| FAQ & C (Frequently Asked Questions and Comments) This is the latest addition due to all the strange, critical, good, bad, and ugly email I get. Pretty entertaining too! :-) |
1. Do you do anal? NO 2. Are you desperate? Are you really looking to get married? a. NO. I'm funny, creative, selective, and proactive dammit. Deal with it. This is turning into a fun experiment. Go get yourself a sense of humor. b. Yes, I want to get married - but I won't settle and I won't marry just any fool. I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. This might work, it might not. If you think this is the ONLY method I am using or counting on, you are the one who is crazy. I have a full life and am enjoying it - I would now like to share it with someone. 3. Aren't you a hypocrite by saying you want a non-bigot / open-minded man but then say you don't like skinny guys, fetishes, ect? HELL NO! There is a HUGE difference between bigotry/prejudice and DATING PREFERENCES. I don't think I am better or superior than an entire group of people and I don't hate or discriminate against the people/men who don't match my potential spouse desires. I can be friends with anybody but it's a different story when you are looking for a romantic life partner. a. First of all, I firmly believe that we can't help what/who we are attracted to and I refuse to try to "force" or pretend. I am who I am and you are who you are. There are many decent men out there that I am just not attracted to and many men who aren't attracted to me - nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with me - the chemistry just isn't there. I believe that once we hit our thirties we know ourselves pretty well and I feel I do, so I am just being honest about what I find attractive and what I can live with and what I can't. b. Too many people don't really do a good job of looking at how compatible they are before committing to someone. This is why there are so many divorces. It would be irresponsible of me to date or marry someone who had a quality that I knew would be a serious problem for me when it's possible to avoid it. There are many issues / qualities / quirks or whatever that roll right off my back and don't bother me at all that would highly annoy someone else - it's not about finding perfection (that would be boring), it's about finding the perfect MATCH for me - and who I would be a good match for in return. It's a balance game. We all have a right to be ourselves. I have every right to want and desire to be with a man who is in the same intellectual ballpark as me, who I am physically attracted to, who has a similar libido, similar goals in life, similar beliefs, wants kids, has a sense of humor, and similar outlook on life. If squeezing the toothpaste from the top bothers you enough to get divorced over, then that's your right and you should voice that need from the beginning to avoid the trauma. Me? Well, I don't give a rat's ass how a man handles his toothpaste and I think fighting over such things is silly and shallow - but that's me. Get it? c. Frankly I can't believe there are people that are actually that STUPID to even ask this question. I am shocked with how many emails I get asking this question. If you can't see the difference between being a RACIST and stating that I prefer to date a man with a particular body type or likes/dislikes, then you are a freaking IDIOT!!!!!! It's also pretty pathetic that you felt the need to write to a total stranger on the internet, who is exercising her right to free speech, solely to criticize her website just because something she wrote pissed you off when it has nothing to do with YOU. If you are a man looking for a mate, and you don't fit the bill....dude, like, move on , get over it- close the damn window - NEXT! When I read online dating ads that I don't like, I move on to the next one - I don't send freaking hate mail criticizing the guy's ad. I keep on clickin' to the next one. Please THINK before you write, people! * And just for the record: I get many more COMPLIMENTS on the content of my site than I do criticism and insults, so if you are criticizing me, you are in the minority. 4. Do you do anal and/or threesomes? NO and NO 5. My that's a mighty long laundry list you have there. Aren't you just a little too demanding? And do you really expect anyone to write a freaking essay and do all that crap for you? Don't you think it's a bit much? a. Um, NO! Dude, hear me out on this one. If you had paid attention at all, you would have noticed something different about my, um, "requirements" as compared to many online dating ads. First of all, there is nothing shallow about my ad. Other than a few items like the rather large age range, the wide open height range, and things such as, "Hair optional" "Full set of teeth" and "No Skinny Men", there is nothing physical or materialistic. (Although I find it hilarious that guys think my phyiscal requirements are too stringent. Really? You mean I don't have a right