(We open up the ramble with Nexus, Rayna, Gabe, Abra, Karah, Brandon, Kimbo, Cloud, Tifa, Sephiroth, Reno, Irvine, and Rufus hanging around in the Ramble Room. None of them know what to do, most of them are just making small talk to one another.)

Rufus: Reno, you and Irvine shouldn't be drinking this time of the day! I'll have your ass fired in a heartbeat if you keep on doing it!

Reno: Hey! You can't really tell me what to do! Besides, Tseng's really my boss!

Irvine: But isn't Rufus the boss of your boss?

Reno: Yea, but he doesn't need to know that.

Rufus: Reno, I already know I'm the boss of Tseng!

Reno: Hush it, luv! Nobody needs to know . . . *hiccup*

Rufus: . . . Reno, are you already drunk?!

Reno: *hiccup* Maybe . . .

Rufus: What do I normally say about drunks?

Reno: I don't wanna say . . .

Rufus: What does Mr. President say about drunks?

Reno: I don't wanna say!

Rufus: Say it!

Irvine: Come on, man, I wanna hear it.

Reno: *sigh and hiccup* People who *hiccup* waste their *hiccup* life with alco-- *hiccup* -- hol, grow up to *hiccup* become *hiccup* Democrats.

Rufus: That's right, Reno. Now quit drinking or you're fired!

Nexus: What the hell is with Rufus and Reno?

Sephiroth: Does it look like I care?

Rayna: Apparently not.

Abra: *glares at Rayna*

Nexus: *looks at Abra* Is something wrong with you or something?

Abra: Huh? Oh, no, nothing's wrong.

Rayna: You were giving me another dirty look, weren't you?

Abra: *narrows eyes* No! Whatever gave you that idea?

Rayna: *narrows eyes* I dunno . . . just a hunch, I guess.

Sephiroth: *smacks them both* Stop it, before I Octaslash both of you!

Rayna: Grrr! *smacks him back*

Sephiroth: Hey!!

Nexus: You deserved it.

Sephiroth: The hell I did!

Karah: *playing with Kimbo* Hehe, you're so cute!

Brandon: Just be careful with him.

Kimbo: The blood of the innocent will be scattered upon your flesh!

Gabe: Holy hell! Did that dog just talk?!

Nexus: You heard it too?!

Gabe: Yes! And it wasn't too pleasing either!

Sephiroth: Okay, both of you are obviously dog haters.

Nexus: I've told you! I love dogs! But that thing is evil!

Gabe: I feel the same way about this dog! It's evil!

Karah: You guys are horrible!

Kimbo: Hail the Dark Prince!

Sephiroth: See? It's just a harmless puppy.

Nexus: Harmless my ass!!

Abra: Settle down, you ass.

Rayna: Don't call my boyfriend an ass, you whore!

Abra: Don't call me a whore!

Nexus: Then don't call me an ass, you whore.

Abra: Wow, hate me much?

Nexus: What EVER gave you that idea?

Abra: *mockingly* I dunno . . . just a hunch, I guess.

Rayna: GRRR!!! *attacks Abra* You stupid bitch!!

Abra: GAH!! GET OFF ME!!!

Rayna: I'll kill you, you wicked bitch!!

Nexus: Gotta love that name, hehe.

Sephiroth: Don't you think you should stop them?

Nexus: *looks at Rayna and Abra fighting* . . . nah, besides, Rayna's gonna win, and I really don't want to get in the way of her fighting.

Sephiroth: Whatever you say.

(There's a knock on the door. Nexus gets up to answer. Unfortunately, it's only Calla.)

Nexus: . . . oh, great. It's you. What do you want?

Calla: Hey! You need to come quick! Beth got into an argument with someone over some abortion crap--

Nexus: You do realize that it was me she got into an argument with, right?

Calla: . . . then I'm guessing you're the one who hung her upside down on a flag pole and had a bunch of rabid chocobos attack her?!

Nexus: . . . I have no idea what you're talking about.

Calla: Nexus! All this because she thinks abortion is alright?!

Nexus: If she hadn't insulted me in calling me stupid because I go to Madison Media Institute, WHICH is one of the top rated colleges in the country!!! Then I wouldn't have had to do that to her.

Calla: Well, that wasn't nice of her, but you didn't have to do that to her either!

Gabe: *walks up to Nexus and whispers* You want me to handle her for ya?

Nexus: *whispers back* Go for it.

Gabe: *smirks at Calla*

Calla: . . . what?

Gabe: Just follow me . . . *grabs Calla's hand and walks off with her*

Calla: What are you--

(Nexus closes the door and after a few short minutes, a high-pitched scream is heard off in the distance.)

Sephiroth: What the hell was that?!

Rayna: Who cares?

Abra: *with a swollen lip* Yea . . .

Nexus: Whoa! What the hell happened to you?!

Abra: Bour birlbriend beat be to a bwoody bulb!!

