(We open up the story with Nexus sleeping in his bedroom. Karah, Gabe, Twiggs, Rayna, Sephiroth, Aeris, Squall, Reno, Rufus, and Irvine are all sitting in the Ramble Room watching TV. None of them are satisfied with what the heck is on.)
Sephiroth: My god, about 1000 channels and nothing good on. How dare they!
Karah: Settle down, Sephiroth. We really don't need the drama.
Gabe: Man, this is so BORING!
Rufus: Why don't we go to ShinRa HQ and make me more mon-- I mean, have some REAL fun!
Reno: When it comes to working for you, it's NEVER fun, you sadistic bastard.
Rufus: What did you call me, Reno?!
Reno: A sadistic bastard.
Squall: Let's take on the Sorceress.
Sephiroth: You go ahead and kill the one who raised you, I'll have no part in that.
Gabe: This coming from the person who chopped off his mother's head to take with him.
Sephiroth: Hey! Do YOU want to try to carry a giant squid-like thing that probably weighs 200 pounds?
Gabe: . . . no.
Sephiroth: Then shut the hell up.
Twiggs: Hey! Why don't we go paintballing?
Gabe: I'm up for that!
Sephiroth: *smacks them both* No! We already did that, and I'm not gonna get shot by a damn retard again!
Twiggs: But I never did that with you guys.
Sephiroth: I don't care. We did it already, I'm not gonna do it again!
Twiggs: I was just making a suggestion . . .
Gabe: But it was a good suggestion.
Sephiroth: *smacks Gabe* Shut up, no it wasn't!
Gabe: Quit hitting me!
Rayna: Stop it, you two. We really don't need more drama around here.
Sephiroth: Fine by me. I hate damn drama.
Rayna: Same here.
Gabe: Who doesn't hate drama . . .
Karah: We all hate it.
Sephiroth: Something we can all agree on.
Irvine: Hey! I like some kind of drama. It makes the women more lovable. Hehe.
Reno: You said it, Irvine! Here, have a drink on me! *hands him a drink*
Irvine: Thanks pal!
Aeris: You guys are horrible!
Sephiroth: What do you expect out of a cowboy geek and a drunken monkey?
Reno: Hey! I'm not a damn drunken monkey, just a drunk!
Irvine: And why do you guys always call me a cowboy geek?
Sephiroth: Very good question, young Irvine. Here is your answer. *points out the hat* Stupid Cowboy Hat. *points out the jacket* Stupid Cowboy Jacket. *points out the pants* Stupid Cowboy Pants. *points out the boots* Stupid Cowboy Boots. *points out the gun* And Stupid Cowboy Guns. Anything else I can do for you, Cowboy Geek?
Irvine: That went too far!
Gabe: But he has a point.
Reno: Leave my buddy, Irvine, alone. It's not his fault he's like that.
Sephiroth: Then whose fault is it?
Rufus: Don't be blaming it on your family, Irvine.
Irvine: I wasn't going to! Even though it WAS their fault . . .
Sephiroth: Shut your ass up, Cowboy Geek!! *punches*
Irvine: Ow!!
Karah: Knock it off!
Rayna: Yea, before we kick your asses!
Sephiroth: Seriously, I thought you were supposed to be nice!
Rayna: I'm the female you, pretty much. I'm never nice!
Rufus: That's a scary thought.
Twiggs: Having one Sephiroth is bad enough. We really don't need a female Sephiroth.
Rayna: I'll scratch your eyes out, kid!
Twiggs: *gulp* Sorry . . .
Nexus: *walks out* What are you guys fighting about out here?
Rayna: Hey, Nexus! *walks to him and hugs*
Nexus: Hey, babe! *hugs back*
Karah: We were just bored as hell and some of us started causing drama.
Nexus: Like we need any more drama.
Sephiroth: That's what I said!
Nexus: Nobody cares what you think, you stupid jerk.
Sephiroth: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!
Reno: He called you a--
Sephiroth: THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, YOU F***TARD!!!
Reno: Fine, be a hardass.
Sephiroth: I'll be whoever I want to be!
Nexus: Like a Tree-hugging Momma's boy?
Sephiroth: I'll be that too if I-- wait, did you just take a crack at me?!
Nexus: Maybe.
Rayna: That was a good one, Nexus! *high fives*
Nexus: *high fives back* I thought it was.
Sephiroth: Just wait, Nexus, I'll get back at you one day for that!
Nexus: Good luck.
Gabe: Hey, Nexus! You and me! Downstairs. Now!
Nexus: Damn, you're in that much of a rush to fight me?
