(Sephiroth is standing in what appears to be
an old Gothic-style Cathedral, except it looked more evil and sinister.
The door at the end of the aisle opened up behind Sephiroth and in walked
Nexus.)
Nexus: Sephiroth, exactly what are you doing in a chapel? I didn't think you were the type to hang in a place like this.
Sephiroth: What's it to you? Like anyone cares for someone as evil as me . . .
Nexus: That's not true! I can name a shit load of people who care about you!
(Crickets begin to chirp as an eerie silence hit them.)
Sephiroth: . . . well?! Exactly who can you name?!
Nexus: Oh, you wanted me to tell you who cares about you? I thought it was implied.
Sephiroth: WHAT?!?! HOW THE HELL WOULD IT BE IMPLIED?!?!
Nexus: How should I know? But why don't we just head back to the house. Everyone there is probably worried about you.
Sephiroth: You expect me to go back to those freaks?! And besides, I don't think any of the other FF7 people care about me. And I DEFINATELY know that none of the FF8, 9, 10, and 12 people care any bit for me! And what about your friends?! They don't care either!
Nexus: Quit being emo, you momma's boy!! Just, come back to us! They all miss you! . . . I think?
Sephiroth: Yea, I'm sorely convinced now! I'm never going back!
Nexus: That's a shame, cause I know one of my friends REALLY likes you! And no, it wouldn't cause any Yaoi action to occur.
Sephiroth: *eyes go wide* NAN-DAYO?! Who is it?! Which of your friends likes me?!?!
Nexus: No way! I'm not telling you! You'll just have to find that out for yourself!
Sephiroth: *grabs Nexus and drags him out of the cathedral* Come on, then! Let's go!
(So Sephiroth and Nexus went back to the place they were currently located, which . . . apparently was just a beat up old shack.)
Nexus: Wow, we really need to fix the place up. Eh-heh *sweatdrop*
Sephiroth: Yea, you do! But who cares at the moment! Who likes me?!
Nexus: Oh, yea, about that . . .
Sephiroth: *looks to Nexus slowly* . . . Don't tell me . . . you lied to me!!!!
Nexus: "Lie" is such a strong, yet accurate word for what I did to you.
Sephiroth: YOU LITTLE F^%$^*^%!!! *draws out the Masamune and raises it*
????: SEPHIROTH! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!
Sephiroth: You dare command me? You do realize that you should be dead! I killed you in the damn game!
Aeris: So? And didn't Cloud kill you at the end of the game? As well as the movie! So you're one to talk!
Nexus: Thanks, Aeris! I owe you one!
Sephiroth: *mumbles under his breath*
Aeris: Awww, what's wrong with my poor Sephy? Does someone need a hug? *walks over to Sephiroth and gives him a hug* There, better?
????: AERIS!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HUGGING THE GUY WHO KILLED YOU?!?!
Nexus: Ok, who, in their right mind, gave Cloud alcohol so he'd act normal?!
Cloud: Why does everyone assume I'm stupid?
Sephiroth: Because you cheated! You used steroids and other body-enhancing drugs in order to beat me! Both in the game AND movie!
Cloud: DID NOT!!!
Nexus: Regardless, Cloud, have you ever realized how you act when you're not drunk?
Cloud: Um . . . no? I don't believe I ever have. Why? How bad is it?
Aeris: Oh, Cloud *sigh*
Sephiroth: Oh, you must see what you're really like, Cloud! I mean, one time, you were holding a broken pencil and you were crying, "MOMMY!! WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?!?! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" *laughs hysterically*
Aeris: That's not nice, Sephy!!
Nexus: Who cares? It's still funny! *laughs with Sephiroth and high fives him*
(The door opens up again and Nexus' friend, Gabe, walks out, carrying a box full of junk.)
Nexus: GABE!! . . . what are you doing with that box full of . . . junk?