to want such things? Ok, so I guess I am supposed to marry a toothless, dirty, skeleton with a 5th grade education? Ok, wow....I guess I am just a demanding snobby Bitch then!) All the rest of it is about the content of a man's character and what he wants out of life. I am interested in what is in your heart, mind, and soul - not your bank account, the car you drive, or whether you have six pack abs or not. I can't even count how many times guys have complained to me about how most of the women's online ads are so materialistic and shallow. How they get so specific with the height, hair color, physique, and career and money requirements. But you didn't see any of that on here did you? But do I get credit for that? NOOOOOOOOO! Open your eyes, Neanderthalls! Ooops...that was mean....I meant to say... My sexy darlings. b. No...I don't expect anyone to write all that. Remember, this website is also tongue-in-cheek and supposed to be humorous. Again, if you didn't get the humor, then you are missing more than just a sense of humor - you are missing me. So far, I HAVE actually had some decent responses from guys who actually read it and got a kick out of it. If you didn't like it and think I am asking too much then you should not respond. It's that simple. I also know that unless they do it for a living, most guys hate writing. So I set the bar high to get what I really want: Just a decent email that tells me something about who you are rather than the common one sentence greetings or the incoherent and uneducated blatherings I have gotten in the past. Any man who sends a decent email that shows some effort and a picture, gets a response. If I didn't respond, then the writing was unclear, or lazy, or there was no picture. The essay "assignment" and questions can give you some good ideas on what to say in your email. I often hear from male friends who say they don't know what to say when emailing a woman and wish they had some sort of "cheat sheet" so that's what I did. I gave you some ideas! Think of it this way - you know how if you have a friend who is always late you give them a meeting time of an hour earlier to make sure they get there on time? It's the same concept. I demand an essay, mention proper grammmar, and give out a billion questions so what I end up getting is a nice paragraph with some substance, and only a few minor errors, rather than the the crap I was getting before. (well....in addition to the crap, cause I still get it...LOL). For those that don't believe me, allow me to give some examples: EXAMPLE #1 (An email in response to an old ad I recieved from a guy out of state): "hi prety ladie i like ur ad u seem nice i dont like skinnie womans i ride my bike i have a harley i have a dog he like to play in park i live alone wud u like to visit me u call me sumtime to chat i think we hve comon things cuz i like moovies and go out for fun good time u call me ok" (And no... he was not a foreigner. English is his mother tongue. This is just painful to the eyes and brain. I have 2 Bachelor's Degrees and one of them is in ENGLISH. How am I supposed to be wooed by a man who writes like he is in the first grade? I am not perfect and make typos and errors too but DAMN! He also clearly did not read my ad because I stated I don't do long distance and he was several THOUSAND miles a way.) EXAMPLE #2 (The most common / frequent) " Hello. RU looking for me? 35, swm, ISO swf. Saw your ad. Let's talk. Do you do anal?" (Better than most...sometimes they don't even say hello first and sometimes all I get is the question. Emails like this are a waste of my time. You have the upper hand by reading my site, can I get some info about you too, please?) 6. Damn. You are intimidating. Really? Sheeesh....if an intelligent, funny, outgoing, creative, silly, laid-back woman intimidates you then I feel sorry for you. Fine, then you are not for me and I am not for you. Why waste your time writing to me to tell me that? Move on, dude, and get some therapy. (I don't get it....compared to most women I know, I am pretty low maintenance and easy going - no whiny crap, you can take me almost anywhere, I'm flexible, I don't get mad easily, I laugh alot, I'll laugh at your dirty jokes in front of your friends, and mothers love me. So what's the problem?) Intimidating? Why? because I made a website? So come over and fix my car for me, and I'll bat my eye lashes and fawn all over you if that will make you feel better and more manly. By the way, I do a great imitation of Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday", only I sing better. (on key) 7. I think you have a secret desire to be dominated by a man. NO. NO. NO. and NO. Now, please never contact me again...............................NEXT! 8. Do you do anal? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Couldn't you at least say hello before you ask me that question? 