Nexus: . . . I'm sorry, what?

Abra: BI BAID!! BOUR BIRLBRIEND BEAT BE TO A BWOODY BULB!!

Nexus: Nope, didn't catch that either.

Abra: BI BATE BOU!!!

Nexus: Seriously, stop talking, you dumb brawd!

Sephiroth: That's a little mean, don't you think?

Nexus: *glares* You're one to talk.

Karah: Damn right, Sephiroth. You're the meanest guy out there! How are you able to say that he's being mean?

Kimbo: Those who are mean will RULE the world, but Satan rules all!!

Nexus: Okay, the dog has to go.

Brandon: Well, I do have to get going anyway. I'll talk to you all later. *takes Kimbo and leaves*

Sephiroth: . . . *smacks Nexus* You're one cruel bastard, you know that?

Nexus: Don't hit me, and shut up!

Karah: So, guys! What's on the agenda today?

Gabe: *comes walking in* That was fun. I gotta do that again!

Sephiroth: What'd you do?

Gabe: Wouldn't you all like to know, hehe!

Sephiroth: If you raped her, I'll laugh.

Gabe: Ew, hell no.

Nexus: I don't care what he did to her, as long as something bad happened, I don't care.

Tifa: That's horrible!

Cloud: KITTY!!!

Nexus: Shut up, Cloud.

Sephiroth: He'll never shut up.

Nexus: He will, once someone gives him alcohol.

Reno: Did someone *hiccup* say *hiccup* ALCOHOL?!?! *runs to Cloud and pours a ton of beer down his throat* Here you *hiccup* go, pal!

Nexus: I didn't mean now!!

Reno: Oh . . . *hiccups* woops!

Tifa: Cloud? Are you okay?

Cloud: Ugh . . . *shakes head* Tifa? What am I doing here?

Tifa: We're just hanging out here at the Ramble Room.

Cloud: Oh . . . *sees Sephiroth* SEPHIROTH!!!

Sephiroth: What do you want, retard?

Cloud: You killed my mother! And destroyed my hometown! . . . oh, and you also killed Zack!

Sephiroth: What are you talking about? Zack's fine! He's working as a referee over at the paintball arena.

Cloud: I don't believe a word you say, you bastard!!

Sephiroth: Take that back!

Cloud: Make me!

Sephiroth: *stands up* Alright, then! *grabs Cloud by the collar and drags him off somewhere*

Nexus: . . . okay? Well, what should we all do?

Gabe: I got an idea!

Karah: What is it?

Gabe: Why don't we go to Coste del Sol?

Nexus: Bad idea.

Tifa: Why?

Nexus: The sun is bad for the complection. I burn easy, never tan.

Karah: Pathetic excuse.

Rayna: Come on, hun, you need some sunlight!

Nexus: *hisses* The light . . . it burns us!

Rayna: Don't be silly! It won't hurt!

Nexus: No. No way! There's no way in HELL I'm going to Coste del Sol!

(Next thing he knows, they're all at Coste del Sol. Nexus, Rayna, Karah, Gabe, Abra, Tifa, Rufus, Reno, and Irvine are all there enjoying the time in the sun, except for Nexus. He's roasting to death.)

Nexus: I can't believe I'm here at Coste del Sol.

Rayna: Don't worry about it. You'll be fine.

Nexus: At least I'm away from that sadistic freak, Sephiroth.

Rufus: Yes, think about the positive things!

Reno: *hiccup* Yea, like I *hiccup* said before *hiccup* you should *hiccup* make your life *hiccup* simple like mine! I care *hiccup* about two things. *hiccup* Beer and boobs. *hiccups and looks at Karah again* OH BABY!!!

Karah: Hehe, stop that!

Reno: Aww, you *hiccup* know you love *hiccup* it, baby! *hiccup*

Nexus: Seriously, I need to get out of the sun. I'm burning up!

Rayna: Oh, come on, you big pansy. Don't be such a wuss.

Nexus: If you burned easily in the sun, you'd feel the same way.

Abra: You're just being a baby.

Nexus: Do you want another fat lip?

Gabe: Wow, that's really harsh.

Nexus: No, it wasn't.

Abra: Yes, it was!

Nexus: If I say "No, it wasn't", then that means NO, IT WASN'T!!!

Abra: Fine, don't have a cow.

Nexus: I'll have a damn cow if I so choose.

Rayna: Settle down, hun.

Nexus: *grumbles* Fine. *sets up and umbrella to shade himself from the sun*

Tifa: Oh, hey! Gabe! Could you be a dear and rub some lotion on my back for me?

Gabe: R-Really?! Sure! *grabs the lotion*

Tifa: Hehe, a bit anxious, are we? *undoes her bra while lying face down on a towel*

Gabe: *applies lotion to Tifa's back and his nose begins to bleed*

Nexus: Don't be so embarassed, man.