Gabe: *looks at Nexus, then to the box, then back at Nexus* Junk? JUNK?! This isn't junk! This box is full of antiques that are going to be sold at the Gathering!
Nexus: . . . gathering of what? The Juggalos?
????: *giggles* No, but that would be SO kewl!!! No, this Gathering is just a party for all the Final Fantasy charas as well as Kingdom Hearts charas to join together and PARTEH!!!
Gabe: Well, finally decided to show up, eh, Karah?
Karah: *glares at Gabe* What do you mean by that?! I came as soon as you called! You know damn well it takes forever to get here from my house!
Gabe: Ok, sorry! Don't chew my ass off! I've been working hard trying to figure out what the hell we're gonna get rid of so we can make a shit load of money to help rebuild the place!
Nexus: Dude, you don't have to do that. I'll figure a way to make the money. You don't have to sell . . . hey!! ARE THOSE MY COMIC BOOKS?!?!?!
Gabe: *sweatdrop* Uh . . . I, uh . . . LOOKAKITTYINATREE!!! *runs to the car and drives off with the box of stuff*
Karah: Don't worry, Nexus. We'll help you get your revenge! KIKKA!!
(A mongoose pops it's head out of Karah's pocket and crawls out, looking up at Karah.)
Karah: You know what to do! *points towards the house*
Kikka: KEEKEEKEEKEE!! *runs up the stairs and through the doggy door and runs into Gabe's bedroom where she hides under his bed, waiting . . . *
Sephiroth: . . . that thing always gave me the creeps. Why do you keep a mongoose in your pocket, Karah?
Karah: Oh, that's easy! I won her in a Ramen eating contest! She's mah bestest buddy!
Aeris: A mongoose is your best friend? *whispers to Sephiroth* She's kinda strange, don't you think?
????: Hey, I heard that, yo!
Nexus: Oh great, if it isn't Reno. Weren't you supposed to be drunk about *checks watch* 3 hours ago at 8:00?
Reno: Heh, you wish. But then again, you should make your life simple like mine, Nexus. I only care about two things: beer and boobs! *looks at Karah* OH BABY!!!
Karah: *blushes and sweatdrops* Y-you . . . PERVERT!!! *slaps Reno across the face*
(Everyone but Reno and Karah sweatdrops. Then Karah walks off inside the house and slams the door shut . . . and the door falls off the hinges.)
Karah: . . . I'm not cleaning that up! HMPH! *storms inside*
Sephiroth: Yea, you really need to fix this place up, Nexus.
Nexus: *sarcastically* No! Ya think, Sephiroth?! This place needed to be fixed the first day we got it!
(Flashback to when Nexus first bought the place.)
Realator: I must warn you, it's a bit of a fixer-uper.
Nexus: Oh, how bad can it be? *goes to check the place out without the realator* . . . Why you NO GOOD MOTHER F...!!!!
(Back to the present)
Nexus: Yea, I should have read the fine print on the contract when buying this dump!
Aeris: Well, look on the bright side! You still have us as friends! *smiles*
Nexus: *thinks* God, remind me again why I let her in our group . . .
Cloud: Well, Nexus, just remember: All . . . *looks around and looks sad* . . . kitty?
Nexus: . . . ok? That was completely pointless. *looks to Sephiroth* Well? You got any bright ideas, Captain Planet?
Sephiroth: *looks to Nexus* What was that, soon -to-be-fat-lip?
Nexus: Eh, nothing. We should be going to this "Gathering" thing. It sounds like it should be a lot of fun!
Aeris: Who's all gonna be there, anyway?
Nexus: Well, supposedly it's gonna have a bunch of the Final Fantasy characters and some of the Kingdom Hearts people too.
Reno: Eh . . . I'm just gonna stay here. *walks back inside*
Nexus: Well, at least we can go!
(And so they went off to the park which is where the Gathering was to take place. A lot of tents were set up where people were selling stuff, Gabe being one of them.)
