Nexus: Okay! This isn't a ramble, but to keep up with some updates, I thought I'd make this.

Sephiroth: No one cares.

Nexus: I'm sure SOMEONE cares! .... right?

Sephiroth: *looks around* ... nope.

Rufus: Enough, Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Oooooh! And what are you gonna do about it, pussy boy?

Nexus: Enough fighting! I have something to say!

Sephiroth: No one wants to hear it!

Nexus: Are you all sick and tired of that lame excuse for a song to teach your kids your ABC's?

Sephiroth: Jenova knows I am.

Rufus: You don't have kids!

Sephiroth: Then what do you call Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz?

Rufus: Who's the mother?

Sephiroth: No one.

Rufus: Then how--?

Sephiroth: I pissed in the Lifestream. There, happy?

Nexus: Enough! Okay! Let's begin for all you Final Fantasy lovers out there!

Sephiroth: Oh, god.

A is for Al Bhed.

Nexus: Yes, the cruel hearted people that kidnap all the Summoners in FFX.

Sephiroth: No body likes them.

Nexus: I like Rikku.

Sephiroth: You like that stupid kid that looks like Kadaj?

Nexus: Rikku doesn't look li-- NOT RIKU FROM KINGDOM HEARTS!!!

Sephiroth: Whatever.

B is for Banora.

Nexus: Hey, Sephiroth, where the hell IS Banora on the FF7 map?

Sephiroth: It's at the corner of "Shut your yap" and "Get a life".

Nexus: Hardass.

C is for Cid.

Nexus: It just wouldn't be a Final Fantasy game without Cid!

Sephiroth: Yes, it just wouldn't be the same without "SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!!!!"

Nexus: I'll admit, he did have some language issues, but ... oh whatever! He kicks ass!

Sephiroth: The HELL he does!

D is Dumbapples.

Nexus: I wonder what they taste like.

Sephiroth: Go ask the obsessed dumbass.

Nexus: Isn't he your friend?!

Sephiroth: Not after I found out that he was stealing money from me.

Nexus: ... oh.

E is for Esthar.

Nexus: The grand city of Esthar! Squall's dad is the president of that place!

Sephiroth: He's a loser!

Rufus: So are you.

Sephiroth: Says who?!

Rufus: *defeats Safer Sephiroth* ... says the game.

Sephiroth: *twitch*

F is for Fire.

Nexus: Obviously one of the starter spells you learn in the series.

Sephiroth: It sucks. What's next?

G is for Gongaga.

Nexus: Zack's hometown!

Sephiroth: Zack the Puppy?!

Nexus: Got a better idea for G?

Sephiroth: Let's see ... God, meaning me. Goddess, meaning my mom. Gravity, meaning the thing that's gonna kick your ass.

Nexus: Screw you.

H is for Hellfire.

Sephiroth: Ifrit's attack?

Nexus: Yup.

I is for Ifrit.

Sephiroth: You ass. Now I'll never hear the end of it from him!

Nexus: Got any better ideas for I?

Sephiroth: Igloo!!!

Nexus: What the hell does that have to do with Final Fantasy?!

Sephiroth: You love Final Fantasy, and your heart is as cold as the ice it's made of.

Nexus: You ass!

J is for Jenova.

Nexus: Sephiroth's demented mother!

Sephiroth: Hey!

Nexus: Call me cold hearted, I insult your mother.

Sephiroth: I hate you.

K is for Kefka.

Nexus: Greatest villain ever!

Sephiroth: Excuse me?!

Nexus: And I quote, "I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!!!!!!"

L is for Laguna.

Nexus: Squall's dad!

Sephiroth: I hate him.

Nexus: Not the easiest guy to get along with.

M is for Midgar.

Sephiroth: I worked there.

Rufus: I rule there!

Nexus: I've been there!

Rufus: To steal a briefcase of mine!

Nexus: Who cares.

Rufus: Me!

Sephiroth: And me!!

Nexus: Since I'm the only one that matters, no body cares.

Sephiroth: Screw you!

N is for Nibelheim.

Nexus: Cloud's hometown, that got destroyed by the poorly rendered momma's boy!

Sephiroth: That's right! I -- F***ING HATE YOU!!!!

O is for Odine.

Nexus: The creepy scientist guy in FF8.

Sephiroth: Creepier than my father?

Nexus: No, Hojo is WAY creepier ... because he made you.

Sephiroth: One of these days, I WILL kill you!

P is for Paine.

Nexus: She's the hottest character in X-2 ... even though I didn't like the game itself.

Sephiroth: She's a female version of me.

Nexus: *twitch*

Q is for Quistis.

Nexus: Squall's former teacher and childhood friend!

Sephiroth: She steals more than Yuffie!

Nexus: Well...she didn't really steal anything in the game.

Sephiroth: So?

Nexus: Bleh.

R is for Rufus.

Rufus: Me!!!

Nexus: Yup. The President of ShinRa.

Sephiroth: Nobody likes you, ya loser! *points to Rufus*

Nexus: Leave him alone! On to the S!

S is for Shinra.

Sephiroth: OH HELL F***ING NO GODDAMN F***ING WAY!!! HOW CAN YOU F***ING DO THAT TO ME!!!

Nexus: Well, I was going to put your name there, but you were mean to Rufus.

Rufus: Heh! It's my full name in a row!

Sephiroth: *cries loudly*

T is for Terra.

Nexus: Either a character from FF6 or the other planet in FF9.

Sephiroth: I hate both. Should have been Tifa!

Nexus: ... okay, it could be Tifa. But Terra is better.

U is for Ultima.

Nexus: The most powerful spell in FF9.

Sephiroth: Meteor's better.

Nexus: I'm trying to make it even among the games!

Sephiroth: FF7 is the best, because I'm the best!

V is for Vincent.

Nexus: VINCENT RULES!

Sephiroth: I'm better!

Nexus: Better at being an ass.

Sephiroth: Go rot in a hole.

W is for Wutai.

Nexus: Yuffie's hometown!

Sephiroth: I hate it there.

Rufus: As do I. They fought against us, so we crushed them!

Nexus: Both of you are evil!

Sephiroth: What EVER gave you that idea?

X is for X-Potion.

Nexus: Can't have enough of those.

Sephiroth: Cheater.

Y is for Yuna.

Sephiroth: Why the summoner of FFX?

Nexus: Since I had Paine up there, I had to put her up too.

And Z is for Zidane.

Nexus: Yup! The main character of FF9! The cool guy with the monkey tail!

Sephiroth: At least his hot sister doesn't have one.

Nexus: ... sister?

Sephiroth: Yea! Kuja! She's hot!!

Nexus: ............. *calmly walks away, shaking head*

Sephiroth: What did I do?

Rufus: Um ... yea. You should know....

Sephiroth: Know what?,/p>

Rufus: *whispers into his ear*

Sephiroth: *eyes go wide* ... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! *runs away*

Rufus: ... yea, I knew it. He's gay for Kuja.