I can't do that to them.� Please, God.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� And that!� Not that too!� They're parading those men mercilessly.� They've been marching for two days with no sleep.� I cannot stab to death those who fall.� The rest they're putting in mines.� I'm the men who are beating them until their flesh is raw.� I'm not letting them rest, sleep, eat.� I'm driving them to death.� Oh, God.� I cannot be them....� I can't....� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� I can't do it, God.� How is it possible?� They are everything I never was.� I just can't, God.� Please don't force this onto me.� It's not fair, God.� It's not fair....���� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus is now calling for the angels.� Help me!� Help me!� In heaven the angels hear him.� They have been on standby all his life.� But especially now.� They assemble in a flash.� Ten thousand of them. [23]� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Oh how they love him.� What can we do to help, Jesus?� We will do anything you ask.� Do you want us to rescue you, Jesus?� We're ready any time you give the word.� You are our God.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They cannot act until Jesus gives the word.� He is their God.� How close he is to calling them.� How close.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Satan is in a carnival mood.� Go ahead, Jesus, call them.� Go on back to heaven.� You don't need to do all this.� Does mankind even recognize you?� No.� Does mankind even care what happens to you?� No.� Does mankind care whether or not you die for them?� No.� Or take their punishment and descend to hell for them?� No.� So why go through it?� You're a fool, Jesus.� Such a stupid, witless fool. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Besides, your heavenly father doesn't really love you.� If he did, would he let you suffer like this?� It's his fault.� Don't take the punishment for mankind.� Let them pay for their own sins.� Forget mankind.� Just go on back to heaven.� That is, if you still want to be around a God who makes you suffer.� It's his fault.� Not mine. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� The quiet stirs.� The quiet is agitated.� How dare you insult my father like that!� Of course he loves me.� And he loves everyone.� Which is more than I can say about you, Satan!� He loves them all.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Even those who.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Once more Jesus' thoughts sink.� Deep.� Deep.� Into the maelstrom of man's evil.� Jesus must comprehend it all.� It will not work unless he does.� Fall, Jesus, fall.� There is more.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh no!� I cannot have a sexual relationship with an animal!� Not that, God!� I cannot be such people.� Not with animals! [24]� They're degrading their bodies!� They're making themselves sick!� Oh, God, they're taking that sickness to mankind.� They're killing mankind.� Oh, God, please, please.� I can't.... [25] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No!� I can't rape that woman!� I'm no rapist!� I can't do that to her.� She's screaming.� She's terrified.� She's humiliated.� Dehumanized.� Oh, please.� I can't do that kind of thing to her.� Please, not that, God.� Not that.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� And those men being physically intimate with each other?� Please, no!� I'll spread disease everywhere.� How could I trade a few moments of thrill for the health of humanity?� How can I force disease on the innocent like that?� How can I commit a slow suicide like that?� Oh, God.� I can't be those men!� I can't!� Please, I can't do it.... [26] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Not even that, God.� I can't go around going to bed with anyone I meet.� Me using her and her using me.� That's just more diseases, more killing. [27]� I respect her too much.� And myself.� And others we would expose.� Oh, God.� I don't want to be that person, that man or that woman.� Please, God.� I just can't go through with it.� It's too much.� Too much.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Silence once more.� Terrible, empty silence.� Jesus is reeling.� Jesus is aghast.� Jesus is being broken. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Something must fill the silence.� Satan is willing.� Satan is sitting on the sidelines with his popcorn and the keys to hell.� Satan is laughing hideously as one of his angels tickles Jesus in the ribs.� It's so funny!� So hilarious!� So laughably tormenting.� Go ahead, Jesus.� You don't have to cry.� Laugh, Jesus!� Laugh!� The world will laugh with you! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus needs help.� Help is on its way. �In a flash. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Someone sitting by Jesus in the darkness.� A gentle touch.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Who's touching me?� What.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus raises his head off the damp ground and looks up slightly.� He does not recognize the sandals or the hem.� Not the kind worn by his friends. �Or his enemies.� Or the Temple police.� Who's there?� Who's touching Jesus?� He pulls his arms in enough to raise himself up a little farther.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Who is it? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Who....? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Hello, Jesus.� It's been a long time." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� You're.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Yes.� I'm Gabriel.� I was with you at your conception.� At your birth.� Now I will be with you at your death.� You can do it.� Come.