Rayna: Then how about you apply some lotion to my back, hun? *winks as she walks up in a black bikini top and bottom*

Nexus: *eyes go wide and nose bursts with blood*

Gabe: So who's embarassed now? Hm?!

Nexus: Keep talking and you'll wake up tomorrow, very confused, in Cuba.

Rayna: Oh, be nice, baby. *sits in front of Nexus with her back to him* Just rub my back with some lotion.

Nexus: *eyes widen more and rubs her back with lotion*

Rayna: Hehe, you like that, don't you?

Nexus: *nods* Mm-hmm!

Gabe: Hell, who wouldn't love applying sun-tan lotion on a hot woman's back?

Rayna: Thanks, Gabe. I was talking to Nexus. And I see you're enjoying be near Tifa.

Tifa: *looks up at Gabe* Um, Gabe. Did you steal Sephiroth's Masamune or are you just happy to see me? Hehe!

Gabe: What? *looks down* Oh dear god! *tries to hide it*

Tifa: Don't bother trying to hide it. Why don't we go over to the Inn and stay there for a while? *winks*

Gabe: Hells f***ing yea!! *grabs Tifa's hand and runs off with her to the Inn*

Nexus: Uh . . .

Rayna: Uh . . .

Karah: *runs up the Nexus and splashes water in his face from a bucket*

Nexus: *soaked* . . . oh, you're so dead!

Karah: No, I'm not! *runs off into the water to join Reno, Rufus, and Irvine*

Rayna: Hun, don't worry about it. *licks his cheek* You'll be fine.

Nexus: *grumbles* I guess . . . *leans against Rayna*

Rayna: *holds him close to her* Like I said, baby, you'll be fine.*

Nexus: I hate the sun . . . it burns us.

Rayna: *laughs* No it won't!

Rufus: *runs up* You having problems with the sun or something, Nexus?

Reno: *runs up next to Rufus* Hey, Rufy ol' boy! Whatcha doin' up here?

Nexus: Bothering me, just like you're doing.

Reno: Whoa, take it easy man.

Rayna: Hey, why don't we do the same thing as Gabe and Tifa, and get a room at the Inn?

Nexus: *eyes widen* Really?! *grabs her hand and runs off to the Inn*

Rayna: So . . . is there a certain something you want to do? Hehe.

Nexus: *flops on the bed* Oh, you know it, baby!

Rayna: Oh, I do, huh? *flops on top of him*

Nexu: Hehe! *kisses Rayna*

(Noises can be heard from the next room. Both Nexus and Rayna look up at the wall trying to listen in)

Gabe: *from the next room* OH TIFA!!!

Tifa: *also from the next room* Oh GOD, GABE!!

Nexus: . . . I wanna go home, that was a mood killer.

Rayna: I know. They killed the mood for both of us.

(They sat on the bed nuzzling each other for the rest of their time in Costa del Sol. They went back to the Ramble Room and found the entire place trashed. Sephiroth is sitting on the couch with Cloud on the ground tied up on the floor.)

Nexus: What the hell happened?!

Sephiroth: Um . . . hold on, let me think for a second. . . . . . . Okay, I got it. Two strange men busted in here and tried to steal things. I caught them red handed and started to fight them. They then asked if they could tie up Cloud and they would leave. I happily agreed because at that point, Cloud had sobered up and he was his old retarded self again.

Rayna: You expect us to believe that?

Sephiroth: I was kinda hoping you would.

Nexus: You're so gonna f***ing clean all this up!

Gabe: *walks in* What the hell happened?!

Nexus: Sephiroth trashed the place.

Sephiroth: That's such a harsh yet accurate way of putting it.

Tifa: Should we kick his ass?

Nexus: Nah, I have a better idea.

Sephiroth: What do you mean by that, numb nuts?!

(After a short while, Sephiroth is hanging from the ceiling by his wrists with his jacket off and his bare back to Rayna. She is whipping him constantly.)

Rayna: SAY MY NAME, BITCH!!

Sephiroth: GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! RAYNA!!! YOU'RE NAME'S RAYNA!!!

Rayna: SAY MY REAL NAME, BITCH!!!! *whips more*

Sephiroth: OOOOWWWWW!!!! I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR REAL NAME!!!

Rayna: TO YOU, IT'S "MISTRESS RAYNA"!!! *whips harder*

Sephiroth: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gabe: Isn't this being a little harsh?

Nexus: Oh please, he's the One-Winged Angel. He can handle it. Besides, this makes me happy, and I think Rayna's also happy as well! Hehe!

Rayna: *whips harder yet, getting blood out of Sephiroth* WHAT'S MY NAME YOU C***-SUCKER!!!

Sephiroth: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MISTRESS RAYNA!!! YOU'RE F***ING NAME IS MISTRESS RAYNA!!!!

Rayna: Good boy!! *whips more repeatedly*

Sephiroth: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

The End!

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