(This story begins with Nexus in his room, with Sephiroth, Karah, Gabe, Aeris, Abra, Rufus, Reno, and Kadaj outside his door trying to get him to come out.)
Sephiroth: Nexus, get your ass out here!
Abra: Come on! You have to come out sometime!
Karah: Please, come out for us!
Nexus: *from inside* Just go away, all of you . . .
Aeris: Please, Nexus? For us?
Kadaj: Yea man, you can't stay in there for the rest of your life!
Nexus: *from inside* Shows you what you know.
Rufus: Nexus! Either get out here or you're fired!
Reno: Yea, like that's gonna motivate him . . .
Rufus: Either get out here or Reno's fired!
Reno: STAY IN THERE, NEXUS!!
Nexus: *from inside* I plan on it!
Gabe: Dude, come on! You have to get on with your life.
Nexus: *from inside* Depression sucks, my life sucks . . . what's there to get on with?
Abra: You're STILL depressed?!
Nexus: *from inside* Of course I am!!
Sephiroth: So? I technically should be depressed since the Planet was stolen from my Mother, but you don't see me crying over it!
Nexus: *from inside* Then what was that incident a few mon--
Sephiroth: Don't ever bring that up!
Aeris: What were you crying over?
Sephiroth: I wasn't crying over anything!
Rufus: I cry when I lose any easy game I play, does that make you feel better, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: You never play by the rules! Why the hell would you cry?!
Rufus: Screw the rules! I have money!
Sephiroth: Only you would say that . . .
Reno: And I would know . . .
Rufus: Reno, you're fired for 20 minutes!
Reno: Finally, a break!
Karah: Rufy-sama! Don't fire Reno!
Rufus: . . . fine, Reno, you're unfired.
Reno: Damn you, Karah!
Karah: Damn me? Awww, you wouldn't want to "damn" me . . . you'd want to "f--"
Nexus: *from inside* NOT HELPING!!
Karah: Oh, sorry Nexus.
Sephiroth: Yea right! You're not sorry!
Karah: *whipser* Nexus doesn't need to know that.
Nexus: *from inside* I can hear you, Karah!
Karah: Eep!
Gabe: *laughs*
Sephiroth: What are you laughing at, TV Killer?
Abra: Yea, Gabe, you still owe me that TV . . .
Gabe: Note to self: Kill Sephiroth in his sleep.
Sephiroth: You'll never be able to do that!
Aeris: He's right. Cloud still is trying . . .
Kadaj: Cloud's too retarded to figure out who's who! He doesn't even know who HE is!
Aeris: Still, Cloud's been trying for years!
Sephiroth: Like Kadaj said, he's too retarded to kill me.
Kadaj: Exactly!
Abra: But don't forget, you two are RELATED to that retard!
Cloud: *runs in with arms out lik an airplane* WEEEE!!
Sephiroth: Look, as if on cue!
Cloud: Kitty?
Abra: No, Cloud. Sephiroth is not a kitty!
Cloud: *looks at Abra and stares*
Abra: . . . ?
Sephiroth: Oh no . . . this isn't gonna be pretty.
Abra: What do you mean?
Sephiroth: Watch.
Cloud: *continues to stare* Pretty . . .
Sephiroth: See?!
Abra: What? He just called me pretty! I think that's sweet!
Sephiroth: Exactly. You're not pretty at all . . . you're just pretty ugly.
Cloud: *punches Sephiroth repeatedly*
Sephiroth: ACK!! I'M BEING ASSAULTED BY A RETARD!!!
Abra: You deserved that for calling me ugly!
Nexus: *from inside* Big deal! Who gives a shit?
Abra: You?
Nexus: *from inside* No, not really.
Abra: . . . fine . . .
Sephiroth: To hear that from either of you, that's really disturbing.
Abra: What are you talking about?
Gabe: I think he means that to hear Nexus say that he doesn't care that someone called you ugly and to hear you just take it is really wrong. We would never expect either of you to say that.
Cloud: Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!!!
Sephiroth: WILL YOU SHUT UP!! *stabs*
Cloud: OWIE!! *runs to Abra and quivers*
Abra: *holding Cloud* Sephiroth! That wasn't nice at all! How could you?!
Sephiroth: Easy! Want me to show you again?