� Sit up.� Let's talk. " [28] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� I can't, Gabriel.� I just can't....� I can't be all those sinners.� I've never sinned.� I just can't be them.� I don't know how. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Only by taking mankind's sins on yourself can you justly be punished.� Then, with God's power and your will, you shall sink into hell for your punishment.� Only then can the God of the universe catapult you out and prove Love's superior strength over Evil.� You know all this. [29] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Gabriel hands Jesus a handkerchief.� Jesus wipes his brow, then his face, then his neck. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "You're the only one God can do this with.� You're the only one who never sinned, so you can be stronger than hell.� You've got to, Jesus.� You've got to." [30] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus groans.� He is nauseated.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� How can I go through with it?� I cannot become everything I ever hated. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Yes, you can.� You can. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus is anger and frustration and sorrow all at once.� Soon he must be divinity, and goodness, and evil all at once.� How can he?� It is too much.� Too much!� He stands!� He shouts at the sky!� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� It is too much to ask of me, God!� Oh, God, can't you find some other way?� I cannot go through with this!� I just can't.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He pauses.� Once more Jesus remembers his friends.� Maybe they can help.� Maybe the other eight could help.� He hasn't tried them yet.� He stumbles through the darkness toward where he left them.� He sees the first three.� They are asleep once more.� He passes them and gets to the other eight.� Surely they.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Why are you sleeping at a time like this?" he asks loud enough to waken them.� "You must pray about the temptation.� It's all around us.� It's stalking us." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They awake embarrassed.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "God wants us to do the impossible.� He believes in us.� We promised him we would try.� Are you keeping your promise?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They do not know what to say.� They have thus far managed to not see the signs all around them.� They have thus far managed to not hear Jesus' loud cries from the woods which should have disturbed their sleep.� They have thus far managed.� Managed, but not triumphed.� Defeat is so close.� So close.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They could run out on him.� They could turn their backs on him.� Temptation always there.� Relentless temptation.� Never yielding. �Almost never. [31] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus turns without saying anything more.� His heavenly father is the only one who truly understands.� Even Gabriel�� doesn't understand completely.� But at least he's stayed awake with him. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Gabriel?� Gabriel?� Are you still there? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus rushes from the eight, past the three, and back into the blackness of the woods.� Perhaps he can find light there.� Gabriel?� Are you still there? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He returns to the same spot.� Yes, Gabriel has waited for him.� He has not fallen asleep like the others.� He stands with arms outstretched. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Come, my lord.� Come and sit with me.� Let me share God's love with you.� Let me share your grief with you.� Let me comfort you." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus walks forward, pauses in front of the angel, and allows the angel to embrace him.� Then Gabriel stands back.� Jesus, what do you need to do?� What will help?� I'm with you, Jesus.� What do you need? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� They sit on the wet dewy ground together.� For awhile they are silent. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus needs to comprehend and accept.� So he can keep his promise.� Is this part of the promise?� God, are you sure?� He senses that the end is about to begin.� So little time left.� Minutes. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Quick!� One last chance to change God's mind.� And man's destiny. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Satan gloats!� Satan is in his heaven and burns with his obsession to trap man into sinning so he can enjoy dragging them down to hell with him.� Satan?� No, get away.� Get away, Satan....� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Once more Jesus' thoughts are sinking.� Sinking deep into the chasm of Evil.�� Once more Jesus is groaning with a mental torment that is making his head spin.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� He is leaning sideways, his hands fumbling along the ground, until his head is once more touching the earth. [32] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No!� No!� No!� He is wearing a suit and expensive perfume, but he's pushing someone out an upper window.� Oh, God!� I can't be him.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Or him.� He's wearing a black leather jacket, his arm is full of tattoos, he's driving by a house and shooting helter skelter into it.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, God, I can't do that!� She's dressed all in white and has a smile as she injects someone with poison.� Not her!� I don't want to be her! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� I'm no killer!