Also, back in these days of milk and honey, were these things called laptops. These marvelous machines were used by incredibly rich people with so much fucking work that needed to be done that they actually needed to carry their computer with them. I mean, you have no fucking clue how important these people were! Get out of their fucking way if they're walking in the airport! You're nothing, and they need to get through, dammit!
But it seems that with growing technology, as always, the meaning has been lost. Dell, in particular, has its entire new angle to be selling laptop computers to EVERYBODY!
In some respects, this is good. I mean, you don't have to be the most important fucking business man ever to want to be able to carry your computer around. And it's nice to bring your music library, your schoolwork, or some of your less complicated video games with you.
THEN THERE'S THE PEOPLE THAT DELL SUCKERS IN!
You know who I mean. The people who buy the fucking "Notebook," as they're now called (when the fuck did laptops become notebooks? I smell a great degradation of society here and now where paper and pen are going to be phased out in about fifteen years, and that's just plain UNAMERICAN!) and it never leaves the God damned desk. THAT'S RIGHT, KIDS! You paid more money for a shittier, slower, harder to fix, portable version of a desktop computer...and you don't fucking take it anywhere.
Then you complain about why it's so damn slow. Well let me tell you why it's so damn slow.
The following is a list compiled from my job, which is to fix the computers of residents in their dorm rooms. About 90% of the computers that have had problems (including and not including viruses) were Dell "Notebooks."
-- Hello Celeron processor. If you're curious what a Celeron processor is, I'd like to show a quick diagram of how they're made:
-- The minimum recommended amount of RAM needed to run Windows XP is 256 MB. The reason is that XP uses a TON of RAM just to run. Just to start and sit there, doing nothing on your desk, because you're too much of a fucking moron to actually use to portability of your laptop computer. Of course, Dell has no problem sending you a "Notebook" with a shitty Celeron Processor and 128 MB RAM! HALF OF THE RECOMMENDED AMOUNT!
And of course, being a first year college student who knows nothing about the very, very, very expensive toy you're buying, you don't know why the fuck it takes ten minutes to sign into AOL Instant Messenger so you can chat like a moron, or why the porn won't load as fast as it will on your roomate's computer.
128 MB of RAM with Windows XP leaves a whopping 16 MB of RAM free to do any sort of work. Have fun running Kazaa with that, moron.
-- On a desktop computer, it's pretty easy to install new chips and hardware. You simply remove the case, which may be sophisticated, but always possible and relatively easy, and put the chips right in.
A "Notebook," however, is quite a different story. You can bet that you can hit the F5 key and open a service entrance to the mystical land of Narnia before you figure out how to install RAM onto a laptop. Go ahead. Open one without breaking it. Once you do that, install the proper chipsize piece of RAM or the video card in that compacted, jumbled mess of evil.
"Notebooks" were never designed to be upgraded, no matter what Dell tries to sell you. They exist to be as you bought them, unless you want to pay Dell even more fucking money to make it slightly better.
-- Babies choke on Dell laptops.
There are an estimated 28 deaths a year by babies, left unattended and surfing the internet, that choke to death while trying to chew on laptop computers. Whoops.
That, along with other reasons (that I don't know because I don't own a fucking laptop because I won't bring one anywhere anyway) exemplify not the evils of laptops, since they simply exist. Rather, that Dell is an evil, maniacal, souless beast that will do anything to make a dollar. Even pawn off a cheap piece of shit that has no business going to a generic college dorm room, and sucker another moron into years of tech support, ending with a suicide.