Aeris: Wow! Look at how many people showed up!
Sephiroth: Hmph! Just goes to show you how many morons could possibly gather in one place!
Nexus: You do realize you'd be part of those morons concidering you're here too.
Sephiroth: SHUT UP!!
(Squall, Irvine, Zell, Rufus, Tseng, and Reeve walk up to them.)
Rufus: Well, well, well! Look who showed up late, as usual! You're gettin docked a day's wages, Nexus!
Nexus: But I don't work for you, Rufus.
Rufus: Would you like a job?
Nexus: SURE!
Rufus: Good! Well . . . you're getting docked a day's wages!
Nexus: Aw Goddammit!!
Zell: Hey, come on, Rufus! Don't do that to the poor guy on his first day!
????: Oh, put a sock in it, chickenwuss!
Zell: *flips out* WHO CALLED ME THAT?!?!
Seifer: I did, chickenwuss! The one and only Seifer!
Irvine: Hey, come on, now! We don't need to fight all the time!
Sephiroth: Who asked you, Cowboy Geek?
Irvine: *takes out his shotgun and shoots Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *looks up and notices a white number 1 above his head* . . . MY HIT POINTS!!! MY PRECIOUS HIT POINTS!!!!!
Irvine: Oh shit! Wrong gun! *looks at Sephiroth who drew out the Masamune* *runs away screaming* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sephiroth: *takes off after Irvine* GET BACK HERE, COWBOY GEEK!!!!
Aeris: *sigh* There's just no point in trying to calm him down.
Squall: . . . Irvine probably had it coming anyway.
Nexus: Did Squall actually say something?!
(Sora, Roxas, and Axel join in with the group)
Sora: Hey guys, what's happening? And uh . . . why is Sephiroth chasing after Irvine?
Roxas: Who cares! That cowboy geek probably had it coming to begin with!
Axel: I so totally agree with my Roxas!
Roxas: How the hell am I your Roxas?
Nexus: Axel. Why is it that you hang around Roxas so much?
Axel: Oh that's easy! It's because we do EVERYTHING together! Like the time I dropped the soap in the shower . . . !
Nexus: OK!! WE GET THE POINT!!!
Reeve: Wow . . . that was a bit too much information for my ears.
Tseng: You're telling me!
Nexus: *looks around and sees Gabe at his tent selling the junk* Gabe! Where are my comic books?!
Gabe: Oh, they're long gone! And so is your stash of porn!
Nexus: What porn?
Gabe: Wait . . . if that wasn't your porn, then whose was it?
(Back at the house, Reno is looking for his stash of porn)
Reno: WHERE IS IT ALL?!?!?!
(Back to the Gathering)
Nexus: Who cares about the porn! You owe me for all those comic books, buddy!!
Gabe: Relax! We now have more than enough money to fix up the joint! We can even put in a bench swing! Or a Hot Tub!!!
Nexus: *thinks* Hmm . . . well, I do like the sound of the hot tub . . . Ok, fine! You got me convinced!
Gabe: YAY!!
Nexus: *swipes the money* But you don't get to keep this!
Gabe: . . . oh . . . *lowers head and sweatdrops*
Nexus: Anyway, I'm going to look around the joint! Catch ya, latas!
Karah: Hey! Nexus! *waves to him*
Nexus: Oh, hey, Karah! How's everything going for you?
Karah: Not too much, Rufus just gave me my pay! So I'm happy!
Nexus: I didn't know you worked for Rufus! How much is he paying you?
Karah: He pays me about 164k gil a day! Isn't that awesome?! *smiles to him all gleefully like*
Nexus: He just hired me today . . . and since I showed up late to this event, he docked me a day's wages!
Rufus: *suddenly walks up to them* Hey! What are you guys talking about? *sweatdrops*
Karah: Nexus was just telling me that you already docked him a day's wages on his first day! You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you, Rufus?
Rufus: NO! What ever gave you that idea, Nexus?