� God, I can't be them....� Please, I just can't do it, God.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Look!� They're stuffing ballot boxes.� Bribing an official.� Using company money for personal pleasures.� Covering up research on unsafe products.� How can I live lies like that, God?� Satan is the liar.� I can't follow Satan.� I can't.� Please, God, I can't be these people.... [33] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� I have to be the tax cheat?� I must break the speed laws?� I must be the one who gets mad every time I don't get my way?� I go shopping just for something to do when so many need just a little time with me?� I must be all these too? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� No, no, no, no, no!� No, God, no!� There's too many of them.� The weight of those small sins is too great.� So many people do these things.� Nearly everyone.� They think it's funny.� They laugh at me when I don't join them.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, God, if I could just be the murderers and torturers.� There aren't so many of them, God.� Maybe I could handle just them.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Those little sins, they'll break me, God.� How can I be all those people?� Everyone commits the little sins.� They're heavier than the big things.� So heavy....� So heavy....� So heavy.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Please, God.� Please.� Must I be that gossip?� And get drunk every weekend?� Cheat on tests?� Copy computer programs I didn't purchase?� Lie on my resumes or with friends to make myself look good? [34] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� It just goes on and on, God.� I just cannot be all those millions who do these things every day and every day and every day.� People who criticize, gossip, forsake friends in trouble. [35] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� They think you're not looking.� They think you don't mean them.� They go to church every week.� They fool themselves into thinking they're good anyway. [36]� Must I be them too? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Worst of all, God, they don't think it's their sins I'll be carrying into hell.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Oh, God.� I've got to go into hell for them?� I've got to bear their punishment for them?� They won't even care, God.� They won't even care.� They'll just keep doing all those these.� They won't stop.� They've got themselves fooled.� Oh, God.� So many, many, many of them.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� In this hour, Jesus, the divine, has visualized the sins of everyone for all time.� In this hour, Jesus, the human, has begged God to find some other way for mankind to escape hell and live out eternity in heaven instead. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Then the final silence.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Son, it must be this way.� If you do not go through with it, we have lost them all.� Every man.� Every woman.� Everyone of every age and nationality and walk in life.� They have all sinned, son.� Without you, Satan gets them. [37] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Not that.� Jesus could not bear that.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus knows what he has known all along.� There is no other way.� He has been born to die.� He has descended from heaven to descend to hell.� He has transcended the divine and human in order to bring divine rescue to sinking humanity.� There is no one else who can do it. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Not my will, God," he declares at last.� "Your will.� I submit to you.� I submit to mankind.� Together, God, we will conquer Evil.� Together, God.� I love you, God.� I love you...." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Silence.� There is no more to say. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� "Are you okay now?" Gabriel asks.� "You're stronger than you think.� The whole world is depending on you." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Resignation.� There is nothing more to do. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus stands.� He wipes his brow once more.� He knows they are approaching.� Satan's hit men.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Jesus' muscles tighten.� He holds his head high and sets his jaw.� He marches out of the woods to the clearing where he left his friends.� And stands firm in place.� He is now ready. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� All that is left is the dying. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ���� Thank you Jesus.� You kept your promise.� Thank you.� From all of us, thank you.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| ���������������������� LIFE APPLICATION | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1.�� Pay special attention to the endnotes that list the very sins noted in the narrative.� Most sins are not bad acts, but bad attitudes.� About what percent of those sins do you estimate you commit?� Choose at least one of them.� What will you do to show your true repentance by not being like that any more? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2.�� Did you ever sacrifice something for someone who was irresponsible with what you gave them?� Compare this with the way you handle the life God has breathed into you.� How will you redirect your life so you use it for more good? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3.�� Think of the worst thing you ever did.� Jesus had to become you doing that evil thing in order to take your place and save you.� How does this make you feel about Jesus now? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||