Karah: Sephiroth! Stop that! Don't you even THINK of stabbing Cloud, even though he IS annoying.
Abra: He isn't annoying to me . . . in fact, I kinda like him.
Nexus: *from inside* Ok, THAT is the most disturbing thing I'll ever hear!!
Sephiroth: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Aeris: I used to like Cloud, but now I think he's disgusting . . . how could you fall for someone like Cloud, Abra?
Abra: I dunno. I just like him is all . . .
Rufus: Well, I suggest you stop that! He's retarded! LOOK at him!
Cloud: *picks his nose*
Abra: So he's sober. We can fix that!
Kadaj: I suggest that you don't give him alcohol! He'll be normal! And he's WORSE when he's normal!
Abra: *gives Cloud a ton of alcohol*
Cloud: Ugh . . . what? Hey everyone! Good to see you all! Except you, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: What about Kadaj?!
Cloud: Eh, hating Kadaj isn't worth it. Besides, he died at the end of the movie.
Kadaj: Ye-- HEY!!!
Cloud: What? It's true!
Kadaj: Doesn't mean you have to rub it in . . .
Nexus: *from inside* As much fun as it is to hear all of you talking outside my door, would you please just leave me alone! I'm sick of hearing all of you talk right now!
Sephiroth: *sigh* Fine! Have it your way!
Abra: Alright.
Gabe: Okay, man. I'll do as you say.
Kadaj: Same here.
Cloud: I don't know what's going on, but okay.
Aeris: As will I.
Karah: As you wish, Nexus.
Rufus: You're fired for 10 minutes, Nexus!
Reno: Lucky bastard . . .
(Everyone left the area in front of Nexus' door and went into the living room. Nexus, hours later, snuck out with a bag of stuff. He walked out the front door and headed out away from the Usual Spot.)
Nexus: So long . . . everyone. *leaves*
(We go back to the Usual Spot the next day. Sephiroth attempts to get into Nexus' room.)
Sephiroth: Get out here, Nexus! I'm being dead serious!
(No answer from Nexus' room.)
That's it! I'm getting my Masamune out! I'm breaking down the damn door! *breaks down the door with the Masamune* What? It's empty? Oh look there's a note. *picks it up and reads*
To whom it may concern,
You may be wondering why I wrote this letter, let alone why I'm not
physically here. Here's the reason behind both of them: I have run away. Don't try to look for me, because you'll never find me.
It has occured to me that I'm not really cared by anyone. No one really cares about me, they only "say" they do. So, please, for
the love of all that is holy, don't look for me! I'll probably never see any of you again. Goodbye, everyone.
Signed,
Nexus.
Sephiroth: What?! TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN?! He should have at least put MY name!
(We see Sephiroth heading back to the living room and turn on the new television that Abra had to buy. Next, Abra comes out of her room and sits next to Sephiroth, yawning.)
Abra: *yawns* Good morning, Sephiroth. What are you doing here so early?
Sephiroth: Eh, was here trying to get Nexus to come out.
Abra: I see . . .
Sephiroth: Yup . . .
Abra: So . . . any luck?
Sephiroth: Don't need any luck.
Abra: Why?
Sephiroth: He ran away.
Abra: Oh . . .
Sephiroth: Yup.
Abra: . . . HE DID WHAT?!?!?!
Sephiroth: He ran away! Probably because of what you did to him!
Abra: I didn't do anything to him!
Sephiroth: Excuse me? You pretty much destroyed his life.
Kadaj: *walks in* Hey guys! Has Nexus come out yet?
Sephiroth: He ran away.
Abra: And I'm to blame . . .
Kadaj: No surprise there. You hurt him pretty bad.
Abra: What do you mean?!
Kadaj: He told me everything. You admitted to him that you no longer had feelings for him. He loved you, and probably still does.
Abra: He told you that?
Sephiroth: YOU DID WHAT?!?!
Abra: I love him like a brother now . . . there's nothing I can do.
Sephiroth: *slaps Abra* You idiot! He loved you, and you go and hurt him like this! I had some respect for you, but now I could NEVER respect you!
Abra: *looks away after being slapped*
Sephiroth: I say we should all go out and look for him. That way you can apologize for all the bullcrap you put him through!
(Both Kadaj and Sephiroth head out of the Usual Spot.)
Kadaj: Don't you think that was a bit harsh of you to slap her?