Gabe: Hells yea!
Nexus: Fine then. I'll meet you down there in a bit.
Gabe: *heads to the basement*
Sephiroth: You're seriously gonna fight him?
Nexus: I made a promise. I never back down from a promise.
Sephiroth: If you say so.
Aeris: I hope you guys have fun.
Nexus: Damn, Aeris, haven't seen you for a while. Where've you been?
Aeris: Here and there.
Sephiroth: Meaning she's still trying to figure out how Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz were created. Like I told her, she'll never find out.
Nexus: Let me guess, you pissed in the Lifestream, didn't you?
Sephiroth: . . . shit! I've been found out!
Nexus: *whispers to Karah* Yup. You owe me 100,000,000 gil.
Karah: Dammit.
Sephiroth: *flails* Seriously! How the hell was I supposed to know that would happen?!?!
Nexus: That's really the sickest thing I've ever heard, even worse than chopping your own Mother's head off.
Sephiroth: That's the second time someone dissed me for that!
Nexus: And, yet, it never gets old!
Sephiroth: At least I'm not the one having issues with women!
Nexus: At least I HAVE women, smartass.
Sephiroth: . . . you really had to go that far, didn't you . . .
Rayna: Yes, he did, and I bet you anything, he'll think of more funny ass shit to make fun of you for!
Aeris: Nexus, take it easy on Sephiroth. It's not really his fault he's like that.
Nexus: Yea, you're right. It's mainly Hojo's fault that he's like himself.
Sephiroth: *glares* I hate you, Nexus.
Nexus: Seriously, Sephiroth. I was only telling the truth.
Sephiroth: But you use it against me like it's a bad thing!
Nexus: It IS a bad thing.
Aeris: Yea, sadly.
(A loud explosion is heard coming from outside.)
Nexus: What the hell was that?!
Sephiroth: If I knew, I still wouldn't tell you.
Aeris: Now's not the time to joke around, Sephy.
Sephiroth: I was actually being serious.
Nexus: I hate you.
Karah: Guys, let's not fight right now! We should go check out what caused the explosion!
Gabe: *runs up from the basement* What the f*** happened?!
Nexus: We're gonna go check it out.
Gabe: Damn, and I wanted to fight too.
Nexus: Depending on what caused the explosion, you may get a fight.
Gabe: Really?
Sephiroth: Yes, really! Now shut your ass up, and let's go out and see the reason for the damn explosion!
(Everyone ran outside to the source of the explosion. To everyone's shock, it was Genesis.)
Sephiroth: G-Genesis?!
Genesis: *facing away from the group* So . . . you have returned.
Sephiroth: What do you mean by that? You're the one who just showed up.
Genesis: The most profound mystery is the Gift of the Goddess and in pursuit of this gift we set on a journey and take flight. Hopeless as it may seem we stand and carry onward with the ripples of water that surface on our hearts.
Sephiroth: Hmph. "Loveless" Act 1.
Genesis: Hehe. *turns around to face the group* So, you remembered.
Sephiroth: How could I not, when you've beaten it into my head?
Nexus: Oh god, Crisis Core quoting, bunch of Noobs!
Twiggs: How is he a noob for quoting Crisis Core?
Nexus: Because I said so.
Sephiroth: Nexus, shut up! I'm not a noob for quoting a game I'm from!
Nexus: You are if I say you are!
Sephiroth: Shut up.
Gabe: So, Genesis was the cause of the explosion?
Sephiroth: It would appear so.
Twiggs: Then let's kick his sorry ass!
Sephiroth: If you want to die, then be my guest.
Twiggs: But aren't you stronger?
Sephiroth: I am, but you on the other hand . . . you'll die after just 2 milliseconds.
Twiggs: Hey!
Nexus: No, really, Twiggs, out of all of us, Sephiroth is the only one that actually stands a chance against Genesis.
Twiggs: I guess . . .
Karah: It's okay, Twiggsy-sticks. You at least tried.
Sephiroth: Look, everyone. Just go, but Nexus, Gabe, you two stay here. I think we stand a better chance against him fighting along side each other, even though I hate that idea.
Nexus: That's a first.
Gabe: I'm flabbergasted!
Sephiroth: . . . whatever the hell that means . . .
Gabe: It mea--
Sephiroth: I didn't want you to answer that!
Nexus: Look, everyone, just head back to the Ramble Room. Sephiroth, Gabe, and I will handle this.
Karah: Be careful, Nexus.
Twiggs: Don't get messed up too badly, Gabe.
Gabe: Hey!
Rayna: Please, don't get hurt, Nexus.
