GOOD GOLEY MOLEY! I dare say it costs five times as much to ship this fucking piece of sand, plastic, and metal than my entire computer did!
Are you familiar with Alienware?
If you're not, go to Alienware.com and check them out, trying not to cry. I'll explain why you'll cry.
At first glance, you'll say, "Finally! A computer company for me!"
But didn't we all say that about Dell a couple years ago when their pothead, shitbrained, dumbass actor was telling us, "Dude, spend your money here!" For more on Dell, read a few days back.
Anyway, allow me to show you what Alienware can do for you.
I build a standard gaming computer. It's got a semi-decent graphics card, a liquid coolant system, a plasma monitor, and a couple minor nice features. Now is where you find out that this company only delivers to the Nazi elite:
Fuck you, Alienware! Fuck you, and fuck your fucking mother! And fuck your fucking father! And fuck your fucking computer!
Fuck your burning of the Jews and your planned destruction of the moon! And fuck your CEO three times right up his overpricing, tight, well managed ass! With a boat oar!
If you're wondering what to do at this point in your life now that you know you'll NEVER BE ABLE TO BUY THIS COMPUTER, I believe that Jeff Hodgins made a great example of himself:
And, by the way, this overpriced piece of shit that runs WINDOWS XP! For this much god damned money, can we get a fucking operating system that doesn't still have a critical folder named "I386" which runs on technology BUILT IN THE FUCKING 80's!
And it doesn't even have the top of the line of processors. It has a PENTIUM 4!!! The mish mash of several personalized parts that cost me about $1000 in my room has a fucking Pentium 4, you bastards!
Way to use the idoicy of most people to suck their hard earned money from their stony, slowly dying souls. I hope you can put your kids through school using 25 years of back breaking labor from some steel mill worker that just wanted to give his son a nice computer for Christmas. Hitler.