9. Why did you make this website? Go back and read it. 10. Do you hate Republicans? Why do you list "No Republicans" along with criminals, ect... under the non-negotiables? NO. I DO NOT HATE REPUBLICANS. That was supposed to be funny - but with a sprinkling of truth. However, I am very passionate about my politics and all my "requirements" and preferences come out of personal experience. I have friends who are republicans and I respect them. I just know that there is no way in hell that I could fall in love with, and marry a man who is Republican and voted for Bush. (And NO, I don't think it makes me a hypocritical bigot - its not the same thing at all) It's too big of an issue and too devisive. It's about ethics, morals, beliefs, and lifestyle. If I didn't care that much, it wouldn't be a big deal and it isn't for many people - but not for me. For me, I know myeslf well enough to know that I need a man who has simliar political and social views as my own. Most republican men find me repulsive anyway so get over it. 11. Do you do anal? NO. NO. NO. You listen to Howard Stern too much. Now take a break and watch an episode of Oprah or Dr. Phil or something to detoxify your brain. 12. What do you think of Howard Stern? Actually, I like Howard alot. I am all for free speech and I think he is intelligent and funny. Do I like everything he says and does? No. When he says or does something I don't like, (like teenage boy humor such as the farting or when it gets too sexual for my taste), I turn the radio off or to another station. That's called FREEDOM. I think the FCC is mostly full of doggy doo doo and way over zealous. However, I do believe in some guidelines for protecting our kids from potentially harmful material in the entertainment industry but parents need to step up in that arena and stop being lazy by expecting everyone else to raise their kids for them. I support TV and movie ratings, music warning labels, and the V chip. I would NOT support any censorship of satellite radio or pay tv channels. I have a lot of respect for Howard Stern for speaking out against the Bush administration and I actually do believe that he could be right about there being a conspiracy against him. Life in America would be boring without Howard Stern. :-) 13. Do you like sex? Yes. Didn't you read the "Husband Wanted" ad? I have a very healthy libido but I am very monogamous and demand that my partner is too. 14. Do you really have Herpes? Yes. I explained all about it in the section on "Who is the Goddess". No, I am not a slut and I am not dirty. Herpes is very common. I got it from a cheating boyfriend. No you can't get it from a toilet seat or from hugging me. Do some research. Go back and read my website. 15. Are you like one of those happy herpes chics on the valtrex commercials? Yes and No. I have herpes, it's manageable, and It has not stopped me from living my life or from being intimate if I am in a committed relationship. All it means, is that I am upfront and honest about it with men who don't have it and take precautions, or date men who already have it. No, I don't ride horses and canoe every day like those girls in the commercials. Actually, I have ridden a horse twice in my life and would like to do it again sometime. I do swim and have been on a few different kinds of boats / rafts but never been in a canoe. I am not thin like the happy herpes chics. If you would like to take me horse-back riding and/or canoeing sometime, I am game. I promise to smile and if you like, we can bring a video camera and make our own happy herpes people commerical. 16. Are you nuts? That's debatable. The Jury is still out, however, I am not currently on any medications if that's what you want to know. I am not currently in therapy either, although I do believe seeking help and advice is a healthy thing to do and that there is no shame in it. More people should do it. Right now, I am too busy and/or lazy to go see a therapist. Perhaps I will someday but for now, my writing is my therapy. 17. What�s with the withholding of your picture? You are asking the guys for a picture. I have several legitimate reasons. a. Safety, Security, Anonymity. I do not want any undesirables to know what I look like to avoid harassment and stalkers. I also want to keep my online dating life separate from my professional and personal life until I find the one. Also, just in case someone I already know sends me an email and I have to turn them down, they won�t know it was me and can avoid some hurt feelings. So I WILL send a picture to those who send me one and who I am attracted to. Finally, the fact that I have herpes is very personal and I reserve the right to choose who I tell and who I don't. People I work with and aquaintances do not need to know that - it is simply none of their business so I don't think putting my picture on the site is a good idea. b. Appearances. I do not want anyone contacting me based on my appearance. I want you to READ all my crap and get a sense of who I am first. Personality is much more important. If your curiosity has been perked and you