Sephiroth: She deserved it. After all the stuff she put him through, I don't blame him any for running away.
Kadaj: I guess . . . but did you have to slap her like that?
Sephiroth: Would you have done any different?
Kadaj: Probably not.
Sephiroth: We're gonna have to get as many people to help us look for him. We should start out with ShinRa Inc.
Kadaj: Gonna get the Turks to help, huh?
Sephiroth: Yup.
(Sephiroth and Kadaj headed out toward ShinRa Inc. Neither of them were too happy about it, but it was the only idea they had at the time. We move in on the people at ShinRa Inc. to see what they are up to.)
Rufus: I'm extremely upset with all of you!
Reno: What did we do now?!
Karah: Calm down, Rufus. It's not that big of a deal.
Rufus: If YOU had 10 gil stolen from you, you'd be upset too!
Tseng: Seriously, Mr. President.It's not really that big of a deal. Ten Gil won't buy you much of anything.
Rufus: But I was saving that gil for Mr. Fluffers' education!
Reno: We're sick of hearing about your damn stuffed bear!!
Rufus: BAD RENO!! HOW DARE YOU TALK BAD ABOUT MR. FLUFFERS!!
Reno: I seriously think you have lost it, sir.
Elena: Reno! Don't talk bad about either Mr. Fluffers or the President!
Reno: I'll talk bad about whoever the f*** I want! Rude, back me up on this!
Rude: *sigh* . . .
Reno: See?! He backed me up!
Karah: All he did was sigh.
Reno: That's Rude's way of agreeing.
Rude: *sigh*
Reno: See?
Rufus: That's just a sigh! He didn't say a damn thing, so he obviously doesn't agree with you, he agrees with me!
Rude: I'm trying to stay out of the conversation.
Rufus: Shut up, Rude. No one cares what you have to say.
Reeve: Mr. President. If we could get on with the--
Rufus: What are you on about now, Reeve?
Reeve: I'm saying can we get on with the important stuff? I think I may have Cait Sith back up and running!
Rufus: Oh. Good! Turn him on and see if he works!
Reeve: *turns the little robot cat on*
Cait Sith: Oy! That was one long power nap!
Reeve: How do you feel, Cait Sith?
Cait Sith: I feel . . . I feel . . . *looks at Reeve* I feel like I want to KILL YOU!!! *attackes Reeve*
Reeve: OMG!! GET THIS THING OFF ME!!! *attacks the cat with a paper clip*
Cait Sith: Attacking me with a damn paper clip? Not gonna work!!!
Reeve: NOOOOOOO!!!
Rufus: Reeve, quit playing with the damn stuffed cat!
Reeve: Get this thing off me!!
Reno: Jesus Christ . . . *smacks Cait Sith with the Electro-Magnetic Rod*
Cait Sith: *knocked out*
Rufus: Get the damn cat thing fixed!
Reeve: Y-Yes, sir!
Sephiroth: *walks in* Hey! Listen up!
Rufus: Get out, Sephiroth!
Kadaj: No, really! Listen to him!
Sephiroth: Yea! Now shut up!
Rufus: Fine . . .
Sephiroth: Okay! Listen up! I went to see if Nexus was alright . . . turns out he ran away.
Karah: WHAT?!?!
Reno: Lucky bastard!
Elena: That's not cool!
Rude: My god . . .
Tseng: I hope he's alright.
Sephiroth: I doubt that he is! Abra was stuid enough to admit to him that she doesn't like him like a lover, only as a brother.
Karah: Ouch. That would hurt.
Tseng: Yes, it would, Karah.
Rufus: Alright, then. Turks!
(Every one of the turks stood up, except Reno.)
Rufus: That means you too, Reno!!
Reno: Fine! *stands up* Hardass . . .
Rufus: I'm ordering you all to go out and look for Nexus. Think the same way he thinks, that way you'll find him faster.
Sephiroth: I could have thought of that!
Rufus: But you didn't! So nyeh!
Sephiroth: Damn you, Rufus.
Karah: Damn him? You wouldn't want to "damn" him, Sephy-kun! You'd want to "f---"
Sephiroth: I SWEAR TO JENOVA, KARAH, IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE, I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Karah: Eep!
Rufus: Either way, go out and search for Nexus!
Turks: OKAY!