Nexus: You saying and I quote: "Good! Well . . . you're getting docked a day's wages!"
Rufus: You can't prove that!
Nexus: There were witnesses!!
Rufus: . . . YOU CAN'T PROVE THERE WERE WITNESSES!!
Nexus: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!
Rufus: How so?
Karah: Rufus, just admit that you did!
Rufus: *grumbles under his breath* Fine, I did!
Karah: There, was that so hard?
Tseng: *walks up with Reeve* For someone like Rufus, it's very hard to admit they're wrong.
Reeve: Yea, he blamed me for taking his stuffed animal thing when I clearly didn't. It was just under his bed! And he STILL hasn't apologized for that!
Rufus: How DARE you talk about Mr. Fluffers that way!
Nexus: As much fun as this all sounds, I'm gonna go over there and talk to Larxene who seems to be selling some weapons. *walks over to Larxene* Hiya, Larx!
Larxene: *looks up* Oh! Nexus! Hi! How are you today?
Nexus: Oh, I'm doing fine! I see that you're selling weapons. You're not selling them to little kids again, are you?
Larxene: *sweatdrop* Um . . . no?
Nexus: Ok, I just don't want to get in trouble for anything. I always had to bail you out when you got arrested!
Aeris: *runs up to Nexus* Nexus, you may want to hurry over to Sephiroth. He's about to kill Irvine!
Nexus: Ok, well, see you later, Larx, and STAY OUT OF TROUBLE! *runs over to Sephiroth and Irvine* Sephiroth! Drop your sword!
Sephiroth: Why? He shot me, so I get to hurt him!
Irvine: *shaking from fear* DON'T HURT ME!!!
Nexus: Sephiroth! I said, "DROP IT!!"
Sephiroth: *grumble* Fine! *sheathes the Masamune*
Aeris: Thank you, Sephy! *hugs him*
Sephiroth: Uh . . . you're welcome?
Nexus: Why don't us three go back to the house. I think we're done here.
(And they went back to the house. Hours passed and Gabe, Karah, Squall, Irvine, Rufus, Zell, Tseng, Reeve, Sora, Roxas, and Axel walk inside. Nexus, Sephiroth, and Aeris were sitting on the couch watching TV.)
Aeris: Hey everyone! Have a lot of fun?
Gabe: Oh yea, loads. Especially after Nexus swiped away all the cash I made!
Nexus: Since you sold all my comic books, it belongs to me!
Sora: You sold all his comic books? That seemed kinda Heartless of you, Gabe! *draws out the Keyblade* Are you a heartless?!
Gabe: *sigh* No, Sora, I'm not a Heartless. Sheathe that damned Keyblade before I beat your ass with my own sword!
Sora: Eep! *withdraws the Keyblade and sits next to Aeris*
Aeris: Aww, poor Sora! *hugs him* Better?
Sora: Hehe *blushes* yea.
Roxas: Sora! You know damn well that you're supposed to be in love with Kairi!
Axel: Yea, just like me and Roxas!
Roxas: GET OFF ME, AXEL!!!
Karah: *sits next to Nexus and hugs him* I'm tired, can I crash here, tonight?
Nexus: Sure, you can take the spare bedroom!
Rufus: Well, I'm taking these two clowns back to ShinRa HQ. They need to work overtime for me!
Tseng and Reeve: *sweatdrop*
Rufus: Come on, you slackers!
(Rufus, Tseng, and Reeve walk out the door and head to Shinra HQ.)
Gabe: Well, I'm also off to bed, g'night everyone!
Sephiroth: I'm off. I have to do a few things tomorrow. See ya, Nex.
Sora, Roxas, and Axel: See ya, we're outta here! *they all leave*
Aeris: Hey, Karah, didn't you send your mongoose friend somewhere?
Karah: Uhm . . . *thinks*
Gabe: *from his bedroom* GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT LICKED ME!!!! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The End!
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