have been entertained enough to write to me after reading thru the site, then we are at least very likely to be friends. HOWEVER, I totally acknowledge the unavoidable need for chemistry and attraction. I need that just as much as you do! So you have to send me a picture to get a response. c. Honesty. It is also an honesty barometer. I have been honest in my description as you will find out if you ever meet me or see my picture. Men are frequently dishonest about themselves and I am hoping that any guy who goes to all this trouble before seeing my picture will be more likely to be honest � which means sending me a decent and RECENT photograph and describing himself honestly. Nothing turns me off quicker than a liar or a man who has a delusional view of himself. I don�t care if you are flabby � just don�t TELL me you are an athlete or 6 ft tall or younger than you are when you clearly aren�t � I am going to realize that the minute I see you � moron. 18. Are you ugly? That�s a stupid and rude question. No, I do not think I am ugly and have been told by many people I am attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and several men have told me they think I am beautiful. Others disagree. You will have to judge for yourself. However, I am no model and I don�t look like Barbie. If that is what you want, move on, bubba. 19. Are you into one-night stands or do you have sex on the first date? NO and NO. Freaks need not apply here. If sex is all you want, go to adultfreindfinder.com 20. Do you know there are dating sites for people with STD�s? a. Yes, I know this and I am on one. However, I do not believe in limiting myself and/or segregating myself from the general dating population. Why should I limit myself? If some men wish to discriminate against me because I have herpes, that is their problem / issue and their loss. But I can also respect the fear and need to protect themselves. I wish I had the choice, but I didn�t � he cheated and lied by not telling me he had herpes so I was not given the opportunity to protect myself. I am a great person and did not deserve it or deserve to be �shunned�. b. Many people who have Herpes are not on those sites and are still in their own little cocoon. I may reach a man who has herpes who has not reached out to find others in the same situation, not realizing that 25 % of the population has it. Or I could meet a guy who knows someone who has it so he can be supportive and accepting. Not everyone is judgmental and scared. Also, there are lots of people walking around carrying this virus who don�t know it because they haven�t had symptoms or they were so mild, they brushed it off as something else. Maybe in my own small way I have raised awareness with anyone who reads my site. 21. Just how Fat are you? That�s another stupid and rude question. a) I already described myself on the site. Go back and read. b) If you have to ask, then you are way too concerned and preoccupied with looks �therefore you are shallow and probably aren�t a good match for me. c) If it helps, I find that I am too pudgy for the average jerk but not big enough for the dudes who have fat fetishes. I am somewhere in between, hovering in the �normal but plump gal� nebulon galaxy looking for the normal guys to wake up to reality and realize that they are no Brad Pritt and the only way a Pamela Anderson look-a-like is going to date them is if they are wealthy or powerful and can help them boost their career in some way or to get their money - which will mean she doesn't really love you and will certainly leave you for another man eventually. If you would like to avoid such a heartbreak, and want a woman who really likes YOU for YOU, then send me an email. 22. Why didn�t you answer my email? Here are all the possible reasons: - I�ve been busy. I have a job and a life and get lots of email. I may not have gotten to you yet. - Your email was rude or mean-spirited - You didn�t send me a photo - Your email was unreadable and/or incoherent. Go back to English class. - You asked me stupid questions or clearly didn�t read the site because all your questions were answered here. PEOPLE WHO DON�T READ ANNOY ME! - You clearly don�t fit what I am looking for so it is obvious you didn�t read the site. Once again, PEOPLE WHO DON�T READ ANNOY ME! - For some reason, I don't think you are a good match for me. Please don't ask me why and force me to hurt your feelings. Let it go, man. 23. Your site is overwhelming. You are scaring men away. Sorry dude, my bad. NOT! Duh! Once again....if that is how you feel, then we aren�t a match. OR, think of it this way: Since I like to read and write, it might be a good idea for me to be with a man who likes that too and just like reading a book, it may take some time to read � you know, in stages, like reading a novel. Take it one chapter at a time. My site is also a nice release for me that is a fun and safe place for me to express myself and vent. Fellas, um...I�m WEEDING. Can you dig it? No? Then move on and use your time in a more productive way than sending me your whiny hate mail. The men who are SCARED away probably SHOULD BE. �Nuff said. The man who finally gets me will be rewarded. 