numbly.
The bard paused and then shook her head as if fighting with something internally. Then she squared her gorgeous, broad, muscular shoulders and spoke to the skies.
"I want to be in the competition. I want to battle for Xena."
Xena's legs turned to rubber as a wave of relief washed over her and the Warrior Princess was barely able to keep from collapsing to the ground.
"You?!" laughed Tapert. "You can't even sing."
"Gabrielle, you don't have to do this," said Xena. "You know that you're the only�"
"You. Listen," Gabrielle said with quiet rage. The warrior closed her
mouth abruptly.
The bard headed toward the stage. Xena and Colleen followed with Tapert scurrying after. Ares threw up his hands in disgust and trudged
after the group.
At a hundred yards or so from the stage, Gabrielle began running,
launching herself into the air and performing three perfect somersaults. She landed on the stage and turned to face the small audience.
For Gabrielle, long-suppressed feelings of the past years began to surface. She tried to keep them down, but the emotions tightened her chest painfully. The bard had a sudden urge to scream, kick, yell...something. She looked over to Ares, considering kicking him around a little more.
Ares noted the look in Gabrielle's eyes and stepped quickly behind
Colleen for protection.
"She wouldn't kick my ass if I were a god," grumbled the dark stud.
"Yeah, she would," snorted Colleen.
"OK, Island Goddesses..." the Amazon's emerald green eyes bore into
Xena. The Warrior Princess raised her chin and stared back, heart in her throat. Gabrielle growled, "I need back-up. Your choice."
There was a sudden thunderclap power chord. Everyone but the bard
and Xena flinched at the sound. In the distance, two glowing balls sped toward the stage and the blonde warrior.
"Hey, maybe that's Naima and the Archangel Michael," said Tapert.
"Great, a major clash of religious philosophies in the middle of a musical. Just what we need," sighed Colleen.
As the orbs got closer, it became apparent that they were horses with
riders, both trailing a stream of bright orange and red fire.
The flying horses landed softly, unaffected and yet engulfed by flames. They stood behind Gabrielle like fiery sentinels, back lighting the Amazon Queen to gorgeous effect but singeing not one hair on her beautiful body. Two women vaulted from the horses and onto the stage. One was a wild-haired blonde with big, pink, pouty lips and the second was a sassy-looking, auburn-haired woman with fierce, ice-blue eyes.
Colleen gasped from off-stage. She pointed and began screaming like a 13-year-old white girl at an 'N Sync concert with lots of money to spend.
"It's Courtney Love from Hole and Shirley Manson from Garbage!" the
co-ed screamed. She fell to her knees, bowing and chanting, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"
The Survivor tugged on Tapert's t-shirt. "Bow, infidel, bow!"
"Oh, please, like they can do better than Ares," snorted Tapert who wasn't about to bow. "Look who they've got singing for them!"
"Goddess," said Love reverently to Gabrielle. "We heard you needed
back-up," she eyed the small crowd of onlookers angrily.
"I think that blonde chick wants to kick my ass," a frightened Ares
gulped.
"Which blonde?" asked Colleen innocently, who wasn't yet sure if she
could stand in the presence of the High Priestesses of Rock-n-Roll.
"Not just your ass," growled Love with a pointed look at Xena and Tapert.
The executive thrust out his stomach, hoping being pregnant would once again save him.
The Warrior Princess took no notice of the rockers. The only thing in her world right now was one pissed off, feral, blonde Amazon Queen.
Love and Manson strode over to the Marshall stacks, unrolling the electrical power cords and stabbing them into their guitars.
"Goddess, if I may," began Manson.
Gabrielle took her attention off Xena for a moment, stopping Manson.
"That's the second time you two have said that. I'm not a Goddess. I'm just Gabrielle."
"You're Gabrielle, Bard of Potedaia. Your poems and scrolls have influenced the greatest song-writers and lyricists over the millennia: Van Hildeberg, Goethe, Mozart, Wolf, Gershwin, Dylan, McLachlan and many, many more. You are a true goddess of lyrics. And we're here as your Bad Ass Bard Back-Up Band," explained Manson.
Gabrielle blushed�beautifully of course.
"Godde�er�Gabrielle," smiled Manson. "Let us know when you're ready."
Gabrielle approached the mike.
"Let's do it," the bard rumbled.
Tapert's eyes widened as an idea hit his brain. He looked over at Colleen and laughed with delirious, evil gusto. "Renee can't sing! Winner's Circle and L.A.�here I come."