Nexus: I won't.
(Everyone went back to the Ramble Room. As for Nexus, Gabe, and Sephiroth, they stayed behind to fight Genesis.)
Genesis: *turns around looking the other way and looks upward* Waiting for it to be received. A harsh tomorrow and rolling winds defy us.
Sephiroth: Seriously, will you stop that?
Genesis: *turns to face them* Hehehe. For you it becomes quite usual to lose your dreams and pride. The Goddess herself has already let go of the arrow from her bow.
Gabe: I've had enough of this!! *he drew his katana and lunged toward Genesis with his blade aimed at his throat*
Genesis: Hehe! *he drew his sword and blocked the attack as well as countered, thrusting Gabe backwards to the ground*
Nexus: Gabe, don't do something so rash like that!
Gabe: I should have thought that one through . . .
Sephiroth: You think?
Genesis: When will the beasts of this world bring their fight to an end? From the dark sky, the Goddess comes whirling down. The door to the light opens to happiness, together with the Gift of the Goddess.
Nexus: Seriously, doesn't this bastard ever shut up about Loveless? I've seen the play, it wasn't that good.
Sephiroth: I've been trying to get him to shut up for years. Do you really think he's gonna stop for you?
Nexus: This is my ramble, I'll have him do as I please.
Sephiroth: Really? Then make him jump up and down on one foot repeating "I'm a poo-poo head"!
Nexus: Okay then. Genesis! Do so!
Genesis: *jumps up and down on one foot* I'm a poo-poo head! . . . DAMN YOU!!!
Sephiroth: *on the ground laughing*
Gabe: That was great! Make him do something else!
Nexus: Hehe! Sure thing! *commands Genesis to do something*
Genesis: *disappears for a few minutes and comes back cross-dressing* Why the hell did I do this?!?!
Sephiroth: *trying to hold it in while his eyes water, but bursts out laughing*
Gabe: *dies of laughter . . . literally*
Nexus: *uses a Phoenix Down on Gabe*
Gabe: *revives and continues to laugh* My god, that is hilarious!
Genesis: Enough of this nonsense! *goes back to his original look* You will pay for this!
Sephiroth: You can't win, unless you use noob combos or something.
Genesis: *blows everything up around them* There's your noob combo! I win! I win!!
Sephiroth: . . . guys, let's go home. This noob isn't gonna play fair.
Nexus: I agree. *leaves with Sephiroth*
Gabe: *turns to walk away, then turns back to look at Genesis* . . . noob. *walks away*
Genesis: You guys suck!!! I'll get you for calling me a noob!!
Sephiroth: *from a distance* You ARE a noob!! *uses the Drawback slash to destroy Genesis*
Genesis: GAH!! I'll . . . get you . . . for this . . . *disappears*
(Nexus, Gabe, and Sephiroth return back to the Ramble Room and are reunited with everyone there.)
Rayna: *runs to Nexus and jumps into his arms* Hey, baby!
Nexus: Hey there, hun!
Sephiroth: *walks by them* Get a room, you two!
Nexus: We do, you ass.
Sephiroth: Then, for the love of Jenova, use it!
Twiggs: Hey, leave them alone, Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: *glares at Twiggs*
Twiggs: *gulp*
Karah: It's okay, Twiggsy-sticks.
Sephiroth: *looks ever on the couch and notices two new people* Who the hell?
Karah: Oh! You haven't met these guys yet have you? This is--
Nexus: Jade?! Adriel?! It's great to see ya! How'd you guys get here?!
Jade: Hey, Nexus! We just came over and thought we should hang out!
Adriel: Yea, man. *walks over to Nexus and they give each other a hand shake* Been a while, y'know.
Nexus: It's a pleasure to have you guys here!
Sephiroth: Yea, but who the f*** are they?!?!
Karah: They're friends of mine!
Twiggs: And Adriel is my older brother.
Sephiroth: . . . *points to the door* Out!
Nexus: Sephiroth! Shut up you stupid noob!
Sephiroth: Don't call me a stupid noob, you goddamned whore!
Nexus: You son of a-- *lunges at Sephiroth and attacks*
Sephiroth: OH MY GOD!! A LIMEY IS ATTACKING ME!!!
Jade: I think we may like it here!
Adriel: I think so too.
Gabe: Yea, if you like total random moments, you'll fit in fine.
Nexus: *kills Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *dead* . . . . . . . . .
Nexus: WHO'S THE LIMEY NOW, BITCH!!
Everyone else: . . . . .
The End!
Click here to go back to the rambles page!
Click here to go back to the home page!