24. How do you feel about oral sex? It's part of the whole intimate sexual experience and what is good for the goose is good for the gander. In one of Chris Rock's HBO stand-up specials he addressed it in a very funny and honest way (yes, I am a BIG fan!). He said that there are 3 kinds of women: 1) Women who don't give head. Goodbye! See ya! 2) Women who give you just enough to get by. He licks the tip of the microphone and says "eh! Is that enough for ya?" and 3) Women who like nothing better than to suck a dick! God bless every one of ya! So I am somwhere inbetween #2 and #3 but I have to be in a committed, serious relationship and have strong feelings for you. You can also turn that bit around and look at it from a woman's point of view - so basically, if you don't like giving, don't expect to receive. Also, I once had an experience where I was in a relationship and the guy actually didn't like receiving - can you believe it? He actually turned down the offer and it shocked and hurt me. When a woman OFFERS, it's a freaking gift, so turning it down could be detrimental for you. My advice: Don't do it. Take it when you can get it because it may not be offered again. You could permanently ruin the mood. (Note: I can actually be quite a classy person and don't usually use such language unless I am quoting someone like a comedian or in an environment with people who don't mind low brow humor. This is not a common topic of conversation for me but I am an honest and down-to-eath person so I don't mind sharing such information) 25. Why don't you do anal? Ok, now this is the last time I am going to address this issue. I don't do it and never will. I can't believe how obsessed men have become with this sexual practice. I realize it has become a more common activity that some people are trying to move out of the "taboo" category. However, I refuse to allow anyone to make me think there is something wrong with me because I am turned off by such an idea. I am a normal woman with a normal libido. I prefer good old fashioned "natural" sex. I like foreplay and romance. As stated in other parts of the site, I am no ice princess and prefer to have frequent intimacy when I am in a relationship. I am not trying to judge anyone who chooses uncoventional sexual activities - whatever floats your boat - but quit trying to force it on me. I don't understand how trying to force the issue could be a turn on either. Now, with the understanding that I am NOT judging others and I am accepting of the gay community (remember I included homophobia as a no-no and yes, I believe gays should be allowed to marry and I do not believe homosexuality is a choice - I think you are born with your sexuality), here is the best explaination I can give you: a. I do not believe anal sex is natural (for me). The anas has a purpose and I do not believe I should try to change that. It will always be a one-way highway for me. b. Anal sex is, and came from, a male homosexual desire. Although I am perfectly capable of intellectually and rationally understanding that anal sex can be a legitimate desire and act for others, for me I feel it is completely foreign and when a straight man expresses an overwhelming desire for it, I can't help but question his sexual preference. Yea, yea...."a woman's ass is different from a man's hairy butt" one man said to me, - but, sorry guys, I can't help it. That is the thought that automatically and involuntarily enters my head. "He must be a closet homesexual". c. I have heard and read that it is painful and pain is not a turn on for me in any way. On my planet, pain and sex do not belong together. d. It grosses me out. e. Too much potential for hygiene issues. f. There are plenty of other women who dig it (knock yourself out ladies) - find one and leave me alone. Everyone has a right to their "turn-ons" and "turn-offs", why can't I have mine? Who are you to criticize what I am comfortable with or not comfortable with in an intimate situation? Some people like the lights on, some like them off, some like it rough, some like it soft, some like oral, some don't, some like role play, some don't, some like it once a month, some like it every day. I am not criticizing anyone for their sexual preferences - do whatever you want with another consenting adult, live and let live, and let me be me. If anal sex is a requirement for you, I am not for you and please leave me alone - thanks. NOW QUIT ASKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 26. Are you full of yourself? Good God, NO! Once again....you apparently have missed the entire spirit of my website. I'm just a silly single woman using a creative approach in this crazy dating world. Have a question you think I should ad? Send email to goddesscomedia@yahoo.com Have a nice day! |