Manson and Love launched into a fast-driven chord pattern. The ferocity of the sound reached the place in Gabrielle where her pain and anger lay waiting for release. The emotions came in a rush. She began to nod to the beat the rockers had set forth and let it take over her entire body. Gabrielle grabbed the microphone and began to sing with all her heart, her love, her soul, her passion.
Take All of Us (Violet by Hole)
And we slept as one under the stars
And all the heavens shone for you and I
You know that we are one
Gabrielle stared at Ares.
And you know that "no" means "no."
The bard returned her attention to Xena.
He won't last a day
You and I forever
He won't last 10 minutes
"Hey!" yelled an indignant Ares from off-stage.
We are forever
Always here, loving you
No one else, you alone
You are all that I want
We are each other's heart and soul
Go on take all of us, take all of us
I want you to
Go on take all of us, Take all of us
You want it too
I don't know where your head's at
Lately you confuse me, confuse you
But I'm the one who knows your soul
Ours above and ours below
They won't last a day
We are forever
Xena was aware that some of the words were now repeating, but Gabrielle's passion continued unabated...unsated. Xena could barely breathe as Gabrielle poured everything out in song. The Warrior Princess slowly became aware of the words once again.
You told me from the start
Just how this would end
But I'll get what I want
and that's our love again
Go on take all of us, Take all of us
I dare you to
Go on take all of us, Take all of us
The song ended with Love and Manson's ringing guitars and the bard's
last notes raging through the small crowd of onlookers.
"Wow. That was some incredible singing," roared Ares, his index finger and pinky waving in the air, head bobbing as he momentarily forgot his painful run-in with the blonde warrior.
Tapert gulped. "How? She! But...but, Renee can't sing."
"T-Dude, that's not Renee O'Connor, that's Gabrielle," said Colleen who held up a lighter in each hand, flicking them on and screaming at the stage. "Awesome, Gabrielle! You rock ass!!"
Manson launched into a slow, haunting guitar groove. Love snarled
happily and joined in. Gabrielle vaulted off the stage and walked over to Xena. She took the warrior by her curvy hips. The Warrior Princess gave herself completely over to the blonde's hands as they began to move to the Bad Ass Bards' sultry rhythm. The Amazon began singing to Xena.
Crush (#1 Crush by Garbage)
I would die for you
I have died for you
Lately, dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine
Gabrielle gently swung her hips into Xena's, challenging her and
reminding her of how perfectly they fit together. There were few
things in the world that could bring the warrior to her knees, but this
was definitely one of them. The bard communicated her love for Xena
with her body and with her words as she continued to sing softly and
urgently.
I will cry for you
I have cried for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your guilt
I have prayed for you
You have prayed for me
I have given my soul for something pure and true
Something like us
See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I am talking
You do believe in me
And I will never be ignored
I have burned for you
Felt pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart
I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me
Violate all the love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored
I have died for you
I have killed for you
I suffer for you
I've done time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be part of you
'Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you
The song ended quietly, Manson and Love holding and adding vibrato
to the last, shimmering note.
"Did you hear me?" said Gabrielle to Xena as the song ended and
their danced stopped.
"Yes," whispered Xena.
The scene froze and godconnie and Mezzo stepped out from behind a
small hill.
"Whewsh," said Mezzo, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. She offered a cigarette and light to godconnie and they both puffed away.
"Do either of us smoke?" asked godconnie nonchalantly.
"We do after that dance," said Mezzo. The fan fic goddess puffed some
more and wiped the sweat off their collectively beautiful brows.
"Not helping," Mezzo remarked.
godconnie rolled her eyes, pulled out her notebook and began writing.
First, and most importantly (as godconnie is a choc-o-holic), her smoking, ashy cigarette turned into a chocolate one. She munched happily and lustily as she scribbled more. A large pond appeared.
Mezzo looked at gc questioning. "Ice cold," smiled godconnie.
"Thanks! That ought to do the trick." Mezzo hopped up and dove
headfirst into the pond, disappearing under the water. The surface of the pond immediately began boiling and steam rolled off the water in misty waves.
godconnie serenely nibbled on her chocolate and waited. But there was no sign of Mezzo. After a few minutes and still no sign of the green-eyed beauty, godconnie began to worry. Suddenly, Mezzo surfaced.
"Still not working," she gasped, out of breath as steam continued to
billow from the pond.
godconnie rolled her eyes and began scribbling again. Ares' shirt ripped open, flying off to expose his large, manly he-breasts.
Mezzo screamed in high, holy terror.
"That was HARSH!" she squealed at godconnie.
"Did it work?" gc raised an eyebrow in question.
"Like all of the North Pole at once," replied Mezzo.