(The Turks went out in search of Nexus. Sephiroth and Kadaj decide to go over and ask the other Final Fantasy VII characters for help.)
Cloud: KITTY!!!
Aeris: Goddammit, Cloud, shut up!
Cloud: Kitty?
Tifa: Cloud, seriously, you need to stop acting retarded!
Barret: How the f*** did he become so f***ing retarded, dammit?
Tifa: He was trying to play a prank on Sephiroth when he was in SOLDIER . . . one thing led to another, and it backfired on Cloud.
Cid: &^%&$&*%$%^%$%^$*&^%^%$%#&^$^$&^#^%#&%$!!!
Aeris: OMG!! Cid! You have such a mouth on you!!
Cid: #^%#&^*#@&*^#*?!
Red XIII: You really need to be quiet, now, Cid.
Barret: Yo! Shut yer ass up, Kangaroo/rat!
Red XIII: I'm not a Kangaroo/rat, as you so put it!
Cid: #*#&#*@(&#(*#&@(&#$!!!!!!
Barret: You said it, foo'!
Cid: #*(%$^#^*&@#^%@&%&@^$#*#&#^@!!!
Red XIII: I wish you'd shut up!
Aeris: Red, you know he's never going stop.
Red XIII: One can dream, can't he?
Tifa: Oh well . . .
Sephiroth: *walks up* Hey guys, you hear what happened?
Aeris: Did you kill a different girl?! HOW COULD YOU?!?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!!
Tifa: Shut up, you stupid whore!
Aeris: DON'T CALL ME A WHORE!!!
Kadaj: Oh, come off it, Aeris. We all know about it.
Aeris: . . . shut up!
Sephiroth: Look, I'm not here about that bullcrap! Nexus ran away and we have the Turks looking for him. We want you all to help too.
Barret: Yo, foo'! What the f*** do we get out of it? DAMN #*#$&@#!!!
Cid: #*&%#@(*^#$%$#&@^#%*#@$%*&#^%$*#@.com!!
Sephiroth: . . . what the hell did he just say to me?!?!
Red XIII: He said, "^%*&^%$*^%$*^%$&^%#@(%&^%.com!!".
Sephiroth: That's what I thought he said . . . I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, CID!!
Cid: %^$&^%*%(&%^$&^%$^&$@#&^%#(%&#%#@(&%#@^&%#@(&%%?!?!?!
Barret: Yo, you don't want to be doin' that!
Sephiroth: And why not, Mr. "ShinRa destroyed my hometown, but I'm the one being blamed!"?
Barret: *starts crying* Why'd you hafta go there?
Aeris: That wasn't nice, Sephy!
Sephiroth: Neither was stabbing you in the back, but you didn't complain.
Aeris: I WAS DEAD!!!
Sephiroth: What's your point?
Tifa: Look, can we just get on with the subject at hand? Nexus ran away! Let's look for him!
Red XIII: I concur!
Barret: Yo, shut yer ass up, Cat/rat/moo/stump!
Red XIII: I'm not a cat or rat. Moo is a sound. And a stump isn't even a living thing!
Barret: Then what the hell are yeh?
Cid: ^%$*$^%$*^%$%*^$^%$*$*^%$!!!
Red XIII: I am what I am.
Sephiroth: Listen guys! Just go out and look for Nexus!
Everyone but Sephiroth and Kadaj and Cloud: Okay!
(So Sephiroth and Kadaj let them all go out in search of Nexus. We now see Sephiroth and Kadaj heading back to the Usual Spot.)
Kadaj: What are we doing back at the Usual Spot?
Sephiroth: We're just gonna sit here and let everyone else do all the work.
Kadaj: I think we should help!
Sephiroth: Why should we? He's done nothing for us!
Kadaj: What about this place for us to hang out in?
Sephiroth: Abra's basement? Yea right.
Abra: Hey! You two should be out looking for him!!
Sephiroth: Said the girl who broke his heart.
Abra: Look, I still like him as a friend, get over it! But the fact of the matter is, we need to find him!
Sephiroth: Where do you suggest we look?
Abra: Well, we should probably check the most likely places he would be . . .
Kadaj: And where would that be, you dumb brawd?
Abra: I think I may know, but not for sure . . . Come on! *leads them off on the next adventure*
To be Continued . . .
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