"Well, back to it, then," said godconnie.
"You know, we've tried just about everything and we're not getting
through to Tapert," Mezzo said to to her comrade. "Torture, hormones,
bad dreams�."
"Yeah. I think there's only one thing left we can do," started godconnie
"Show him who the daddy is," finished Mezzo.
The fan fic goddesses began walking toward a nearby hill that was a few yards past where Tapert and Ares were standing in a frozen, eyes wide open, tableau.
"I don't know why you dislike his manly boobies so," said godconnie. "I think his titties are nice."
The Island Goddesses brushed past the two men. gc reached over and
gave Ares' studly butt a playful, yet deliciously lingering, squeeze.
"Yeah, if you like mushy, veiny, hairy, he-man titties, I guess so," mused Mezzo, raising an eyebrow at seeing her fellow goddess cop a feel. "But he does have fabulous arms. You know, the kind that could just wrap around you and�"
The fan fic goddesses disappeared behind the hill and the scene
resumed.
Love and Manson glanced about, confused for a moment. "Did something just happen and we missed it?" asked Manson. Love shrugged. The rock-n-roll high priestesses noticed Xena and Gabrielle were still standing, staring into each other's eyes. Love and Manson smiled at each other.
"Our work here is done," said Love. "Now I gotta get back and kick some Nirvana ass."
And with that, the two women climbed onto their horses and rode off into the sky.
Hmmm, thought Tapert looking after them. Flying horses. I should use that sometime.
Ares, meanwhile, stood perfectly still, his eyes popping and mouth agape at the dance Xena and Gabrielle had just shared.
"That was...hot," squawked the dark stud.
"That was love," sighed Colleen, staring at the bard and the Warrior
Princess.
"Love? Are you nuts�they're not in love, they're just friends!" yelled a
thoroughly exasperated, eternally clueless Tapert.
But the pregnant executive had to admit that the dance was hot and
he tucked it away for future use. But I'll have to change the scene a little, he thought. That way people won't know I, um, borrowed it.
"How come she didn't react that way to my song?" queried Ares, truly
perplexed by the Warrior Princess' actions.
"Face it, Ares," said the doe-eyed co-ed. "When it comes to real, true,
drop you to your knees love...you're just half of Milli Vanilli in a Courtney Love world."
"I'm not following you," said Ares. "And I think I've just been insulted."
The former God of War felt a breeze. He looked down. "OK. Where's my shirt?" And then a strange, happy grin crossed the handsome mortal's face. "And why does my butt-cheek feel so warm and tingly?"
Colleen giggled. "The Island Goddesses have been here," she said,
eyeing Ares with not a small amount of adorable lust.
"That's a good look on you, Ares," said Tapert finally noticing the dark
stud's naked chest. "I should have you run around shirtless next season as much as possible."
All of this passed unnoticed by Xena and Gabrielle, still standing close
and enjoying the afterglow of their recent sultry groove.
"Gabrielle, you were so angry�" began Xena.
"I was. And then I remembered something Aphrodite said about what's going on here," said the bard softly.
"What's that?" asked Xena.
"To remember what's most important to me..."
"It's still me?" the warrior whispered, her voice wavering with equal parts hope and fear.
"Always," the bard smiled into Xena's relief-filled eyes. She raised her mouth up for a kiss.
The executive launched himself at the steamy dynamic duo.
"You know what would be really hot?" said Tapert as he squeezed his
pregnant belly in between Xena and Gabrielle, thwarting their kiss. The two stepped back from each other, giving Tapert and his enormously pregnant stomach room. "If we stuck a guy in the middle of this dance. Then you get the hotness of two women dancing, but people will still think they're straight. Damn, I'm good," said the red-haired executive.
Tapert looked around at the group expectantly. "So, who won?" he asked Xena excitedly. "Me, right? Yeah. I thought so."
Xena smiled at the bard. "Gabrielle's the winner, Tapert. Always has been. Always will be."
"What?!" screeched Tapert. "Of all the...Why I oughtta," he sputtered.
The redhead shuffled around in a circle in frustration, trying to decide
what to do when he suddenly ran back to the stage. The pregnant
executive attempted to climb up the front of the stage, but after three
failed attempts he ran to the side and climbed the steps. From his
semi-lofty height, Tapert grabbed the mike and promptly launched into a rant about the unfairness of it all.
Colleen sighed and rolled her eyes. "Will this ever end?" she said quietly.
Gabrielle chuckled. "I guess we ought to let him have his say."
"Do we have a choice?" snorted Xena as Tapert continued his rant.
